What is the funniest joke you have ever heard?

I don't remember any funny jokes, but two of them impressed me particularly. Let's share it today.

It is said that three soldiers were captured by enemy generals after a war, and then the enemy generals told them, "I can give you a chance to live, but you must first go to the orchard over there and pick three fruits you like best." Then the three soldiers went to the fruit forest together. After a while, the first soldier came out. He held three watermelons in his arms, and then rushed to the enemy general excitedly and told him, "I came out with my favorite fruit." What do you want me to do next? " Then the enemy general said, "You put these three watermelons in your anus." Of course the soldier couldn't do it, and then he was shot.

Shortly after the first video was filmed, the second soldier came out. He took out three grapes, then rushed to the enemy general and asked what you want me to do. The enemy general said that you stuffed these three grapes into your anus. The second soldier was overjoyed, because it was a very simple thing! Then he stuffed the grapes into his anus one by one. When he stuffed the second grape, the soldier smiled and squeezed it out. The enemy general saw this and shot him, too.

Then in heaven, the first soldier asked the second soldier, "Why are you laughing?" Then the second soldier said, "Because when I was stuffing the second grape, the three soldiers I saw came out with three durians in their arms."

Then the second joke goes like this. There are three people walking side by side in the desert. They are so hungry that they think they will die soon. Just then, they saw a golden kettle in front of them, and then they couldn't wait to open it, but there was no water in it, but a toad came out. Toad said it was the patron saint of this desert. Because it met an evil mage, it was sealed in this kettle. Now these three people have saved, so it can satisfy their three wishes.

The first man told toad that he wanted a lot of money, and then toad gave the first man a lot of money. The first man went on to say that he wanted many beautiful women, and then toad gave the first man many beautiful women. Finally, the first man said, "I don't want to be here." Please take me home. " The second man said he wanted power, and then the second man became emperor; The second man went on to say that he wanted a lot of land, and then the second man got thousands of acres of land; Finally, the second man said, "I don't want to be here either." Please take me home. " The third man said, why don't you give him a pot of water first? Then toad gave him a pot of water, and the third man said he was still thirsty. Give him another pot of water, and then toad gives him another pot of water. Finally, the third man finished two pots of water and said, "I'm so lonely here alone." Please change the first two people back. "