What are the top ten most disgusting jokes in the world

The most disgusting joke is that you should watch it after eating.

First, when I was young, it was dishonest to eat. In order to educate me, an old farmer said to me,

There is no food to eat, and the nose excrement you dig out is never thrown away.

Second, there was a rich man looking for a servant. The topic of the interview was to go to the toilet, and the first few came out without washing their hands, so the rich man took them out. The servant replied, "I brought toilet paper today ..."

Third, a man saw a store having a big sale and went in. "What can I do for you? ""I want to buy dog food. ""We have a rule that you must prove that you have a dog. "

" Where is such a rule? ""This is the case with the goods on sale. "The man and the salesman grinded for a long time, but the salesman still refused to sell them to him. There was no way. The man had to go home and bring the dog before he bought the dog food. A few days later, the man went to this store to buy cat food." Give me two boxes of cat food. ""We have regulations, you must prove that you have a cat. "It was the same salesman, and the man dawdled with her for a long time, but he still had to go home and get the cat. ""Just put your hand in and you'll know. "The salesman put his hand in:" What is it? It's sticky. ""I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper. "

Fourth, a man went to visit his grandmother with his friend. While he was talking to his grandmother, his friend began to eat the peanuts on the coffee table and ate them all. When they left, his friend said to her grandmother. Hmm! Alas! Since I lost all my teeth, I can only suck the chocolate on the outer layer of them. When I am old, well ...

5, someone likes the dish "Spicy vermicelli pot" very much. Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that it was sold out. "Is it really sold out?" "He was disappointed to ask." Sir, it's really sold out. You see, the last one was sold to the gentleman at that table. "The waiter replied. The man followed the waiter's instructions and saw a very decent gentleman sitting next to him. The gentleman's food was almost eaten, but the" spicy vermicelli pot "was still full. The man thought the gentleman was wasting delicious food, so he went to the gentleman and pointed to that one. "The gentleman shook his head gracefully. So the man immediately sat down, picked up a spoon and wolfed it down. After a while, he swallowed it in half. Suddenly, he found a tiny mouse lying at the bottom of the casserole. After a while of nausea, the man vomited all the fans he had eaten back into the casserole. When he was there, the gentleman looked at him with sympathy and said,". I was just like this ... "

Six days ago, the hotel owner was patrolling the lobby. A beggar came forward and said," Can the boss give me a toothpick? "The boss gave him one and sent it away. After a while, another beggar came and asked for a toothpick. The boss thought, why does this beggar want a toothpick instead of rice now? I also gave him one and sent it away. Not too old, another beggar came. The boss said to him, "Are you here for toothpicks, too?" The beggar said, "A man vomited, but I was late. The first two beggars ate all the food, and now there is only soup left. Can you give me a straw?

Seventh, Boss, the second child got airsick and kept vomiting. A bag was full, so the boss had to get the bag. When he came back, he found that the whole plane was constantly vomiting. Boss asked the reason. As a result, they all vomited. "

If you see that you haven't vomited yet, I have to admit that you are a master, so I'm going to do my trick.

Eight. Kill skill-

One day, the eldest brother and the second son went to the theater to see the play again, and saw the two arguing about the plot development halfway, and made a bet on it. The eldest brother pointed to a row of spittoons placed in front of them and said So the boss took a sip with a frown. They then bet on the plot below. This time, the second child lost. I saw that the second child picked up a spittoon and drank fifteen gulps. The boss was shocked and admired, and said to the second child, "You are amazing, you can even drink fifteen gulps! "The second shook his head." It's not that I want to drink. The sputum in that spittoon is too thick. I can't stop biting.

1. Is there any food? -

In chemistry class, the teacher explained the relationship between solvent and solute: "A certain solvent can only dissolve a certain solute. For example, if you eat a bowl of rice and another bowl, and the third bowl is full, can you still eat? "

A student asked, "Is there any more food?"

2. Checking calculation -

In the exam, a student took out the dice and shook out ten multiple-choice questions to answer the case. At the end, he suddenly took it out and shook it. The invigilator finally couldn't bear it: "What are you doing?"

the student replied, "I'm checking."

3. Where to go-

One day, a lady called for a taxi. Miss: "Hello! I am at a certain intersection, and I want to take a taxi. "

driver: "What are you wearing?" Miss: "I wear a white coat and a blue skirt."

driver: "where to?"

miss: "to the knee." Driver: ". . . . . 。”

4. People in Egypt and India, oh, don't use toilet paper. Do you know what they are like after they have responded to the call of nature? They cleaned it with their left hand, and then washed it with water. How dirty it is, but every time I pass by a building, I see the queue for buying Indian cakes there is so long that I hide my face and walk over with a smile. You know, it's hard to throw cakes with one hand.

