"Communication Bible"

If you associate the scene where something happened, and then look back, you will find that when something happened, communication was more than just verbal expression.

So you may ask, what is communication other than verbal expression? For example, when a doctor treats a patient, he or she does not just “see” the patient, have a face-to-face meeting, and then prescribe a prescription to solve the problem. But "look, hear, ask, and feel." Then communication is not just about "talking", but you must first listen well, empathize, and use a sincere attitude to effectively convey it to the recipient and make the recipient accept it, so as to achieve the ultimate goal of your expression.

Is communication that complicated? No. Can these problems be solved? certainly!

The book "Communication Bible" is a very practical book with a lot of useful information. Help readers improve "communication skills" or "business communication abilities." All possible communication situation skills of "listening, speaking, reading and writing" are explained in detail. We help you overcome all communication challenges and carry out good "self-development" and "career development" at all times.

The author, Nicky Stanton, is an outstanding consultant in the areas of management, communication, business English, leadership and team development, and teaches communication courses on campus.

1. The four major goals of communication:

Whether we are communicating in writing or speaking, we are trying to persuade, inform, entertain, explain, convince, educate the other party, or achieve other purposes , there are always four main goals behind it:

1. To be received (to be heard or read)

2. To be understood

3. Be accepted

4. Make the other party take action (change behavior or attitude)

As long as any one of the goals is not achieved, communication has failed. The frustration and dissatisfaction caused by communication failure often manifests itself in "Can't you understand what I said?" The other party will also become angry with you because of this sentence. Think about whether you have encountered similar things before.

Poor communication will lead to ups and downs in the attitudes of both parties, excitement, and even unpleasantness.

2. Consider five aspects to make communication more effective:

No matter what kind of communication you want to conduct, asking yourself the simple questions listed below in the five aspects in advance will not only make Your communication is more likely to be successful, and it also makes it easier for you to communicate.

Communication is an art, not simply talking without thinking. We must always pay attention to this.

1. Reason (purpose):

Why do we need to communicate like this? What is the real reason for my communication? What do I hope will result from this? Change the other person's attitude or opinion?

What do I want the other person to do after communicating? What is my purpose? Inform, persuade, influence, educate, sympathize, entertain, advise, explain or stimulate ideas?

2. Object: Who is my audience (listener or reader)? What kind of person are they? What kind of personality, educational background, age, and status do they have? How are they likely to react to the content of the message? How much do they (do) already know about the subject of the message? a lot of? not much? Not at all? Know more or less than I do?

3. Time and place:

Where will the other party receive my information? In the office, where relevant data is readily available; or far away, where I may need to remind them of relevant facts?

Where does my information fit into the entire incident? Am I answering the other person’s question? Is this the first time the person has heard this topic or question?

How is my relationship with the other person? Is the subject of the message the cause of the disagreement between us? Is the entire atmosphere tense or harmonious?

Once you answer the above questions, it will be easier to answer the following questions, which will be more helpful than if you jump directly to "What do I want to say?"

4. Content (topic):

What do I want to say? What do I need to say? What does the other party need to know? What information can I omit?

What information must I include to be: clear, constructive, concise, correct, courteous, complete? (This is 6C principles of effective communication)

For example: Our company often holds meetings, which are always very lively. The leader talks about some irrelevant topics. After the meeting is over, we still don’t know what to do and how to complete it. Task. Through the above five items, I first discovered that there was something wrong with the content of her speech, there was no topic or it deviated from the topic. In the end, she had no knowledge and could not achieve the effect of completing the task after the meeting.

If this is the case, we need to check what we said, focus on the main issues, and explain the goals clearly in chronological order, spatial order, importance of things, etc. . Simple and easy to understand.

5. Method (tone and style):

How do I convey my message? Use words, pictures, or both? What kind of text and what kind of pictures?

What communication medium is most appropriate? Written or spoken? An email, a note or a phone call? Letter (email or written mail) or meet in person? Written report (sent online or by mail) or oral report?

How to organize various priorities? Should we use a deductive method (first mention the key points, then explain/example/illustrate), or use an inductive method (first explain/example/illustrate, and then summarize the key points)?

