Chen Fangyi: A woman needs at least four husbands.

Editor Chen Fangyi.

Xiao Zhang? Collection type

Chen Fangyi

Founder of international talent development system

I don't understand what women really want.

Recently, Zhao's divorce triggered people's discussion on the topic of marriage.

The ending of some marriages is taken for granted. Her husband is violent and prone to loud noise and quiet. Her husband doesn't want to make progress, and he gets paid to brush the king every night?

There are also some marriage endings that people who eat melons are puzzled: her husband is rich and kind, and her husband's family is also very kind to her. How does the marriage envied by outsiders end? Is this woman too dissatisfied?

These speculations about other people's marriage outcomes actually come from an anxiety: the anxiety of not knowing what women really want.

Uncover the "world problem"

There was once a joke that a scholar who studied women deeply tried to solve the biggest puzzle in history: "What do women want?"

Later, he claimed that he finally found the ultimate answer, so he held a million-dollar class in a six-star hotel. Although it is expensive, many people are willing to spend it if they can understand what women really want.

After the grand opening ceremony, he said: You came here today just to listen to me. Throughout the ages, many heroes have puzzled questions. Today, I will solve the mystery for you. What do women really want?

The answer is: whatever a woman says she wants, just add the word now to the front.

If a woman says I like you, please change it to I like you now;

If a woman says I don't want children, please change it to I don't want children now;

If a woman says I want children, please change it to I want children now. ......

This will solve everyone's questions about women and women's questions about themselves.

Why women are hard to please is because women themselves are very complex creatures.

Relatively speaking, it is relatively easy to satisfy a man: sex, money and power.

The above three items are easy to solve, but when a man really cares about a woman and wants to know what the woman really wants, the problem comes.

A friend of mine once said semi-wryly, "Every woman needs at least four husbands. This is my experience in dealing with women for many years. "

I was particularly surprised when a man said such a thing, so let him explain. The following is his experience sharing.

Women lack these four kinds of husbands.

Women's needs are so complicated that almost no man can completely meet all the needs of a woman, and even many of them are in conflict with each other in essence, so at least four husbands are needed to take turns.

First of all, the first husband was about love and lust.

Without a woman's inner desire for vigorous love, a woman longs to be desired.

A woman wants her body to be desired and her charm as a woman to be desired and wanted.

If in a relationship, a woman feels that her body, existence, personality and so on are no longer desired by the other party, and she no longer feels that there is a desire for herself in the other party's sight, just like a flower has lost its admirer.

The second husband is the breadwinner, that is, the breadwinner.

He should be committed, responsible, capable, able to support a family and provide a woman with the material security she needs.

The third husband is a caregiver. He can handle the housework.

Take the female friends of our company after 90 s and 00 s as an example. Almost all the cooks at home are boyfriends, so the housework skills of girls raised by rich people are unnecessary.

There is still a lot of work at home, the toilet is broken, cockroaches, furniture is missing a foot, and even children are needed. These also need men.

The fourth husband is a close friend.

What is more luxurious is soul mate. Even if the soul can't vibrate at the same frequency, at least it should be able to talk and exchange inner thoughts like friends.

Therefore, anyone who wants to be 100% sure whether this marriage can succeed or not and how long it can last before entering the marriage is unfounded.

Because women's needs will change with time, the nature of a relationship will also change. What is the relationship to meet each other's needs will also change over time.

Of course, the most beautiful relationship can keep pace with the times, grow synchronously with the changes of people's needs, and contain different levels.

Plato divided love into two levels:

The first level is animal. Partners crave each other's bodies, but after the hormones fade, people will get tired of the familiar bodies.

Therefore, if we only stay in animal nature, this relationship will certainly not last long, especially after modern people have satisfied their economic life and paid more attention to their spiritual needs.

So, after many years of carefree life, Mrs. Fu found that her husband was busy with work all year round, and he didn't accompany and pay attention to her days at all.

Suddenly, Mrs. Fu went to a yoga class or a physical and mental class and met a man with gentle eyes and steady voice, and the man looked at her eyes intently when he spoke! So I dropped it.

Another level is to fall in love with each other's spirit and soul and enter the spiritual level. This is the way to sublimate a relationship from animality.

If you just stay in animal nature and appreciate the beauty of each other's flesh and blood, you will be exhausted after a period of time, and it is very easy to replace the old body with a new body (dating software is also working now).

Go back to "What do women really want? What do women want from a relationship? First of all, we must accept that there is no standard answer to this question.

This answer is constantly changing at different stages of any woman's life.

Accept this, accept that we can only figure out what we want now, which is the most basic understanding that women should have of themselves.

What you want most now is the guarantee of material life, or intense love, or warm companionship at home, or vibrant dialogue and friendship?

If a man and a relationship can meet at least the above two needs, then he is already an ideal object, and you can find other ways to meet the other two needs.

Dear woman, list the priorities of your current needs! If you could only choose two out of four, what would you choose?

At the same time, no matter what answer you choose, it is only your current answer.

10, 20 years later, what will you choose when you successfully cultivate your child into a person who has made positive contributions to society? That's not what you have to think about now.

As Gestalt psychology has constantly emphasized: "Contact and encounter are the contact and encounter with the inner true self and real needs at all times."

You don't judge and ask what you want to transform yourself into, and you don't judge and ask what you want to transform each other into.

Constantly meet your inner true self, constantly meet your true counterpart, make your relationship with yourself more and more complete, and your life will tend to be complete.

Even though we still can't answer "What do women want most in this life?" At least now we can really answer what I want most.

Let the truth of this moment lead you to the truth of the next moment, and cherish everything that the present relationship gives you.