5. You can tell a person by his legs-

In an animal test in a university, the examiner announced the test question: There are ten birds in front of the classroom, each of which is covered with a cloth bag, and only his legs are exposed. Please observe the legs of each bird carefully, and then tell their common names, habits, genera and so on.

A college student observed the legs of every bird, but these birds seemed no different to him. The more he looked at them, the more annoyed he became. He got up and said to the professor, "This kind of exam is so boring. Who can tell birds by their legs?"

The professor was surprised by his words and deeds, and quickly asked, "What class are you in? What's your name?"

Angry college students went to the podium to lift trouser legs up and shouted at the professor, "Guess, guess!"

6. Beggars and Misers-

A beggar came to beg in front of a miser's house.

Beggar: "Please give me a small piece of meat, cheese or cream." Miser: "No!"

Beggar: "Bread crumbs will do."

Miser: "No!"

Beggar: "Then give me some water to drink!" Miser: "We don't even have water."

The beggar was angry: "Then why are you still sitting at home? Come and beg with me! "

7. Captives and horses-

A cavalry was unfortunately captured in battle.

"We will kill all the prisoners." The enemy leader said to him, "But because of your heroic and admirable performance in the battle, I can kill you three days later and meet your three requirements before that." Now, you can ask the first question. "

Without thinking, the cavalry said, "I want to say something to my horse." The leader agreed. So the cavalry went over and whispered a word to his horse. Hearing this, the horse let out a long whistle and galloped away. At dusk, the horse came back with a beautiful girl on its back. That evening, the cavalry and the girl spring night * * *. The leader was amazed: "What a magical BMW!" He said, "However, I will kill you. What is your second requirement? "

The cavalry asked for a word with the horse again. The leader agreed, so the cavalry whispered to the horse again, and the horse roared again and galloped away. At dusk, the horse came back again. This time, the girl on her back was even sexier than the last one. That night, the cavalry and the girl spent another happy night.

The leader is greatly impressed: "You and your horse are an eye-opener, but I will kill you tomorrow. Now you make your last request." The cavalry thought for a moment and said, "I want to talk to my horse alone." The leader felt very strange, but nodded and agreed, and left with his entourage, leaving only the cavalry and his BMW in the tent. The cavalry stared at his horse, suddenly grabbed its ears and said angrily, "I repeat, bring a brigade, not a woman!" "

8. Answer first-

A man went to the bathroom at the rest stop of the expressway. The first room was occupied, so he entered the second room. As soon as he got on the toilet, he heard someone next door say, "Hey, how's it going? Is everything all right?"

The man thought it was strange to talk to people when he went to the toilet, but in order not to be rude, he still managed to answer: Not bad! "

Then, the person next door said," What are you up to? "

The man was even more surprised, but he still replied, "I'm going to Taichung on business."

at this moment, he heard the man next door say, "I'll call you later. There is a psycho next to me. Every time I talk to you, he tries to answer. "

9. Interval Station-

A passenger said to the flight attendant, "I'm going to Dunkas"

The flight attendant said, "This train can't stop in Dunkas on Tuesday, but, man, when we change tracks in Dunkas, the speed will slow down. I'll open the door and you just jump. Although the car doesn't drive fast, you should follow it after you jump, or you will be caught in the wheel. "

When the train arrived in Dunkas, the car door opened. The man jumped off the train and flew forward. Because of his nervousness, he ran all the way to the doors of the first two cars. At that moment, the car door opened and a flight attendant dragged him into the car again. The train resumed its normal speed.

The flight attendant said, "Man, you are lucky. Our train doesn't stop at Dunkas on Tuesday!"

1. Boast-

A farmer boasted to people that his estate was very big. He said, "If I drive around my manor, it will take a week."

A listener said sympathetically, "Yes, I once had such a broken car."

11. Our multiplication formula is very powerful ... Several scientists had a meeting together. Someone asked how much 11 times 11 is. American scientists couldn't wait to move their feet out. China scientists immediately answered 121. American scientists immediately criticized seriously: How can mathematics be fooled? Science is a very serious topic. Then I took out my calculator and pressed it for a long time. It was really 121. I couldn't help but be surprised: Damn, you are so accurate.

12. No matter what car you take, you have to lean against the window. One day, he was going to fly. When he got his boarding pass, he told the lady that he wanted a window seat, but the lady told him that he didn't have it.

after boarding the plane, he casually found a window seat and sat down. Suddenly, a man came and said to him, this is my seat. He said I like this seat, but I just won't let him. The man begged and begged, to no avail, so he said angrily, Well, you can fly the plane! "Turn around and go!