Jokes about health

1, it is recommended that a patient see a doctor at a time. "Did you consult anyone about your illness before you came here?" The doctor asked. "Just ask the owner of the drugstore around the corner," the patient replied. Doctors hate that people who are not doctors often give medical advice. He made no secret of this: "What bad idea did that fool give you?" "He asked me to come to you." 2. A woman went to an obstetrician with her baby in her arms and asked her: Does the baby eat breast milk or milk? Woman: Breastfeeding! Doctor: Then please take off your clothes. Woman: Ah! ? Why? Doctor: Please don't be nervous. This is obstetrics and gynecology. The woman who would never invade you took off her coat with a grain of salt. The doctor touched the woman's chest with his hand, touched it down and rubbed it left and right. Say to this woman: No wonder the baby is malnourished. You don't have breast milk! 3. "Normal" mental patients

A doctor in a mental hospital was clamored by a group of patients to leave the hospital.

Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore, so I drew a door on the wall.

Tell the patient that you can go out as long as you can open this door.

So the patient kept trying to open this door,

Only one patient refused to open the door and laughed at them.

The doctor thought, finally someone can be discharged normally.

So he asked him, why do you laugh at them?

The patient replied that because they couldn't open it,

I have the key to this door! 4. What stand out about you?

Political achievements are not outstanding, performance is not outstanding, and lumbar disc is prominent;

The salary is not high, the bonus is not high, and the blood lipid, blood sugar and blood pressure are high;

No speech at the conference, no speech at the meeting, prostatitis. 5. Practice as a doctor

General doctors practice more, and signs often say: Wang Surgery, Li Internal Medicine, etc.

But some surnames just can't be written like this, such as:

Open orthopedic surname Duan: "Duan" orthopedics

Liu Kai Obstetrics and Gynecology: "Liu" Obstetrics

Wu's dentistry: "Wu" dentistry

An ophthalmologist named Shan: "Shan" Ophthalmology

Seeing this side, I thought of a sign of Chinese medicine.

The Chinese doctor's surname is "Song", and the signboard just says "Song Traditional Chinese Medicine" ... 6. The operation is very simple, be brave.

A patient ran out of the operating room and looked flustered.

The dean asked the patient, "What's the matter?"

The patient replied, "The nurse said,' Be brave, appendectomy is simple.' "

Dean: "He's right, it's a fact."

Patient: "alas! She said it to the doctor who is going to operate on me! "