How to achieve the desired results? What tone should I adopt to achieve my goal? What words should I use or avoid to create the right tone?

The place where I work is an adult education institution. When students sign up, we have a rule that students must submit check-in homework after each class. Students who fail to pass the homework will affect the teacher's bonus ratio. .

Something like this happened once:

After putting down the phone, I thought about it carefully and wanted to express my gratitude to Sister Wang, and also to encourage the students in the class: (The following is my A word of thanks in the classroom)

Background: Enter the classroom 5 minutes before class in the evening

Target: Sister Wang, the whole class and the teacher

The above thank you requires four factors, 1. The other person’s name. 2. Specific expression. 3. Tell the place where you were thanked (that is, show sincerity) 4. What help did I get from the other person.

1. When thanking someone, we first address the other person, so that we respect her and value her help.

2. Our expressions are similar to writing articles. When speaking, we must be logical:

For example: when praising the other party's article, don't say that your article is "great" , I can say: Your article is very true, and I am deeply inspired after reading it.

Today’s dress is very “beautiful”. It can be said: Your dress today matches your hairstyle very well, making people’s eyes bright.

Your ability to express yourself is really "good". It can be said: Your ability to express yourself is really good and makes us understand clearly.

3. We need to tell what difficulties or doubts the other party has solved for us, so that our efficiency or ideas have changed and improved.

In our work and daily life, we must pay attention to what tone to use in what situations. For example, after a tiring day at work, we come home and see our children doing crafts instead of studying, so we judge the matter arbitrarily based on the phenomena we see on the surface without asking, and shout loudly at the children. Yelling: "I only know how to play, but I don't know how to study. Whenever I look at you, you are always playing." Wait, before communicating, we must first accurately confirm the information, rather than looking at the problem from our own perspective, and then express our opinions directly , regardless of whether the other party is an adult or a child, everyone hopes to be respected, and then communicate in a tone that is acceptable to both parties. During communication, you must learn to listen effectively, ask and answer questions effectively, and have the other party be willing to continue. Listen to your reasons so that we can communicate smoothly.

3. The importance of listening:

Each of us needs to have the ability to listen. Students need to know how to listen in order to gain knowledge and complete their studies; supervisors need to know how to listen in order to grasp trends, make wise decisions, and maintain employee morale; salespeople need to know how to listen to what customers say; and parents need to know how to listen to what their children say. Effective listening is even a necessary skill in many professional fields such as psychiatry, education, counseling, personnel, etc. In recent years, medical education has also paid more and more attention to the training of listening skills. After all, how doctors make diagnosis is the main source of information from the patient's narrative.

But this does not mean that we should just listen and not speak. As one writer said:

People who listen because they have nothing to say cannot inspire people. The only useful listening is listening that sometimes absorbs the speaker's ideas and sometimes expresses his own.

A good listener will have four major gains:

1. Understand the actual situation of the other party

2. Be compassionate and stand on the side Think about the other person’s perspective.

3. Be courteous and reciprocate. If you listen carefully, the other party will also listen carefully to you.

4. Only sincerity can achieve effective communication and win.

After my colleague left, I was thinking about why I felt so disgusted when she told me a joke. It was because she didn’t listen to me carefully and couldn’t feel my emotions. Problems can’t be solved, but emotions can. She did neither that comforted nor furthered our friendship. So, I felt even sadder.

In my future work and life, I will also encounter others who are in a bad mood and need to talk to someone. If I am the listener, I will listen carefully to others and stand by them. Feel it from different angles, then calm your emotions, analyze the matter, and then discuss how to achieve a good effect. and promote friendships.

No matter what the situation is, only by listening sincerely can the other person feel something, put down their guard and communicate with you. When you think from the other person's perspective, comfort the other person first, and then observe the situation carefully. If the analysis is done well, you will also gain the other party's trust. When effective communication is carried out, things will be resolved smoothly, and the trust of both parties will be increased, emotions and friendship will be enhanced.

No matter what communication method or communication skills we use, only sincerity can be felt by the other party. Therefore, the communication skill is sincerity.