I'm 23 years old today … I'm often laughed at! Because I gave up my head! Like what? Son. Second, review. Connected ... I can't say why! I'm sorry ...

My son has bruises under his eyes, and my mother is very worried. When I heard my son say that there was an unreasonable classmate at school, I said to my son, "You should make friends with him, take this cake, give it to him, shake hands with him and show your friendship." "

The next day, when my son came back, his other eye was bruised. Mother asked with concern, "What's the matter?" The son said, "That guy still wants cake."

Aesop, an ancient Greek fable writer (who lived in the 6th century BC), met a pedestrian one day and asked him for directions. Pedestrian: "How long will it take me to get to the city?" Aesop: "You go wow." Pedestrian: "I really have to go. I mean, how long will it take to walk to the city?" Aesop: "Go! You go wow! " Pedestrians feel that this person is really hateful and leave angrily. After a while, Aesop called him: "Two hours-"The pedestrian asked: "Why didn't you tell me just now?" Aesop, "I don't know how fast you walk, how do you know how long it will take!" " "

In high school, the whole school should wear school uniforms, and some students who repeat classes never wear them. The teacher in charge of this field squats at the door every day to check. One day, the teacher saw that the classmate didn't wear a school uniform and asked him why he didn't wear it. This classmate was furious and said, my mother is not dead. Why should I wear mourning clothes?

A farmer took a donkey to the market and met a rogue in the market. The rogue said, did you eat? The farmer said, no, the rogue said, I asked the donkey, and the farmer turned and slapped the donkey twice, saying that there were relatives in the city without saying anything.

The female mayor and the male secretary * * * went to dinner together. When they were happy, the secretary said: Secretaries have generally been mayors! The female mayor replied shrewdly: Yes, secretaries are generally born (promoted) by mayors!

A hunting dog drove the rabbit out of its nest and chased it for a long time, but still failed to catch it. Seeing this, the shepherd sneered at the hound and said, "The little one between you runs much faster." The hound replied, "you don't know that our running is completely different!" " I just ran to eat, but he ran for his life! "

The boss said confidentially, "Do you want to take a day off? Look at your requirements for the company-you can work 365 days a year.

52 weeks a year, you have two days off every week, *** 104 days, leaving 26 1 day for work.

You are absent from work every day 16 hours. If you subtract 174 days, there are still 87 days left.

You surf the Internet for at least 30 minutes every day, which adds up to 23 days a year, leaving 64 days.

The time you spend on lunch every day is 1 hour, 46 days, 18 days.

Usually you take two sick days a year, so your working hours are only 16 days.

The company doesn't go to work for five holidays every year, and you only work 1 1 day.

Every year, the company generously gives you 10 holiday, which means you have to work 1 day.

Are you taking a fucking vacation today? ! ~~~~___~~~~~ ! ! ! ! ! ! !

A village woman went to town for the first time and wanted to go to the toilet, but she didn't meet for a long time and had no choice but to ask for help.

Xiao Wang walked out of a porcelain shop and accidentally broke a vase. The shopkeeper cried, "Alas, how did you break my vase for more than 500 years?" "Alas," said Xiao Wang with a sigh, "fortunately, I am old."

My nephew was once stopped by the police while driving a speeding car on the highway. The policeman smiled and said to my nephew, "Son, I have been waiting for you here all morning." My nephew replied, "I know, officer." So I came as soon as I could! "

Once, I failed in the exam. The teacher asked me to talk. "... you should work hard, you see how good the performance of so-and-so is. If you want to catch up, you have to surpass it! "Yes, I didn't do well in the exam because I didn't dare to copy it!

In biology class, the teacher asked: How can we correctly distinguish the hands and feet of an octopus? Answer: Give it a fart to smell. Is the hand will cover your nose, and the rest is your feet. The whole class fell!

"They are all taught by the same teacher. Why do some students do well in the exam and some students do poorly? Ah! " The head teacher gave a lecture again after the big exam. A voice came from the corner and the whole class was speechless: "Because the invigilator is different."

The couple are fishing, and the wife is nagging while fishing. After a while, a big fish took the bait. Wife: "This big fish is really poor." Husband: "Yes! As long as it keeps its mouth shut, won't it be all right? "

When the bride was married at home, all the guests left and the new couple entered the bridal chamber. My parents-in-law wanted to have a rest, only to hear the bride shouting in the bridal chamber ... The mother-in-law was helpless and dragged her father-in-law to the door of the bridal chamber: "Wife! The wedding night-this is inevitable-just make do with it! " Unexpectedly, the bride was furious and said, "What a stupid son! He-he-he-he just doesn't like it! I just can't stand it! "

A prisoner was shot because the bullets were made in a fake factory. The first shot didn't go out, and neither did the second shot. Then the third shot and the fourth shot ... The prisoner cried and said, "Brother, you strangle me, it's too fucking scary."

Do what you should do with a clear mind and a weak mood.