Please tell a few jokes.

Little girl selling grenades

"Buy a Grenade ya Sir, Sir, buy a Grenade ya. 」

A little girl shouted in the snow and didn't sell it for a long time.

She knew that if she didn't sell all the grenades back, she would be beaten by her stepfather.

But the cold wind was really biting, and the little girl curled up in the corner of the street.

She wanted a little warmth, so she started throwing grenades.

The explosion destroyed a big house,

The little girl saw her dead kind grandmother in the firelight.

But the firemen soon put out the fire.

The little girl threw more grenades,

This time, a hospital was bombed and the little girl saw a delicious turkey.

In this way, she threw away all the grenades.

Finally, she saw grandma coming to pick her up. Of course, this is just her illusion.

The man who took her away was actually a policeman.

2.

Dear Teacher Wang,

Hello ~! I wanted to ask for leave, but my father was cut off yesterday for collecting protection money.

I can't find anyone today. Let me make up the number.

Miss Wang, please rest assured that I won't be cut with a knife.

Although I am only a sophomore, I had a fight with Xiao Qiang in the next class last year.

He was in the fifth grade, and I finally dragged him into the hospital for eight stitches, and he was hospitalized 1 week.

At that time, I went easy on you. Dad said, if you find fault with others, you must be ruthless.

So remember my father's advice and send Xiao Qiang to the hospital.

So please rest assured that I won't let you lose face.

By the way, Miss Wang, if someone bullies you, please tell me my name.

My name is in this area. Anyone who listens to it will give me three points.

If they don't give you face, you can give my dad's name and see who dares to touch you.

Miss Wang, I will come back to school as soon as I help my father.

If the headmaster comes and finds me out, don't tell him.

Because my dad was cut by that son of a bitch principal yesterday.

Miss Wang, please don't worry. I remember your words, one step at a time, one knife and one scar.

I won't go easy on you.

If I don't come back within two hours, please ask Mr. Wang to call the hospital.

Call the police. Miss Wang, please believe me, I will return home in triumph.

I must help my father out of this tone, and I believe you will also speak for my father.

My family of six lives on my dad's protection money, and now someone is making trouble. It's time for me to show my face.

And it will cut off my family's financial resources.

I went.

3.

The horror story of renting a house

I used to rent a house for some reason.

The rent of this house is incredible, but after I moved in, I found that people around me always looked at me with strange eyes and pointed at me behind my back.

I was surprised that one day I finally caught the old man at the door and insisted that he tell me the truth.

He said to me, "Before I moved in, there lived a couple here. They have been very good, but one day they quarreled all night for some unknown reason, and they never saw that woman again. And that person disappeared after redecorating the room. 」

Neighbors have noticed that this man always paints the wall in the middle of the night, so they all think that this girl was killed by this man, and then the body was built into the wall. After listening to this story, my back chills.

Back to my residence, I checked everywhere, and finally sat on the bed, staring at a suspicious water stain on the opposite wall.

The more I look at it, the more I feel like a person's shape. Her posture seems to be struggling to get out.

My hair stands on end, so I will fall asleep soon.

In the middle of the night, I had a dream that two lovers were having a big fight. The man strangled the woman with a rope and buried her body in the wall.

I saw the woman struggling in the wall with blood in her eyes, shouting: let me out, let me out! ! ! !

I woke up with a fright. I can't take it anymore. I picked up a screwdriver and went to dig.

Finally, I dug a small hole, and then I saw an eye looking at me. ...

Oh, my God, so it's true. ...

suddenly ...

Eyes into the mouth, and then began to speak:

"Next door, what are you doing digging our wall? ! 」

3.

Take off my clothes quickly

There is a girl as beautiful as flowers and pure as jade,

Because of family factors, she had to live with her single brother-in-law

Usually they pretend to be normal on the surface.

One day, the girl finally could not help it. She called her brother-in-law to her room and said:

"Brother-in-law ... I can't stand it anymore ... I order you to take off my coat now. 』

My brother-in-law did it silently,

She took a deep breath and said, "Now ... take off my coat again. 』

Brother-in-law still does it.

The woman blushed and said, "I took off my bra, too. 』

My brother-in-law hesitated for a while, but he did it anyway.

"So ... it's my underwear." The girl said.

My brother-in-law also took off slowly.

The girl sighed and said to her brother-in-law:

"Well ... brother-in-law! From now on, I forbid you to wear my clothes again, do you hear me? ! 』