Joke Collection Website - Joke collection - Seeking the same person as the king of the net-the four wonders of glass on the cloud.
Seeking the same person as the king of the net-the four wonders of glass on the cloud.
One day, my brother took my sister to visit my father's good friend (the professor who recommended Liuli for admission). After a brief greeting and a little in-depth understanding, both sides are very satisfied with each other. The professor thinks it's very good. It's possible that he didn't recommend the wrong person. I will agree to the recommendation because I can't say no because of my friend's repeated entreaties. But I am still uneasy and ready to smash my signboard for decades. On-the-spot investigation shows that this little girl is smart, polite, articulate (peach blossom: normal people speak clearly ...), loves doctors from the heart, and knows some basic medical knowledge. Let's just say that old friends are pure prodigies. Where can he pick a messy person to go home? He would never want someone who is not smart and beautiful, and someone who is a little smarter will definitely consider it. (Peach Blossom: The more I listen to it, the more I feel that Dad on the cloud looks like a trafficker ...) Coupled with the serious character of my old friend, I will never joke about my reputation and that of my friends. He still values his friendship very much. Taohua: You think too much. ...
Liulizi is also very satisfied. This professor is good. He looks like a pedant, but he is not a pedant. He is humorous, knowledgeable and bald. Not the kui is a well-known professor, really good, good image and connotation. As the saying goes, you can know the world by looking at a leaf, so must HF, full of academics, but not rigid pedants. Academically, it must be full of innovation and the campus must be beautiful. Don't waste yourself flying all the way, give up the comfortable days at home and come here to study.
In short, the more we talk, the better the atmosphere, and the host and guest are happy.
During the conversation, the professor's wife and the professor's twins came back. Twins are quite long, and both parents have advantages. Although he is only ten years old, he is already quite a beautiful boy, and he can foresee the elegant demeanor when he grows up.
The twins rushed into the living room and saw our dull children sitting on the sofa. It is said that after being carefully fed by Yun Shangjia for such a long time, the beauty inherited from her mother has been fully revealed. You can also boast that our quicksand children are too long and have not touched the shortcomings of real families at all. Two watery eyes, two pink faces and watery lips are simply beautiful. The twins are brothers who like beautiful things very much. Almost at the same time, they let out a cry of "Ah ~" and ran towards our dull children. Although they were blocked by the big brother on the cloud and couldn't reach the beautiful little man, they still focused on the glass. "Oh my god, this sister is so beautiful! Dad, where did you cheat? " Peach Blossom: Two little perverts! Twins: despise you! We call it the love of beauty. Everyone has it. )
"Cough ~" The professor gave a dry cough. "Son, this is the daughter of my father's friend. I told you yesterday that she would come. "
The twins raised their voices. "No ~ dad, you're lying! Yesterday, you said that a girl was going to study in HF, and you worried that she was an illiterate idiot every day. But today is obviously a sister, or a smart and beautiful sister. " With that, they gave their dear father a contemptuous look. This kind of lie is too clever. What a beautiful girl ~ twins sigh in their hearts for the tenth, eleventh and more times.
As for the brother and sister, they decided to filter out what they had just heard. If you have an account, you should calculate it slowly. It is wrong to clean up on the spot!
The professor's wife's hands are itchy, too. She wants to hug such a beautiful little person in her arms, rub it and kiss it twice. But this is absolutely impossible. You can tell by the young man next to him that he is a sister-in-law. So, she's in control. She must be calm. She believes that there is still plenty of time and she will never be able to show her true colors today.
The professor had to adjust his face, and the twins gave away the clues, but the explanation was tantamount to covering up and could only explain something. He is very serious and makes a guarantee with his research attitude. "Son, dad can guarantee that. This is really my sister, but my sister looks … hmm ~ cute. "
The twins studied their father's expression and finally believed the fact. "Oh ~ This girl is too young."
The glaze is stuffy and the heart is crazy. How long is this foreign child? Fully two heads taller than him. A ten-year-old praised me for being young.
