Jokes suitable for children

1, Mom: Son, you have miscalculated this question again. You can't do your homework half-heartedly, so you can be right. Son: Mom, I only have one heart, not three. How can I be half-hearted?

In the morning, I went to my sister's house. My sister looked in the mirror and asked my five-year-old niece, "Is mom beautiful?" The niece said loudly, "Beauty! Mom is so beautiful! " After a while, I saw her mother go to the kitchen and said to me, "Uncle, your sister stinks, is she so fat and beautiful?" At an early age, who learned it from?

One day, little Tom didn't want to go to school, so he pretended to be his father's voice and called the teacher.

Tom: Hello, are you a teacher? My little Tom has a cold and can't go to school. He asked me to ask you for a day off.

Teacher: Who are you?

Tom: It's my father, sir.

4. Once upon a time, there was a farmer. One day, he went barefoot to pick grass on the mountain. He picked it up, accidentally kicked a big stone with his heel and shouted to his parents. However, he immediately congratulated himself and said, fortunately, I didn't wear new cloth shoes today, otherwise, I would definitely kick it.

5. My throat is uncomfortable. I went to the clinic downstairs to get some medicine. When I came in, I saw the child upstairs making a bottle, so I asked him, "Where is your grandmother?" This kid is awesome. He said, "Do you still need a woman to intervene in this small matter?" ! I'm in a big class, and I can do it myself! "The uncle who opened the clinic was happy and said to him," Then you should pay for the infusion bag first. The child looked at him and said, "If you dare to ask me for money, I will tell my grandfather about you and my grandmother!" " ! " "

6. There is a four-year-old baby boy at home. I just saw my husband's wedding photos. I pointed to my husband and asked the baby, who is this? The baby said, "Dad!" "I pointed to myself and asked him, who is this? The baby shouted, "Auntie ..." Alas, the years are really butchering!

7. Tell a joke. A lady came to the children's hospital with a child just a few months old. Male doctor is in charge, background description! After the woman explained the child's specific situation, the doctor put his hand into the woman's arms and squeezed it, saying: the milk is insufficient, please go home and strengthen nutrition! At this time, the woman blushed and said angrily, why didn't you ask and touch? I'm val's aunt. ...

8. One day, Xiao Ming's father gave Xiao Ming two letters, some money and asked Xiao Ming to buy two stamps and send them. Ten minutes later, Xiao Ming came back.

Xiao Ming said: Dad, I sent two letters, which cost only half the money!

Dad was surprised and asked Xiao Ming: How did you send two letters with half the money?

Xiaoming said proudly, I put one letter in another, so I just need a stamp.

9. Father and son are walking on the boulevard. Suddenly, I saw a big black dog barking at them. The son was very scared. He hid behind his father.

Dad said, "Don't be afraid, son. Do you know the proverb' barking dogs don't bite'? "

"I know, dad. But does the dog know this proverb? "

10, in kindergarten, Xiaoming proposed to Xiaoqi: Xiao Qi, you want to marry me when you grow up!

Xiao Qi: No, no, we will never get married!

Xiaoming: Why?

Xiao Qi: Because only people in their own families can get married! You see, my father married my mother ... my grandfather married my grandmother. ...