The more stories or jokes about 20 words, the better. Thank you.

1. A delegation came to visit our school. When leaving, a group of 20 people stood at the school gate and took photos as a souvenir. I happened to pass by.

One of the delegations said to me with a camera, "Little brother, let's take a picture."

I was so happy that I ran to stand next to the 20th person, waiting to say "eggplant".

Everyone is sweating!

2. A buddy wore a T-shirt with a big head of Che Guevara, which was very popular. To take a bus, a child and her mother stood opposite. The children saw his T-shirt and said to their mother, Mom, look at Grandpa KFC. . . That guy was struck by lightning. . . What my mother said later was even more thunder: son, that's not grandpa KFC, that's uncle Lei Feng. . .

Chatting with my boyfriend, speaking of rising, my saliva splashed all over his face. Then instinctively wipe it off by hand. I was a little embarrassed, but I deliberately shifted my focus and pretended to be angry: "What? Don't like me, "he said with a gentleman's smile. "No, wipe it evenly!"

4. Fried Fat Rabbit v. 13: 19:03

In the past, the school said that it was necessary to have a physical examination ~

Want stool for laboratory testing,

Fat rabbit with sauce flavor v.13:19:17.

Then everyone takes a little ~

Ф Cat Purple 13: 19: 15

then

Fat rabbit with sauce flavor v.13:19: 41.

That alumnus is packed in Chow Tai Fook's bag and box.

Ф Ф Cat Purple 13: 19:32

- -

Fat rabbit with sauce v. 13:20:02

Then I walked halfway ~ I was robbed by a motorcycle driver.

5. A girlfriend, with very small breasts, we bury her every day. One day, this man finally couldn't bear it. He shouted at us: "My chest is small, so I will follow my father, whatever!"

6. I took my family to swim on the beach in Jinshan City today, mainly to play with the children in the sand.

In the process of piling sand, the lifeguard (commander) on the distant high platform shouted with a megaphone: Parents with children should pay attention, please take good care of their children, especially those with their own children and other people's wives, please don't leave them aside, I can see that!

7. There will be several classes in the university in large classes together, and there will be one or two hundred people sitting in the oversized ladder classroom. This class has everything in the back except the first three rows. If the first class in the morning is a big class, people often bring breakfast in, such as soybean milk buns and fried dough sticks. The teacher just turned a blind eye. But then breakfast was strictly forbidden in class, because a buddy brought in a bowl of wonton. ...

The huge classroom was unusually quiet, and everyone was silent together with the diffuse smell of wonton and the sucking sound of brothers struggling to eat wonton.

8. Speaking of the self-study that night, the class will be over soon. I was addicted to smoking, so I went to the bathroom to smoke. I usually smoke when I take a shit at school. I went into the toilet, put the last cigarette in my mouth, then went into a squatting position, took off my pants, squatted down, lit a fire, and did it in one go. At this moment, my phone rang, and I subconsciously buried my head … My last cigarette was directly inserted into camel excrement in the cesspit … I saw that there was no one around, so I picked it up from the excrement. Fortunately, I only dipped a little poop in the front and pinched it off. So I took out my mobile phone, and when I saw it belonged to one of my buddies, I chatted with him. Then ... I subconsciously put the cigarette in my mouth ... it was the one with shit on it ... I stood up in an instant ... I had something to say ... I rushed to the faucet ... I washed my mouth ... and found that I didn't wipe my ass ... I was shocked.

9. Once, a buddy invited some of our friends to his uncle's restaurant for their birthdays. The atmosphere was good, and they all drank a lot of beer. I was in a hurry to find the toilet. I looked around, but I didn't find the toilet in the shop, so I asked the buddy. The buddy said that the store is small, the toilet is built outside the store, and you go out to the right. I ran as he said, but I didn't see the toilet. The door is closed. I ran back to him and said, "Where is the toilet? It's just a small warehouse and the door is still locked. " That buddy was drunk, too, and said loudly, "That's the warehouse. It's locked. If you kick it open, I'll be responsible for the door." After listening to his words, driven by alcohol and urgency, I ran to the warehouse, more than 0 meters away from the warehouse 10.

10. A program of local TV station. The host is talking to a 4-year-old child.

Compere: What's your name, Tongue?

Child: x Xiaoyu

Compere: Is it called small fish pinching shrimp?

Child: It snowed the day I was born.

Compere: Then why isn't shrimp called Xiaoxue Pinch?

Child: Is your old man's name Xiaoxue? !

Moderator: ...

1 1. In junior high school, there were two best friends. One day, after playing the game, it was very late. Three people walked home, and there was no one on the road. I walked in front with one of them and talked about our achievements just now. We suddenly felt that we were missing someone, so we looked back. When we looked at the dim lights on the road, there was no one there. Our backs are cold and we have to bite the bullet. It turns out that our buddy fell into the drainage well. We called his name in BH, but he didn't answer again. In order to make sure someone was there, my classmate threw a broken brick in and heard screams. We confirmed that it was his. ...

12. Colleagues asked deeply: How many days did you say you would go abroad for a holiday on 1 1 month/day?

13

I have a female colleague,

My name is Li Rui,

There is a male colleague,

The name is Li. ...

