How to write a funny imperial edict

During the Chinese New Year, a person drove all the way home. On this day, he came to a sparsely populated place. He hasn't seen a restaurant for a long time. He is hungry and anxious, and he is seeing stars. Before he left, he suddenly saw a small restaurant on the roadside. In front of the shop, he hung a sign that said "stir-fry". The man was overjoyed, stopped quickly and trotted into the shop. Before he could sit still, he quickly called out.

Boss: ~ …! ? ~~~☆☆