Where is the funniest joke?

Personally, the jokes here are not bad:

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A couple rented a house off campus. During the summer vacation, MM went to other places for an internship, while GG still lived in his room. MM returned from her internship and found the room very dirty. Obviously, she hasn't cleaned for weeks, so she cleaned it carefully. GG came back at night and asked, "Why is the dust on the table gone? Remember the phone number above ... "

There is a student in HKUST who will graduate from his senior year soon and still has no job or girlfriend. So he went to tell a fortune. "You will be poor to forty years old ..." The student's eyes lit up and he felt that there was a turn for the better, so he asked, "Then what?" "Then you can get used to this kind of life ..."

In the dining room, two lovers met at a distance, and the girl ran to the boy, panting and hugging him tightly, saying, "Hurry up, hurry up, I can't stand it ..."

The boy panicked and stammered for a long time: "Come on ... come on! In fact, everyone is looking at us ... We ... We haven't done anything yet ... "

The girl pushed the boy away and said angrily, "Are you embarrassed? Zip your pants in front of so many people? Don't lose my face? "

Only heard a "jingle", everyone's lunch box spoons fell all over the floor, and many boys waiting below wiped their mouths. ...

The mobile phone is in arrears. I call 1860 to ask how to pay. Answer: Sorry, your phone is out of service. For details, please consult 1860.

People ask me what men should pursue. I replied: money and beauty. So people began to despise me. ...

People ask me again what men should pursue? I said: career and love! So, people began to worship me. ...

There is a school where men's and women's toilets are adjacent. One day, a girl forgot to bring paper to the toilet. At this time, a mobile phone was handed over next door. The girl was very surprised and asked in a low voice, "Who?" A male voice replied, "Please vote for Jane Zhang!"

A student published an article on a page in Shui Mu, entitled "Recent Arrangements for Tsinghua University to Maintain party member's Advanced Education Activities". The moderator of this page replied: Please don't pollute the page, otherwise the article will be deleted and the ID will be blocked. Thank you for your cooperation!

Although I support your right to speak, I will never agree with you.

The reason why we chose the zoo for the first party in our university is that only here can we feel that we are still individuals …

Studying medicine is hard and tiring, and the cost of studying medicine is quite expensive; All cells and tissues should be memorized, and everyone should be able to dissect and kill people.

One hand and one knife, whoever refuses me is disabled. Not afraid of zombies, it doesn't matter how much the dead watch.

Sleeping at night without a wife and body, eating more human brains can appetize!

It is said that thousands of years ago, both male and female dogs were squatting when urinating.

It was not until the Tang Dynasty that the situation changed. ...

Everyone has heard of Emperor Taizong! His old man keeps a pair of Beijing dogs. On one occasion, Emperor Taizong went to Huashan to worship heaven and brought this pair to. ...

Halfway through the sacrifice, the bitch suddenly felt anxious and ran behind a tree to solve it.

This is a very disrespectful act when offering sacrifices to heaven, which angered the jade emperor.

The Jade Emperor ordered Lei Gong to hit a thunder, and the thunder hit the tree just right. The tree fell and killed the bitch. The male dog was very scared when he saw it. ...

From then on, every time the male dog urinates under the tree, he will put out a foot and push it hard against the tree.

In case the tree falls by itself. ...

One night. ......

Xiaoming couldn't sleep, so he decided to go out for a walk ... so he walked on the highway near his home. ...

Unfortunately, I was raided by the police ... Xiaoming was called over for questioning.

The police asked Xiao Ming why he took to the highway, and after asking, he gave him a ticket ... which read

1. Not wearing a seat belt

2. Driving without a license

3. The speed is less than 60 miles per hour

Doctors in mental hospitals,

One day, at the meal time of three mental patients.

I want to test whether these three patients are getting better.

So he ordered the nurse to bring "feces" to the patient for dinner today.

But I am deeply afraid that the stench of "feces" will make it difficult for patients to swallow.

So "cow dung" was adopted.

