Philosophical text with funny meaning

1. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again.

2. Life is like a dream, always insomnia; Life is like a play, I always wear help; Life is like a song, I always go out of tune; Life is like a battlefield, and I am always possessed.

Time is the best teacher, but it's a pity that he finally killed all the students.

4. Four tragedies in life: a long drought meets a sweet rain, only one drop; Meet an old friend in another country and touch the creditor; Wedding night, next door; I was dreaming when I wanted to be the first.

The math teacher told me that triangles are the most stable, and love experiences reminded me that love triangles are the most dangerous.

6. When life turned everything into black humor with malice, I got on the boat and turned myself into a hooligan with higher education.

7. As an optimistic person in others' eyes, you probably hanged yourself, and everyone thought you were swinging.

8. Women must be kind to themselves. Once you are exhausted, other women will spend your money, live in your room, sleep with your husband and beat your baby!

9. Running a red light generally has two consequences, either one minute faster than others or a lifetime faster than others.

10. He is just a pot of water, which is poured into your rice pile. After several years, clear water turns into mellow wine, and you become a pile of abandoned rotten rice, which can be used to feed pigs.

1 1. In today's society, it is useless to cook raw rice into cooked rice. Even if it turns into popcorn, the one who should run will still run.

12. Do you want to get rich overnight? Do you want to be worth more than 100 million? Do you need food and clothing? Do you want to live carefree? Why don't you stay with me and we'll think together.

13. I suggest you play less with your mobile phones and computers. I feel that my eyesight is getting worse and worse recently, and I can't see the money when I open my wallet.

14. I believe there must be someone in this world who doesn't mind all your shortcomings, such as freckles and acne, flat chest and fat legs, rudeness and unreasonable behavior, laziness and slowness. This man is your rival in love.

15. When God closes a door for you, he always leaves many unlocked phone numbers for you on the wall.

16. The beauty of learning is that people are confused; The beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; The beauty of a woman lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying.

17. Sometimes, people are cold to you. Maybe it's not your problem. Maybe people just don't like ugly people.

18. Every time I don't want to study, I tell myself in the mirror that if I grow up like this, I must study hard, otherwise others will say that that person has nothing but beauty.

19. Some seemingly quiet girls don't even have extra money behind them and even owe ants flowers.

20. When I hate someone, if this person suddenly says that he likes me, then I don't hate each other at all. I am very principled and can't hate a man with vision.

2 1. says that money is evil and everyone fishes; Say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; It is said that the height is too cold and everyone is climbing; Say that alcohol and tobacco hurt the body and don't quit; Say heaven is the best, don't go!

22. Little girls want to find a white horse in their dreams. When they opened their eyes, they found that the whole world was a gray donkey. After being heartbroken, they can only choose a strong one from the donkeys. Such donkeys are named economical and applicable people.

23. At this age, it's embarrassing. Half of my friends have become parents, and the other half are so drunk that they don't even know their parents every day.

24. Money can buy a house, but it can't buy a home. Marriage can be bought, but love cannot. You can buy a clock, but you can't buy time. Money is not everything, but it is the root of pain! Give me your money and let me suffer alone. ...