Give me the funniest joke.

Crazy woman, withdraw money from the bank.

One afternoon, my friend was bored at CCB. A lady in shabby clothes (a psychopath) came to his window and gave him a note asking him to withdraw money. The note impressively reads "I hereby send Comrade XX to your bank to withdraw RMB". Then there are more than n zeros after the L, and the signature is * * * C.P Central Office * * *.

My classmate wants to call the police, but seeing that the mentally ill woman is very serious, I think I'd better call security. (~ I guess the security guard is also very idle).

Sure enough, the security guard said to the woman, "If you want to withdraw money from this note, you have to go to the opposite police station and have the director stamp it. After he seals it, you can withdraw money again. "

The woman walked directly to the police station without thinking. This security guard is really unusual. Usually underestimate him a little.

About ten minutes later, the number of customers in line slowly increased, and the woman came back happily, holding a note in her hand and saying, "People say that the procedures are simplified and you can withdraw money directly without the approval of the director."

When my classmate heard this, he couldn't help but sigh that the pol.ice team really had experts, and they were sent back in a "high-profile" way.

My classmate and the security guard were both a little stupid at that time. There are many people in the business hall. I was afraid that her mental illness would affect the normal order, so I had to call the supervisor on duty.

The supervisor talked with the female patient and asked what you were doing with the money. The female patient said, "Take money to buy bread, cakes, food and clothes." The supervisor pointed to a place not far away, and the woman left happily again.

The security guard went to consult the "ingenious plan", and the supervisor said to the female patient at that time: "We are CCB here, and only by building a house can we withdraw money here. If you take money to buy vegetables, it must be vegetables. You have to go to the Agricultural Bank to buy clothes and other things, and you have to go to ICBC to withdraw money! "

My classmates really admire you. After all, you are in charge! ! ! !

…………

…………

After a while, the lady came back with a reply from ICBC: "The people at ABC said that this is ABC, and only farmers can withdraw money. I am an urban population. ICBC people say that we are a public bank here. Only the public can take it, but the mother can't! " ! ! ! Call me a bitch and go to China Construction Bank to withdraw money. "

-

Humorous jokes

1. The old leader sighed. How happy you are! There are ladies everywhere. There were no ladies when I was on a business trip. When I came back, my family of seven crowded together. If I want to make out, I have to sprinkle sugar outside the door and shout: ... "Little friend, I'll hold your mother down and grab the candy!" " ! ! "

2. The earthworm family was bored this day, so the little earthworm cut himself in two and played badminton. Mother earthworm thinks this method is good, so she cuts herself into four sections and plays mahjong. Father earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat. Mother earthworm cried and said, "Why are you so stupid?" You will die if you cut so hard! Father earthworm said weakly. ... I suddenly want to play football. "

4. Race between the tortoise and the hare ... The hare quickly ran to the front ... The tortoise saw a snail crawling slowly ... and said to him: Come on, I'll carry you ... Then ... the snail climbed up ... Soon ... The tortoise saw an ant again ... and said to him: Come up, too ... So the ant came up. When the ant appeared ... he saw the snail on it ... and said to him, Hello! Do you know what the snail said? Snail said: hurry up, this turtle is so fast. ...

5. A man and a woman are eating. Girls keep asking boys: Do you love me? The boy glanced at the girl and went on eating dinner. The girl was very angry and asked, Do you love me or not? The boy finally said: love! The girl asked again, then how do you prove it? Suddenly, the boy took out thirty dollars from his pocket and asked the girl, do you have ten dollars? The girl gave ten yuan to the boy ... The boy put forty yuan on the table. After a while ... The girl was very angry and asked the boy: Do you want to prove that you love me? The boy said: I have been proved! Forty is just around the corner!

6. One night, when a young woman passed a mental hospital, there was a sudden "wow" behind her. The woman turned her head and saw a naked man chasing her. The woman began to run in fear, and the man behind her followed. No, there's a dead end ahead. Desperate, the woman knelt on the ground and cried and begged, "Whatever, just don't kill me." The man smiled cunningly and said, "Really? Then you start chasing me now. "

7. A man went fishing by the river, first wearing a leaf ~ no fish took the bait for a long time, then he changed a piece of bread ~ no fish took the bait for a long time ~ no choice but to change earthworms ~ no fish took the bait for a long time ~ ~ In a rage, he took out a 100-yuan stir-fry and threw it into the water and cursed, "Shit, what do you want to eat! Buy it yourself! "

8. "I can't see things too far away," the patient said to the ophthalmologist. "Please follow me," the doctor took the patient outside and pointed to the sun in the sky. "What do you think that is?" "the sun." The patient replied. "Then how far do you want to see!"

9. One day, a person met God, and God suddenly showed mercy and planned to give that person a wish ... God asked, do you have any wishes? The man thought about it and heard that cats have nine lives. Please give me nine lives. God said: well, your wish has come true. One day, men are idle and bored, for example, let's die. In short, there were nine lives, and he was lying on the tracks ... As a result, a train passed by ... and the man was still dead. Why? -Because the car of that train has 10 knots.

10, today, my little cousin leisurely chased and played with his classmates in the classroom after class ... and then he played with them ... Suddenly, this classmate played a prank and secretly touched his bird ... He was very angry ... humiliated by being touched ... so he cried and went to the teacher (female) at the level ... "Teacher XXX touched my bird" Cousin was angry. I want to give you a lecture face to face ... "Did Mr. XXX ever teach you not to touch other people's things casually ..." The teacher said in a stern tone ... "Don't do this next time, you know?" "My little cousin was very happy before touching ... I didn't expect this teacher to turn around and say" and you "."Did the teacher say it before? You don't care at all. " "Didn't the teacher say that animals or pets can't be brought to school?" "Who told you to bring the bird to school? ""Hand over the bird and the teacher will return it to you after school. "-life is actually very monotonous, so smile more when you have time. Whether you reply or not, I wish the friends who read the post a happy life! ! !

1. Firefly was detained for hooliganism. Fireflies refused to accept: Who discharged? Who streaked? Who has an exhibitionist? I'm not allowed to order the toilet when it's dark?

A robber in new york, USA, said a wise saying when robbing a bank: "Don't move, money belongs to the country, and life is your own!"

2. An electrician walked into the operating room and said to a dying patient wearing an oxygen mask: Hello! Listen, take a deep breath, I need a power outage for five minutes!

One night, a naked man called a taxi, and the female driver stared at him. The naked man was furious and shouted: You have never seen a naked man! The female driver was also furious: I see where the fuck you lost!

There was a patient lying in bed singing. He began to sing on his back, and then he sang on his back again after a while. The dean was puzzled and asked why. He replied: silly, it was side A just now, and now it is side B!

One day, a lion and a bear were in the orchard. . A few days later, the trees near Lion db are longer than those near Bear db. So the bear said a very philosophical sentence: lion shit is better than bear shit ~! ~!