The elder brother who is distressed by his sister can only secretly pat her on the back, giving a little talk is better than nothing. I was thinking in my heart, this Martian family is terrible, and I must stay away from it in the future. Even the professor's wife who pretends to be a professor is absolutely duplicitous, and the jokes are much worse than her mother. If one day my sister is alone, it will be … terrible!
After chatting for a while, the topic developed in a strange direction.
One of the twins, "Little Sister, I heard that you know China Kung Fu, right?"
Coloured glaze child's blood began to boil. Just call sister and swallow the little one back. It's a little hard to resist PIA's impulse
The twins' eyes began to shine. "I heard that you are a master!" "
"Yes, the master is not."
But the twins obviously only listened to what they wanted to hear. They started talking and looked happy. "Oh, I finally meet the living master."
Alive ... sunken glass.
One of them continued to sigh with emotion, "I heard that people who are particularly good at kung fu in China are young, or rejuvenated." The second nodded in agreement. "No wonder my little sister is so small."
Crane hair and child's face? I'm not old … I'm still young …
The twins' eyes shone like wolves and their voices were very excited. One of them asked, "Little Sister, can you fly over the eaves, walk on the wall and point at it from a distance?"
You read too many novels. ...
Second, "Little Sister, will you break a big stone in your chest?"
"。 . . . . . . . . . . 。"
"Cough ~ Baby, don't you think it's a little cruel for my sister to break a big stone in her chest?" The professor's wife gently persuaded her precious son.
Second, I am depressed and relieved. "Well, it's really difficult for you to break the big stone in your chest." The twins scanned the glass from head to toe. "You can always split bricks with one hand, right?" They have made a helpless concession.
"。 . . . . . . . . . . . 。"
The slim figure of the professor's wife burst into great potential, picked up her son in one hand and rushed to the second floor.
"Cough ~" The professor coughed. "Well, I'm sorry."
The professor shrugged helplessly. "You know, I grew up watching Bruce Lee's movies. I always thought that China people all over the street would fly over the eaves and walk on the wall, and they must carry weapons in and out. "
"。 . . . . . . . . . 。"
"Later I went to China only to find that this is not the case. I will also show Bruce Lee's movies and other kung fu movies to the children, and take them to Chinatown to see ... the broken stones in the chest and the bricks with empty hands ... "
"。 . . . . . . . . . 。" Very good, very powerful!
Fanwai 27S(E $ J "b;; ~: G% W5
J
A very short meal
Liuli's study has officially started. Today is her first class. She arrived at the classroom almost half an hour early and became the first student to enter the classroom. She goes back and forth in the classroom, left, right and left. Very good, very good, bright and clean, good lighting and ventilation. When she picked a seat and was ready to sit down, she was angry and lifted the stool. What a bully!
The stool is actually slightly higher than her waist. At this time, she couldn't wait to stare through the stool. TNND, at least let me step on a brick. After her anger, she had to accept her fate reluctantly. Look around, ok, no one has come yet. Embarrassed, I climbed onto the stool and shook my short legs hanging in the air. Self-centered in the classroom to Fiona Fang Shri to distribute resentment. Starting from tomorrow, I will bring a bench every day, and then I will step on it.
People who came into the classroom one after another looked curiously at the children sitting in the middle of the classroom. Children are really cute, but their faces stink and the air is full of resentment. Everyone sat in seats a little far away from the children, and as a result, there was a vacuum next to the glass. (The author asks: Why sit far away? Student: Can't you see the children's faces are so smelly? I cried later. What if people think I'm bullying people? We are great young people. )
Besides, the professor we have today. This man is 70 years old and is an excellent teacher who was re-employed from school. His teaching attitude is rigorous and serious. He came to the classroom fifteen minutes early, got everything ready, and then sat waiting for class time. Of course, he also noticed our little dull friend. The professor can't help shaking his head in his mind. "Now the social atmosphere is getting worse and worse. The children in the first year are so old, not as old as us. We must advocate late marriage and late childbirth, or we will have to take care of our children in class. It is irresponsible! "
The professor called the roll, ordered it again and again, and then pointed to "glass, on the cloud?"
