What are the hilarious differences between mainland Mandarin and Taiwan Province Mandarin?

Text chapters are selected from "Foreigners Talk about China" Author: Guo Ying Publishing House: Writers Publishing House Introduction: Some western students are old-timers of "China hands" and they started a program of "Hate Day" in China. As long as someone meets some unlucky "ghosts" one day, such as waiting in line at the train station for a long time, and finally arriving at the ticket window, they are told that all the train tickets in one week are sold out, can they still buy next week's "ghosts" ... Unlike Hong Kong people who call western women "ghost sisters" and western men "ghost guys", westerners complain that they are discriminated against by race. Chinese mainland's national language is called "national language" by Taiwan Province people. The isolation of the two sides of the strait for half a century has caused some regional differences in the original Chinese national language. I just arrived in Taipei that night and asked for potatoes in the restaurant, but peanuts brought them to me. It turns out that potatoes in Taiwan Province Province are peanuts, and mainland potatoes (potatoes) are called potatoes in Taiwan Province Province. "I don't know" in the mainland population becomes "I don't know" when people in Taiwan Province Province say it. The autumn trousers of mainlanders moved to Taiwan Province Province and became sanitary trousers. As the name implies, autumn is coming. I wonder if people in Taiwan Province Province wear sanitary pants to keep clean? Open the banner on the front page of the Central Daily in Taiwan Province Province, with the title: "Kuomintang meets with the Executive Yuan to review." At first, I was surprised at what major mistakes the Kuomintang and the Executive Yuan made, so that they publicly apologized to the people. Because learning Chinese in Beijing, the so-called review is to reflect on and admit your mistakes. Later, I learned from friends in Taiwan Province Province that the purpose of "review" in Taiwan Province Province is equivalent to "summary" in mainland China. Before foreigners go to China, they must practice several Chinese keywords. The first thing to do is to learn to say, "Where is the toilet?" . Walking on the streets of Taipei, the toilet has evolved into a "dressing room", including a "men's dressing room" and a "women's dressing room". In the mainland dressing room, that's where backstage actors paint. In a restaurant in Taipei, the image outside the men's locker room is marked "Watching Waterfall Building", while the women's locker room is creatively named "Listening to the Rain Building". The "unit" of the mainland has its own social characteristics, and its meaning is broadly the same as that of an independent small society. An employee not only works in his own unit, but also is responsible for his own private affairs such as housing and children's nursery. Once a person is assigned to a unit, his daily life and even his future and destiny are closely related to his own unit. When Taiwan Province residents visited the mainland and heard mainland leaders reprimanding their subordinates, they asked, "Do you still have units in your eyes?" People in Taiwan Province Province mistakenly think that the other party is blind in weights and measures, and they are blind in kilograms and kilometers. People in Taiwan Province Province greet each other politely: "Where do you work?" People in Taiwan Province Province have no work units, whether they are street sweepers or university professors, they are all "highly employed". On the mainland, it is often heard to praise a person's "excellent moral quality". When people in Taiwan Province Province comment on people, they say "quality" instead of "quality", such as "this person's cultivation quality is too poor". In Chinese mainland, quality is a word used to evaluate goods. It is often said that the quality of this electrical appliance is too poor, and so on. For mainlanders, how can a person be of poor quality? Donkey's lips are wrong. However, when I complained to people in Taiwan Province province according to the usage of the mainland: "The quality of this coat is too poor", people in Taiwan Province province fainted. "Does a dress lack morality?" The word "fuck" is commonly used by mainlanders, such as sports, health and sex. When you arrive in Taiwan Province Province, don't talk nonsense about the word "fuck" because it is a derogatory term, meaning "fuck a woman" or "fuck around", and the most commonly used word is "are you kidding". When I first arrived in Taipei, I asked people, "What do you do?" The other party froze for a long time, and then laughed their heads off. People in Taiwan Province Province have only heard of "What kind of woman do you have?" How do you handle your work? Mainland people usually call their spouses "lovers", while Taiwan Province Province calls lovers "lovers". People in Taiwan Province Province said, "This is my lover." The elder brother of Taiwan Province Province was shocked immediately after hearing this, and lamented that the mainland is extremely open now, and underground lovers can be introduced to acquaintances aboveboard. Then mainland friends further praised and said, "My wife went to sea." This made people in Taiwan Province Province almost faint. What? His lover went to sea as # # #. People in Taiwan Province Province don't understand the new term of Shang Chao, and "going out to sea" means doing business independently. However, women in Taiwan Province Province call their husbands "husbands". I didn't understand at first, so I rushed to ask, "Which son is your husband?" Provoked people in Taiwan Province province to laugh their heads off. People in Taiwan Province Province are used to addressing boys and girls. Unlike Chinese mainland, they are both men and women. When I first arrived in Taipei, my ears were deaf. Men and women in their forties and fifties also said sourly, "Other girls." When I blurted out "that chick" in Beijing dialect, people in Taiwan Province immediately laughed and called me a "fake Beijing movie". After staying in Taiwan Province Province for a year and returning to Beijing, my friends in Beijing scolded me again: "What's wrong with you? You are like a soap opera character of' Poor Chatting Aunt' (Qiong Yao). " There is a wonderful joke about Chinese mainland's simplified characters in Taiwan Province Province. On March 8th Women's Day, dozens of female activists held high the banner of "opposing one country and two wives" and demonstrated in front of the "Presidential Office" in Taipei, demanding that the government punish Taiwanese businessmen who keep mistresses in the mainland. All kinds of gossip about Taiwanese businessmen keeping mistresses in Chinese mainland made the former partners who stayed in Taiwan Province province feel uneasy. One of the widely circulated stories is that if Taiwanese businessmen go whoring or adopt mistresses in the mainland and are caught alive by the police, mainland officials will punitively stamp their passports in Taiwan Province Province with a black seal of "# # #". "# # #" Taiwanese businessmen were afraid that they would not be able to explain to their families after returning to Taiwan, so they had a brainwave and added the word "fire" in the middle of "# # #", which became a "fire-slut". After entering the room, my wife asked why the passport had the official seal of "Firefly", and the well-prepared Taiwanese businessmen plausibly said, "That is a commemorative medal for watching fireflies in the mainland." My wife asked me inexplicably, "Hey, how is this' lewdness' instead of' firefly'?" Taiwanese businessmen immediately screamed and said: "Look, you are rarely strange. This is a simplified Chinese character for the mainland. I saw it this time. " (Editor: Zhao Yan) The article is taken from Foreigners Talking about China. Author: Guo Ying Publishing House: More articles from Writers Publishing House enter the book excerpt channel >>& gt.