Jokes about Monday to Friday

1, if marriage is the grave of love, then-blind date is to look at feng shui as the grave, confession is to dig the grave, marriage is a martyr-love, empathy is to move the grave, and the third party is a thief-grave.

2. Two villagers, Lao Zhang and Lao Wang, went to the village committee to do business and saw a banner hanging on the wall, which read a famous motto: "A person's life is either burning or decaying." Lao Zhang didn't understand what this meant, so he asked Lao Wang, "What does this mean?"

Lao Wang explained: "Burning is cremation, and rot is burial."

It's best not to criticize others on Monday, because most people have depression on Monday, and it's best not to criticize others on Friday, so as not to ruin each other's weekend mood.

My children have lived in Beijing for many years and have never been from Beijing, but my dog is a Beijing dog because it has a Beijing hukou.

I have lived half my life, and I don't even have a secret. A sneaky face is a waste.

6. Online games are a puddle on the roadside. Someone bypassed it, someone jumped in and climbed out, and someone squatted inside.

7. I am willing to face it with the mind of the sea, bask in the sunshine of South Africa, and spend it with Gates' dollars every day.

8. Unless it is really necessary, ordinary people usually don't need to buy four digits like 8888-otherwise people will think you are selling cards.

9. At a luxury goods sales meeting, a man stood in line with a suitcase and was stopped by the security guard: "Sir, we are only allowed to bring wallets in." The man opened the box and said, "Excuse me, this is my wallet ..."

10, at the entrance of the cemetery, a man asked, "How much is the paper house?" The stall owner replied: "20 yuan!" "So expensive! Didn't you just spend 15 yuan last year? " "House prices have gone up!"

1 1. Xiao Li is sitting in front of the TV watching entertainment news, and there is a bowl of instant noodles and several wedding invitations on the table next to it. After watching it for a while, he suddenly patted his thigh and sighed and said, "Alas, if half of those guys were as low-key as these stars, my life would be higher!" " "