"here!" Coloured glaze child raised his hand.
The professor can't lift the table in his heart. It's too bullying. Thunder, "coloured glaze, on the cloud! The usual score is deducted by 20! "
Coloured glaze children were shocked by this sentence, so overbearing! Being bullied again! Why? Why? Even if I am a porcelain, it is also a brick, which can break other people's front teeth. Don't bully a child like you!
But our glass is a good boy. She always respects teachers and pays attention to teaching. She didn't shout it out on the spot. She raised her right hand politely. "Professor, why?"
The professor is pulling reading glasses, and his heart is burning with anger. I am presbyopia, I am not blind! Don't bully the old man like this! Even thick lenses can't stop the anger in his eyes. "You go back and tell your parents to find someone to change it for me next time." If you dare to come again, I will fail him (her)!
"……"
Fan 3
I am a student of HF Medical College. When I entered HF with a yearning heart, I thought it was the happiest and proudest thing for me for so many years. But I found the reality is cruel, and then I spent a few years here that I will never forget. My mind has been thoroughly washed here.
I came to the classroom early in the first class. I thought I would be the first person to arrive, but when I stood at the door, I found someone arrived earlier than me. A little girl is struggling to climb the stool. It's so cute ~ I really want to take out a piece of chocolate and go to Doby to watch her shake her calf in mid-air. I stood at the door until someone appeared behind me. I went into the classroom to find a back seat and continued to secretly observe her.
I've been thinking, which student's child is it? Or which teacher's? Or was it just a child who broke in by mistake? I'm confused. She put the stationery books on the table one by one, then stuffed the small green schoolbag into the desk cavity, and finally turned it over with a thick book in her arms. Suddenly feel very interesting. This child is really cute. It's really cute for children to play the old man. It seems that there really is a chocolate in my bag … but the little girl's face really stinks. Will she cry when she is teased like my eight-year-old niece Martha?
When the professor started the class, the little girl closed her book and put her hands on the table. I can see the girls around me with pink bubbles on their foreheads. It's so cute ~ just like kindergarten children sitting in a row eating fruit ~
When the little girl raised her right hand to answer, the professor was angry ~ a blazing flame burned in his eyes. I shook my head in my heart, so bullying the professor! Kindergarten talents find kindergarten people to substitute for classes. Bullying the professor has a bad eye. At least you should find a junior high school student.
With the little girl's clear pronunciation word by word, "Professor, I'm a freshman in XX of HF Medical College, Shangyun!"
Ce Monde est Fou ...
Our hearts are sad, and gifted children can't be such children. She is in our classroom, and we have a shadow in our hearts ... medical students are sad ~
But as adults, we should face everything with a broad mind. Gifted children are also children, especially such a pink and tender little girl, who is so weak and far away from her relatives to study in a foreign country. The bitterness is beyond our understanding. We must love her, protect her and take care of her.
Of course, we are not the only ones who are sad. When the little girl walked into the library with a backpack, a ponytail and children's clothes, the world of this book was really quiet ... until the little girl walked away, there was a whispering voice, "We enjoyed the kindergarten resources next door. * * *? ..... "When she buried herself in the library every day for a month and read one tome after another, including criminal psychology and anatomy, the whole school was sad ~
In the anatomy class, groups of students were killed by the subjects. Some of them rolled in their stomachs, others vomited in the corner, and others fainted directly into the infirmary. The little girl always smiles. As a member of the same group, I patted my chest and told her, "Never mind, don't be afraid of me." When I tried to resist the discomfort in my stomach, she neatly skinned and boned these creatures in front of me. ...
My facial nerve is out of control ... the classmate who vomited twitched directly ... there is a long queue in the psychological consultation room. ...
When she pointed to an exposed person with X addiction in front of her, she took out a black pepper spray to prevent wolves and sprayed it on that person's XX. We already feel that this is how the world becomes a crab.
