Humorous stories before bed coax girlfriends.

If you want to go, there used to be two little pigs who lived a carefree life all day. They love each other. Every day when the host brings them to dinner, the boar always lets the sow eat first, and then goes up to eat the sow's leftovers when the sow is full. Every night, the boar always keeps an eye on the sows because he is afraid that his master will pull them out and kill them when they are asleep. As the days passed, sows became fatter and boars became thinner. One day, the boar suddenly heard that the owner was discussing with the butcher to kill and sell the growing sow. The boar was extremely sad, so from that day on, the boar's temperament changed greatly. Whenever the owner brings food, the boar always grabs it and eats it all. After eating well every day, he lay down to sleep and told the sow that she was going to keep watch now. If he finds that she is not on guard, he will never pay attention to her again. As the days passed, the sow felt that the boar cared less and less about her. The sow was disappointed, but the boar lived a happy life as if nothing had happened. A month passed quickly, and the owner took the butcher to the pigsty. He found that a month ago, the fat and strong sow lost weight, and there was not much meat left, while the boar grew shiny. At this time, the boar ran desperately to attract the owner's attention and show that he was a healthy pig. Finally, the butcher dragged the boar away. At the moment when he pulled it out of the pigsty, the boar smiled and said to the sow, don't eat so much in the future. The sow was so sad that she rushed out desperately, but the enclosure door was closed by the owner and the fence was put aside. The sow looked at the tearful boar. That night, the sow looked at her master's house and ate pork happily. The sow lies sadly in the place where the boar sleeps every day. Suddenly, she found a line on the wall: "If love can't be expressed in words, I am willing to prove it with my life"! When the sow saw this line, human beings were moved by this sad love story. In order to commemorate this love, the girls also said that they did not forget the last words of the wild boar before leaving, "Don't eat so much in the future." Luofuji 77 Sometimes a girl asks me to tell her a story before she can fall asleep. For a friend who is not with her, tell her a short story every night to put her to sleep, can you make your relationship closer? Today, I share a few short stories about putting girls to sleep, hoping to be useful to everyone. The phone number is 1. Running White Rabbit There is a white rabbit running happily in the forest. On the way, it met a giraffe who was rolling marijuana. The white rabbit said to the giraffe, giraffe, why did you do something to hurt yourself? Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! The giraffe looked at the marijuana and the white rabbit, so she threw the marijuana behind her and ran in the forest with the white rabbit. Later, they met an elephant ready to take cocaine. The white rabbit said to the elephant, elephant, why did you do something to hurt yourself? Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! The elephant looked at the cocaine and the white rabbit, so he threw the cocaine behind him and ran in the forest with the white rabbit and giraffe. Later, they met a lion who was going to fight heroin. The white rabbit said to the lion, Lion, why did you do something that hurt yourself? Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! The lion looked at the syringe and the white rabbit, so he threw the syringe behind him and rushed to hit the white rabbit. The elephant and giraffe trembled with fear: Why did you hit the white rabbit? It is so kind. It cares about our health and makes us close to nature. The lion said angrily, this rabbit drags me around the forest like a * * * every time he takes me. On the first day of fishing, the white rabbit went fishing by the river and went home without catching anything. The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river again, but found nothing and went home. On the third day, the man said nothing, and the woman's answer was even worse. 65438 +0 man: "May I ask you the way?" Woman: "Where?" Male: "To your heart" Female: "Sorry, this road is closed"

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The man's words are absolutely unique, and the woman's answer is even more unique. Man 2: "Your legs must be very tired!" " "Woman:" Why? Man: "Because you've been running around in my head all day. "Woman:" I think it doesn't matter, because your brain is so small. "

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Man No.3: (looking at the label of her shirt) Woman: "What are you doing?" Male: "I wonder if you were made in heaven" Female: "Were you made in hell?"

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Man 4: "I had a bad day. Seeing a beautiful girl smile will make me feel better. Can you smile for me? " Woman: "Do you want me to have a bad day?"

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Man: "Sorry, I'm an artist. It's my job to stare at beautiful women." Woman: "I'm sorry, I'm a breeder, and being watched by others makes me uncomfortable."

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The man's words are absolutely unique, and the woman's answer is even more unique. Man 6: "Miss, can you lend me five dollars?" Woman: "What are you going to do?" Man: "I'm going to call my mother and tell her that I saw a peerless beauty today." Woman: "Sorry, I can't lend it to you." Man: "Why?" Woman: "because I'm going to call the hospital and say I was scared by a frog."

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The man's words are absolutely unique, and the woman's answer is even more unique. No.7 man: "It really rained today." Woman: "Yes." Man: "That's because God is drooling over you." Woman: "So that gust of wind just now was given to you by God?"

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Men's words are absolutely unique, and women's answers are even more unique. Man No.8: "Trust me ... I will make you the second happiest person in the world!" " Female: "Why not be the first ..." (pretending to be cute) Male: "With you ... I am the happiest person!" Woman: "I think I will soon be the happiest person in the world." (Daydreaming) Man: "Why?" Woman: "Because I want to get rid of your entanglement."

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Others:

1. A man ventured alone in the forest and suddenly found himself surrounded by cannibals. So he shouted to the sky, "I'm dead, God help me!" " "I saw a voice falling from the sky at the first light:" Not necessarily, you can pick up a big stone on the ground and smash the leader to death. " So he picked up the biggest stone on the ground and threw it at the chief, just killing him. All the people stayed for a while, then glared at each other. At this moment, another voice came from the sky: "Now you are really dead. "

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2. School Booking Office: Tickets are particularly tight now. If the train ticket you want is gone, will you obey the adjustment? Me: Obey. After getting the ticket the next day, I was very angry: I booked a ticket to Shandong, why did I get a ticket to Shanxi! ! ! School booking office: Didn't you say that you obey the adjustment?

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Once the bell rings, everyone must go home. When going down the stairs, a boy stepped on his right foot with his left foot and fell into a big font in the middle of the road ... He thought at that time: No, it's too embarrassing, you have to pretend to be dizzy.

As a result, the students next to him saw the boy motionless, quickly helped him up and slapped him in the past. ...

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4. Once upon a time, Americans visited Russia. One day, I saw two Russian workers on my way to Russia. One is to dig a hole by the roadside with a shovel. He digs a hole every three meters. Another worker immediately backfilled the hole just dug by the previous worker, and so on ... The American was curious and asked the first Russian worker, "Why did the guy behind you fill in the hole just after you dug it?" Russian workers replied: "We are greening the road. I dig a hole, the second person plants trees, and the third person fills the soil. But the second man didn't come today. 』

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5, about the teacher's jingle:

As soon as the Chinese teacher turns around, Lu Xun is willing to be a willing scalper math teacher. Six yuan and six times can make the English teacher turn around. The global physics teacher turns around with a foreign language, the geochemical teacher turns around with a lever, and the labor teacher who turns carbon dioxide into gasoline turns around. The physical education teacher who comes to the catwalk with rags, the political teacher who plays football with Daiyu, and the art teacher who sleepwalks in the class are also romantic.

14ahm， Please search _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ You'll laugh, too. If your girlfriend's personality is different from the above, give her some anti-Japanese or brave help. The average girl likes lyrical and dreamy stories. If you want to tell him a boring and lengthy story, he will naturally fall asleep when he is tired of listening to it.