Eight jokes, enough for you to laugh all day long

(1)

Chatting with my son one day.

Me: Son, did you know that you cried very hard when you were born? I disturbed your father to death.

My son rolled his eyes at me: Oh, the first time I saw you, I knew I was born in the wrong child. Can I not cry sadly?

Me:...

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(2)

Me: "Mom, I've been a little tight lately."

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Mom: "Then hang up now and save some phone bills!"

Me: "But this is a family account! No money!"

Mom : "Then save some money on the electricity bill. You don't have to spend money on charging!"

Me: "I live in the dormitory and don't pay the electricity bill, Mom!"

Mom: "Oh, then Just save your energy, you’ll get hungry easily if you talk too much.”

Am I your biological child?

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(3)

Male: Master, does my life still have meaning?

Master: What do you do, young man?

Man: I am a prodigal. I drive every day from Dongcheng to Xicheng, from the southern suburbs to the northern suburbs, wandering exhaustedly among many women. Occasionally when I am tired and want to take a rest, they will act like crazy. Call me as well.

Master: Young man, aren’t you just a courier? Do you want to be so awesome? !

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(4)

Today I passed a store called "Grandma Rong".

I went into the store out of curiosity and the owner greeted me enthusiastically and asked: "Young man, are you here for acupuncture?"

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(5)

The husband asked his wife: What flowers do you like?

The wife shyly replied: "I like two kinds of flowers."

The husband asked eagerly: "Which two kinds? I will give them to you."

The wife whispered Said: "If you have money, spend it as you like."

The husband said stupidly: "You are so beautiful."

The wife said: "How beautiful am I."

My husband said affectionately: "What a beautiful thought..."

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(6)

My daughter caught a cold and went to the hospital to get some medicine. medicine.

When I was taking the medicine, my daughter cried and said to me, Dad. Only now do I know what "every grain of medicine is hard work" means.

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(7)

My wife is pregnant and has gained a lot of weight. I said to my wife: I really can’t stand seeing you so fat!

As a result, my wife replied: You, a person who turns rice into shit, how can you have the courage to laugh at a person who turns rice into meat? I was petrified in an instant!

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(8)

Yu invited several classmates to a hotel where they often eat. The restaurant owner asked: "My wife didn't come today?"

A female classmate slapped the table and shouted: "I am his wife! Who is the woman you are talking about?"

The boss was in a hurry Out. The whole table burst into laughter. The man asked her awkwardly why she was making such a joke. The female classmate said, "Just wait for the discount."

After finishing the meal and going to check out, the boss said apologetically: " I really didn’t know that you brought your lover before. I told my sister-in-law that I had the wrong person and I was treating you to this meal. I’m really sorry!