When she kicked a seed player of XX College who lacked martial arts and seriously injured a medical student in an inter-school martial arts competition, we all sighed in our hearts,' We are all too weak!'
When she won the special scholarship, we could only sigh, it was so hurtful. ...
When she went directly to graduate school after her junior year, we were injured again. ...
When my mother pointed to the person who was invited to take pictures in my graduation photo and sighed with me, "Your professor's child is so cute ~", my heart was already numb. ...
But in fact, we already admire her. But, but, son, why can't you grow up and let our hearts not be too hurt ~
Fan 4
Big brother article
I only have one younger brother named Zhi Zhi. After giving birth, the mother can't have any more children because of physical reasons. For this, she has been very sorry. She really wants a daughter. To tell the truth, I think this idea of hers is very good, and I also want a lovely sister. The conscience of heaven and earth is really not lovely. People's younger brothers are all pink and tender, and they will call them brothers with milk. But what about him? I grew up with a smelly face and a bad temper. Every time I want to Doby him like my big brother, his roar is totally inversely proportional to his small size, which makes me feel depressed. Why can't he blush or be shy occasionally? Of course, in the future, his size is proportional to his roar, and I am even less interested.
Of course, I still like teaching him. After all, he is my brother. No, everyone in our family is very conservative. Everything in your house, even the broken bricks in the corner, is so disgusting that people you pass by dare not give it a dirty look. Otherwise ... you'd better be careful that the bricks on your wall are all broken!
I feel that I am a good brother with a generous attitude. When Zhi Zhi first got into a fight with the hooligans nearby (of course, she was beaten at first), her mother was blue in the face and smelled bad? After dinner, I threw it into a martial arts class the next day. When you make progress in your study, go to those hooligans to learn from them. Then repeat the process of being beaten, being scolded at home and changing martial arts classes. He taught very well until he learned many kinds of martial arts, and finally won and went home with a pig's head face. I slowly walked out of the corner and "exchanged feelings" with these hooligans! Which one of you bastards hit my brother, where and how many times, I remember clearly every time.
So, even if my brother is not cute, I love him!
Until one day, my mother said she would bring back a sister. I'm happy, I can see it, and I'm happy to teach it. The moment I saw her, my brow wrinkled without a trace. Hay-like hair, thin and morbid, although her eyes are beautiful and aura, they really don't look cute, and any normal person will feel sorry for her. I smiled and felt a little disappointed. Teaching is very direct. I can't help it People are all visual animals. But since both parents like her, she should be excellent. Maybe? Personality charm?
She's really nice. How can I feel sorry for her? Poor man, stupid man, stupid man who doesn't know what treasure he has lost! In fact, Liuli should be my child, but God made a small mistake and kept her in the wrong place for more than ten years.
She forgot that she had spoken Japanese for more than ten years and kept her mother's mother tongue firmly in mind. Fortunately, she returned to her "real home". If she can't communicate with others, and once again enter the real Tian Jia's hell, will she still be so lucky to survive? We study Japanese with her. No matter how witty she was afterwards, I can still remember that she followed my mouth and babbled, and the first soft and waxy "brother!"
My brother's voice made my heart jump ... I felt a warm feeling in my heart.
Coloured glaze is very clever, but it makes people feel distressed. Thirteen-year-olds are as resourceful and thoughtful as adults. So she can survive in the den of tigers and wolves ... but our glass is a good child, how can it have so many good qualities?
Thick medical classics seem to be painless, and the experience written often makes us nod and praise. Liuli is a real medical genius. Although she has been called smart since she was a child, I know her talent is amazing!
The best quality is the insidious care of our family! No, it's cleverness plus justifying a fault! The way she treats Masada Yaying is really ... speechless. We always knew that she loved everyone. Just because I love her, I take everything down, and I don't want my family to conflict with the real family for her. Afterwards, her parents severely scolded her. Although I was distressed to see her scolded, I still sat there with a smile and watched her nod for mercy. It's really cute for my sister to nod her head like a quail!