Three patients in three different observation rooms,

Doctors came into the room one after another to watch.

The first room opened,

The patient said, "Wow! Doctor, today's meal is delicious. 」

The doctor said nothing, shook his head and went to the second room.

The patient in the second room also ate with relish,

The doctor thought it was hopeless and went to the third room in disappointment.

As soon as he came in, the doctor was taken aback. He found that the third patient had not started eating.

At this time, the patient said, "Doctor! This is cow dung.

The doctor walked out of the door happily, ready to contact the family for the patient.

Unexpectedly, the patient said, "you know I can't eat cows ... give me a pig." 」

Lao Li went to visit his new neighbor next door. The neighbor said, hello, my last name is Bai.

Lao Li asked: Miss Bai, where do you work? ?

Mr. Bai said: I am a logician.

Lao Li asked: Logic? What is that? ?

Mr. Bai said: actually, it is very simple. Do you have a dog?

Lao Li: Yes, it's still a big wolf dog.

Mr. Bai: You have a dog, so logically, you have a dog house! ?

Lao Li: That's right.

Mr. Bai: Well, if you have a dog and a kennel, then you have children! ?

Lao Li: Exactly!

Mr. Bai added: You have a dog, a kennel and children. Logically, you should get married! ?

Lao Li: I have been married for a long time!

Teacher Bai concluded: From the above, you should be heterosexual. This is logic!

Lao Li: Oh ... I see. Sounds interesting.

A few days later, Lao Li chatted with Lao Zhang, a neighbor who lives across the street.

Lao Li said, by the way, the one who just moved here is a logician.

Lao Zhang asked: What is that occupation? ?

Lao Li said that it is very simple. Do you have a dog? ?

Lao Zhang said: You know I don't have a dog!

Lao Li said: Oh, so you are gay!

There's a psycho,

Patient A went to a mental hospital and said to the doctor, "I am Napoleon."

Doctor: "Who told you that? 」

Patient A: "It's God."

Then the patient behind the doctor said, "I didn't tell you!" " Lying again. "

At this year's temple fair,

There are many lanterns hanging in the temple.

All kinds of grotesque lambs. ....

Then, a mother took a child to see the lanterns.

When they walked under an ugly sheep,

The child looked at the lantern and said:

"Shit! 」

A group of us were shocked!

Alas, today's children, probably in kindergarten, actually swear, good or bad ~!

Unexpectedly, his mother said, "put the horse away." This year is a lamb. 」

On weekend nights,

An old couple walked slowly into McDonald's. They ordered a hamburger, French fries and a coke and found a corner seat to sit down.

The old couple seems to be out of place with other young men and women.

People around you can't help secretly looking at them, thinking:

"Wow, they say less eighty years old! 」

"Maybe married for more than fifty years. 」

"Think about how many ups and downs they have experienced together in this life ..."

Everyone saw the old man take food out of the tray.

First, carefully tear the hamburger in half.

Carefully count the French fries one by one and divide them into two equal parts.

Then she took a sip of coke and handed it to the old woman, who also took a sip.

In this way, everyone watched the old man eating his half hamburger and coke.

The old woman watched him eat quietly. Her own half didn't move.

If the old man takes a sip of coke, the old woman will take another sip.

A young man couldn't stand it any longer, so he walked up to them.

Politely offered to buy another meal for them.

The old man declined politely: "thank you, no need, we always share everything." . 」

In this way, the old man continued to eat his hamburger chips.

The old woman watched him eat quietly. If the old man takes a sip of coke, the old woman will take another sip.

The young man went over again and asked them to allow him to buy them another meal.

This time, it was the old lady's turn to say, "No thanks. We always share everything. 」

But as you can see, the old woman didn't touch a bite of food.

Just watch the old man eat and drink that coke alternately.

The young man had no choice but to go to their table for the third time.

The old woman asked, "Madam, why don't you eat?" You said you always shared everything. What are you waiting for? 」

The old woman looked up at the young man.

Answer slowly:

"Ah .............................................................................................................................................................................."