A joke about farting

The complete works of jokes about farting

I believe that everyone farts sometimes, so there will be some inappropriate times to fart. I feel unhappy that I can't fart, and I often make jokes about it.

The bride farted.

Once married, the bride farted and the scene became awkward. One person said, "The bride farted, which is very lucky." After a while, I farted two times and the scene became awkward. The man said, "The bride released two, and one was the first two." After a while, she farted and the scene became awkward. Only the man said, "run, the bride wants to pull!" " "

I didn't catch what you said

When a young man and a young woman are dating in the park, the girl especially wants to fart. She had an idea:

Woman: Have you ever heard the cuckoo?

M: I haven't heard of it.

Woman: I'll teach you, boo (fart sound)-gu (accent).

I have learned it several times, but I have finished playing what I should play.

Woman: Did you hear me clearly?

Man: I didn't hear you clearly because of the loud fart.

Stealing a clock to plug your ears-deceiving yourself.

A young lady and an old lady are sitting on the train together. The young lady wanted to fart, but she couldn't hold back, so she pretended to clean the window with her hands and fart continuously with the sound of friction.

However, the old lady sitting next to her said to her, "The sound is OK, but what about the smell?"

Run if it stinks to death.

One day, Xiaoming came to visit his future mother-in-law. Mother-in-law: "Sit anywhere, the food is almost ready!" " "Then I went into the kitchen and began to get busy. At this time, only nervous Xiao Ming and his mother-in-law's dog Xiao Bai were left in the living room.

Suddenly, Xiao Ming found a sharp pain in his stomach. He thought, no! I must hold back! But he couldn't help it, poof! He farted invincible, and he thought, this is a dead man, and he will be driven out! Unexpectedly, my mother-in-law just shouted "Little White!" Xiaoming thought with relief: Fortunately, Xiaobai is my scapegoat.

Then he couldn't help farting for the second time, but his mother-in-law shouted "Xiao Bai!" " "

When he farted for the third time, he saw his mother-in-law rush out and shout, "Little White! You don't want to run until you stink, do you? ! "

Boom, boom, boom.

A woman wants to fart on the bus, but she doesn't know what to do. Suddenly Beethoven's Symphony of Destiny sounded in the bus, and she followed the music: boom, boom, boom, boom. ......

Naturally solved. While observing the reaction of other passengers, I laughed internally.

Hmm? They all stared at her with their noses covered. It turned out that the Symphony of Destiny came not from the car radio, but from her walkman.

It is tuned to vibrate.

In the afternoon, I work alone in the office. A colleague in front ate too much at noon and farted wildly. It's so loud that this man can't help it. He cursed: "You can't hold it, *" Finally, there was a moment of peace. When this man was refreshed, he suddenly saw the heir in front of him shaking wildly and asked, "What's the matter with you?"

The man replied, "I'm afraid to disturb you." I'll make it vibrate ... "

It's all on me

Xiao Gan is a beautiful and moving woman, but her digestive system is not very good, so she often farts.

On this day, Xiao Gan farted on the bus again. ...

Liang Xiao, a classmate standing next to her, immediately said, "Sorry, I farted just now", which immediately won Xiao Gan's grateful eyes.

However, not for a while, Xiao Gan came again. ...

Another classmate Xiao Jiang went on to say, "I just put that." I am really sorry! "

Also took a grateful look at ginger.

However, she couldn't help but fart loudly and smelly ... At this moment, another classmate, Ma Xiao, hurriedly said, "Ladies and gentlemen, the fart put by this lady in the future is on me."

How to make farting civilized

One day, the baby farted and said to his mother, "Mom, I farted a lot."

The mother educated the baby and said, "Baby, this is uncivilized."

The next day at dinner, the baby farted again and said, "Mom, my ass ... Shout."

Blow the guts out

A couple have been married for many years. The only contradiction after their marriage is that her husband has a bad habit of farting loudly every morning.

The sound of farting woke his wife, and the smell made her cry, which led to asthma.

Every morning she begged him not to fart, because it would make her sick. He told his wife that you must fart. Farting is natural. She told her husband to see a doctor, otherwise, he would blow up his internal organs one day.

A few years later, the husband still farted loudly! Thanksgiving is coming. In the morning, my wife is packing turkey and preparing dinner. Husband is sleeping upstairs, snoring like thunder. My wife looked at the internal organs, neck, stomach, liver and all the chickens in the bowl, and suddenly thought of a cruel trick.

She picked up the bowl and went upstairs. Her husband is still sleeping. She gently pulled open the quilt and her husband's underwear and poured all the turkey guts from the bowl into his underwear.

After a while, she heard her husband wake up and fart, then she heard screams and hurried footsteps. He ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself, laughing her to the ground.

After years of torture, she finally really got back at him. After more than 20 minutes, the husband went downstairs. He said, "Baby, you are right." "Over the years, you have been warning me that I just won't listen to you."

"What is it?" The wife asked.

"Oh, you always told me that one day I would stop farting, because I blew my intestines out, and today finally happened. But, thank God, I put some vaseline on two fingers, and I think I stuffed most of my internal organs back.