My heart is really warm! Because I love you, I will be scolded so obediently. Even though he was scolded, he still smiled with his head down. Sister is really good! It's good to have a sister who loves us wholeheartedly!
While feeling our luck, we mocked Maeda's stupidity. In fact, the real family is not as beautiful as it used to be. There is no need to cling to an empty shell, which is full of holes. How important a good heir is to them. Unfortunately, Father Makita was wise all his life, but he was blind when he was old. In fact, we regard our baby as gravel, guarding a pile of rotten wood and dreaming the long-term dream of our family.
The eldest grandson is just a lump of mud, he can never help the wall, and he will always be a fool led by the nose. It's still possible to get married with that face. Sanada Genichirou is a lump in the elm, and his brain will never turn. Such a person will be a good helmsman in prosperity, honest and fearless, not afraid of others, but not enough to turn the tide in decline.
My father sorted out Liuli's information and some experiences she wrote while reading medical books, and sent them to his friends. HF sent the admission notice soon. We are all proud and proud, but I am a little angry with my father. Yes, Liuli is very wise. She can take care of herself. But how can our little sister not bear the pain of being in a foreign country, even if many adults can't bear it? She who is sensible will only tell us that she is fine and everything is fine. Hide all the frustrations and loneliness in life.
I quickly finished the formalities and set off with Liuli. I told her that I was going to HF for a year's academic exchange. She was happy but guilty. She knows I'm taking care of her But she is really a silly girl! I won't leave in a year. Let the old man go to the hospital alone.
After the discussion, I packed my things in a hurry, and the laughter of my friends was higher and higher. Picking and choosing in the supermarket, my sister's hands are so cold recently. Let's do something warm today.
Looking at the neatly arranged shoes at the door, Liuli came back first. I wonder if I'm hungry?
"Brother, you're back ~" My sister came out of the kitchen, wearing a grass-green apron with Winnie the Pooh on it. Children's aprons actually grow to their feet and steal adults' clothes. "There is something delicious today ~" She has a happy smile on her face, cute millet teeth and stars in her eyes. The steaming food on her hand makes my heart warmer than the winter sunshine.
The so-called relatives should accompany.
Second brother on the cloud.
"XX years, XX months, XX days.
Second brother, HF bullies people! I know westerners are ordinary and tall, but that stool should not be so high! ! ! Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? I can't believe I climbed up today. Ah ~ what a pity! ! ! Do I have to go to class in this shameful way forever ... "
"Coloured glaze, it doesn't matter. I will hug you later. "
"XX years, XX months, XX days.
Second brother, we have anatomy class today. Anatomy class is normal. This is a compulsory course for all medical students. But I really didn't know they were so timid that they threw up in the last anatomy class. The boy with five big and three thick in my group patted me on the shoulder and said,' Never mind, don't be afraid of me.' If he told me this, his face would not be blue, his lips would not be white, and his chest would not be disgusting, which would be more credible. I finished the experiment quickly and escaped from the classroom. They make me want to throw up.
Isn't it good that they usually eat blood beef? What are you afraid of in anatomy class? Isn't it flesh and blood? The email is written here, brother, I want to eat roast beef. "
"Coloured glaze, your stomach is not good. Remember that beef must be cooked! "
"XX years, XX months, XX days.
A senior gave me a bottle of black pepper anti-wolf spray. She told me that sometimes there are some guys who come into contact with X and some pedophiles. Pedophile! ! ! Although the mouth twitched at that time, I accepted it. After all, she meant well.
I didn't expect to meet one in a few days. The guy wrapped in a long trench coat came up to me and suddenly shouted' surprise' and pulled open his coat. I sprayed that bottle of something ~
The ambulance was carrying the unknown man yelling at XX, and my forehead was covered with sweat ... Actually, I didn't intend to spray it, but I didn't expect it to be sprayed at the right height. But ... does it hurt that much? Pepper ... "
"XX years, XX months, XX days.