14. In winter, I eat hot pot with my classmates. After eating, I'll come out first and wait for the students behind me. I pick my teeth according to the black glass of the off-road vehicle, and then apply lip balm ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I finished fixing my hair, the window rolled down and a group of people looked at me in the car. A macho man's face was close to mine and said, Little Sister, have you finished filming? We are driving!

15. When I first went to college, because our place was messy, some friends in the dormitory went to the market to buy knives and put them in the dormitory for self-defense. I passed a bank when I bought it back, just in time for others to get off work and put boxes of money on the cash truck. We wondered not to let the escort get the wrong idea, so we asked a buddy to hide the knife in his clothes. As a result, the boy came to the escort with a gun. Later, we left silently, afraid to pick a knife. . .

16. triboelectricity, a middle school physics teacher, said: We take off our sweaters in winter. The sweater creaked. And lightning. But not in summer. Why?

Boy in the back: Because I don't wear sweaters in summer.

17. My friend was drunk once. According to civilized language, he was in the toilet, holding the phone in his right hand and pressing his left hand in the mirror, looking at the "prisoner" in the mirror affectionately: Did you eat well? Has the prison been strictly controlled recently? Leave as soon as possible ...

18. I read an article on Puffs today, which contained two sentences: "I lay on the beach for three and a half years, and today the waves knocked me over". I think this is a warning motto and a good word in life, so I changed this sentence to MSN's signature. In the evening, I suddenly received a phone call from my friend MM and asked where my signature came from. I told MM that "life should be like this, which requires patience and perseverance", and MM was silent.

19. My parents were not at home last night, so I had to cook and stir-fry by myself. After pouring the oil into the pot, I heard the phone ringing in the bedroom, ran back to the bedroom with my mobile phone, and walked to the kitchen while talking on the phone. When I got to the kitchen, I saw the oil boiling and spilled everywhere. When I got excited, I threw my mobile phone in the pot. ...

20. Some buses in Hangzhou are relatively high-end, so the glass is rather stuffy. It says: break the glass in an emergency.

The temperature has risen these days, and the bus is hot, and there are many people on the bus. The most depressing thing is not knowing that the immoral guy put a silent fart in the car. . . Later, the glass broke. . .

2 1. One night, when my parents came back from playing mahjong, I woke up when they came home, but I was still confused.

Suddenly my leg cramps died (I think it is very long), and then I jumped out of bed. At that time, I was confused and just wanted to

Take two steps to suppress cramps.

As a result, I took two steps and felt that I could not persist any longer. I plopped down on my knees in front of my father and gave him a fright.

Kneeling down, I felt no cramps, then stood up silently and turned back to my room to sleep.

There was not a word in the whole process. I guess my father was petrified at that time.

I remember going to the swimming pool with my parents once. Just entering the gate, I saw a social youth with a tattoo, a shaved head and a big gold chain around his neck! When we got into the water to get used to the temperature, we watched the brother swagger past a stop point in the water, and lightning happened. . . The thick gold chain around his neck floated on the water. . . . .

23. On July 22nd, 2009, I met a buddy at the Puff and said, "Damn, the solar eclipse was in the daytime, which kept me waiting all night."

24. The last time I watched a CCTV program, I couldn't remember the name, but I remember that at the beginning, a reporter asked a person at the train station, "Are you happy?" Ask everyone, some people say happiness, some people say unhappiness, and then ask a farmer. .....

Reporter: "Are you happy?"

The farmer looked at the reporter a few times and said innocently

"My surname is Wang."

25. I perform plays at school. Before my monologue appeared, I noticed some girls changing clothes backstage-so I got **high. This play is Superstar of Jesus Christ, and I play Jesus. I only wear a few pieces of cloth. As a result, all the audience saw that Jesus was shamefully hard when he was crucified.

26. Punching in the bus is usually a beep.

There is also a student card, the voice is "di, student card" ..

One of our classmates, a woman, rushed to take the bus, but she didn't bring any money. The bus came in a hurry. ..

I queued up to get on the bus as normal as everyone else, and she took the school student ID card to the machine when she punched in.

Shake it a little .. A "Dee, student ID" came out of his mouth in Mandarin. He walked away in style. The bus driver was blind on the spot.

Ah, after a few seconds ... the car started slowly ... no one wanted to say more. .....

27. Sesame in Korea is very, very expensive. A friend with a stick always brings back ten kilograms of sesame seeds every time he comes to China.

Asked why he didn't bring more, he said that bringing more was contraband. ....

28. The head teacher in junior high school likes to pick his nose. Once in self-study, the teacher came in to see if our homework was done well. After a visit, he became interested in my neighbor's homework. While sticking out your head to watch him do the problem, don't forget to pick your nose with your hand. Just listen to "pa", the teacher's booger fell on the neighbor's exercise book! At this time, the teacher should also be embarrassed to stand there and not know what to say. At this time, something terrible happened: I saw my neighbor slowly raise his head, look at the teacher and say, thank you, Long En!

29. For the computer test, wait in the preparation area first, and then enter the test area through a big glass door. After I finished the exam, I touched the door for a long time, but I couldn't touch the glass. The kind teacher next to me reminded me: "classmate, the door is open." ………