Second brother, there is a very annoying guy at school. He looks down on Asians. I really want to beat him up. I didn't expect it to really give me a chance. In the martial arts competition held by the school, he injured a classmate in our college and shouted there, saying,' Go back and hug your heart, spleen, lungs and kidneys. The outside world is terrible. I jumped on the stage. But he laughed wildly there and said,' Little friend, go home and drink milk powder. Brother is terrible!' Then hook your mouth with your fingers and pull to both sides. ...
I just flew a leg, and he "floated" off the stage ... his face was the face he just made. ...
That' Kuang' landing is really touching. But it's a pity that you didn't land on your face! "
"XX years, XX months, XX days.
Brother, why didn't you reply to my email? Why is there no news all of a sudden? I called home and my mother said you were fine. "
"February XX 14.
Second brother, today is Valentine's Day! Many girls around received chocolates. I envy you, I also want to eat free chocolate ... "
"XX years, XX months, XX days.
Second brother, I went to see the pre-Vietnam game today. It's amazing that he has qualified for the final of the top 16. Although I don't know tennis, I'm glad he won. I hugged him and kissed him directly, but he froze for a long time and then ran away with his bag. I'm not happy. I'm very unhappy. What a pity! Sister, I have few relatives! "
A second brother who came out of the tropical rain forest finally found the internet, but he saw such a shocking email. He screamed and grabbed his head. "Ah ~ mom ~ HF has bad people! ! ! I want HF ~ "(hey ~ who is this bad guy? )
Mother Yun at the other end of the phone scolded lightly, "Why are you so surprised?" I have arranged a two-year trip for you, and there are still many places to go. I even found a tour guide to take pictures of you and the mummy. How can I change my mind temporarily? "
"Mom ~ I said to Europe, Europe! Even if you want to cultivate my favorite buildings, you can't take me to the rainforest to see the thatched cottages of the aborigines, and then let me live in the pyramids! ! ! "
Fan 5
Patience will carefully paste the photos in your hand into the album, and make sure they are as square as the previous photos before you can safely cover them with film. Everyone has to admit that I am afraid I am a gentleman who has never been so serious on the tennis court.
Endure to savor these photos one by one. There may be many passers-by in the film, but the protagonist is always that one. From three years ago to now, this photo album almost recorded her growth.
The first is that when she first arrived in the United States, she and her brother Shang Yun went to the supermarket to buy daily necessities. She secretly took out a box of radishes from the shopping cart and threw them on other shelves. I am still secretly proud of my success and secrecy, but in fact? The spoil in the eyes of big brother on the cloud can also be felt by himself outside the photo. And I know for the first time that she doesn't like radishes.
……
X is her first winter in America. The weather forecast said it was very cold there, but he could see the white world and the snow that hardly reached her knees through the photos. She wore a long white down jacket, thick and soft, and wrapped her like a small snowball. Compared with when I was in Japan, I gained a lot of weight and my face was round, but my face was red with cold because of the cold wind outside. It's really cute, a doll carved in powder and jade. But her movements make people frown. She kept rubbing her hands and burying her head in them. What a bad habit! Why don't you want to wear gloves? Even if you wrap yourself in zongzi, your hands will always be empty. Brother Yun, can you tell me something about her? What if I get frostbite? The doctor's hand is the most important!
Now, three years later, the original little doll has changed a lot. If she was cute at the beginning, she can be described as beautiful now. The figure is much taller, the waist comes out, the facial features are more detailed, and there is quite a gentle and pleasant taste. Smiling at Zhan Yan, a new brother in primary school, can also make many people blush. Fortunately, orientals are petite and afraid of being laughed at as pedophiles, so they all suppress their ideas. I can't help frowning at the thought of this patience. In another year or two, she may be chasing a lot of people behind her. Fortunately, the two brothers on the cloud also saw this sign and began to take precautions. But she doesn't know whether this habit of laughing is good or bad.
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