Composition "Striving for Excellence in Learning"

Seventeen. Carefully consider each word and sentence, strive for perfection - never tire of revision

Lu Xun has two famous sayings: "I have a saying that should be remembered, and the success or failure of the article is unpredictable." This is one of his experiences. Talk. The gains and losses, good and bad, good and bad of an article are not determined by God, but rely on your own efforts. Before writing, you must carefully observe and ponder; after writing, you must repeatedly think about it and revise it carefully. I am not tired of correcting it hundreds of times. Some people say that "good articles are made by correcting them." There is indeed a reason worth pondering.

Comrade Mao Zedong once said: "I might as well read an important article ten times, seriously. Revise it and then publish it." If you are "careless, you don't know the basic knowledge of writing an essay." Students learn to write essays. Although they are not writing "important" articles, they must write fluently and accurately reflect objective reality. The writing is somewhat colorful, and it is also necessary to carefully consider every word and sentence, strive for perfection, and work hard on revision.

Literary Essays

Revision is an indispensable process in the writing process. Jade Bu No matter how good the material is, no matter how good the idea is, after writing the article, it will always have both flaws and flaws. If you revise and polish it, it will become a masterpiece.

Things are complicated and twists and turns, and the article must reflect them accurately. , it is very difficult. Therefore, people have to understand and think over and over again, constantly deepen correct views, and correct inappropriate or even wrong understandings. Revising an article means revising and perfecting understanding so that the understanding conforms to the reality of objective things. Ancient and modern, Chinese and foreign , Anyone who writes well has made great efforts in this aspect.

How did Ouyang Xiu, one of the eight great writers of the Tang and Song Dynasties, treat revisions? According to Tang Biao's "Reading and Composition Genealogy": " Ouyang Yongshu wrote the article, and after it was completed, he stuck it to the wall and read it day and night. He made some changes but only half of them remained, he made changes and then changed them again, and not a single word of the original remained." Leo Tolstoy He is a great writer. "War and Peace" is a masterpiece, and it is said that it was revised seven times. "Anna Karenina" was written for five years, and the beginning was revised 12 times. "Resurrection" was written for 10 years, among which Maslow The portrait description of the baby has been revised 20 times, and the portrait description only uses about 120 characters. Guo Moruo is a quick writer, and people often misunderstand that his articles are all written in one stroke. In fact, this is not the case. Someone asked him what is Regarding script writing, he replied: "Change, change, change, change, change, change, change. The most important thing in writing a script is to change more." Obviously, he wrote "Nanguancao", "Cai Wenji" and "Qu Yuan". The scripts of historical dramas are also revised. From this, we can understand the truth: the article must be revised, and revision will produce a good work. Literary writers are willing to spend time and energy to carefully revise long masterpieces, and we should learn to write short essays in Practice more in this area and learn more about the principles of writing.

What does article revision include? Tang Biao in the Qing Dynasty said this in "Reading and Composition Spectrum": "If the article has been drafted, Then check them one by one from beginning to end. If the Qi is not smooth, it must be smoothed out; if the Qi is not round, it must be refined to make it round; if the blood is inconsistent, it must be melted to make it smooth; if the syllables are not loose, it must be smoothed out. It must be adjusted to make the leaves. With such careful consideration, natural defects will be rare." After the first draft of the article is completed, it must be reviewed and revised from beginning to end. It must be smooth and smooth, the blood vessels must be penetrated, and the rhyme of the leaves must be in the main theme, material, and tone of the article. Work must be done on the structure and language.

Sometimes, due to the author’s subjective or social objective reasons, the original work is greatly modified, or even overthrown and re-written. For example, the world-famous work "Anna Karenni" The first draft of "Nana" was titled "Two Marriages", and it was about a family tragedy, "an unfaithful wife and all the tragedies that resulted from it." After finishing writing, Leo Tolstoy was very dissatisfied. The work lacked Therefore, I re-conceived the characters, structure, and plot of the story, made major changes, and wrote it as a social tragedy. Due to the extensive revisions, the theme was greatly deepened. It is conceivable that if the author was not subjectively dissatisfied and did not spend a lot of effort to revise, this would have been It would be difficult for this work to become a popular work handed down from generation to generation. He Wei's "The Second Examination" was originally a 3,000-word essay. Due to space limitations at the time of publication, the Literature and Art Department of "People's Daily" requested that the article be reduced to 2,000 words. Within words, in this way, the author

It needs to be re-conceived, using the most economical method to outline the scenes of the two examinations, setting up a series of suspense, which is fascinating. The effect of the revision is good. He Wei said with deep understanding in the article of "Prose and Me": "The article Sometimes it is indeed modified."

There are two ways to modify materials, one is "adding" and the other is "deleting". The materials affect the texture of the article, and the materials are vague and not useful. If it is specific and incomplete, no matter how good the ideas or thoughts are, it is impossible to express them effectively. If the material is complex and the theme is overwhelmed or diluted, then the water must be removed and the branches and leaves must be cut to make the main stem clear and obvious. People use Du Fu's " Cut off the osmanthus in the middle of the moon, and the clear light should be more." These two lines of poetry talk about changing the text. In mythology, there is an osmanthus tree in the moon. If you cut off the osmanthus tree in the middle of the moon, the moon will be brighter. Only by removing impurities can the article appear spiritual. , the theme becomes clear.

There is an article about Chinese language learning, and one of the paragraphs reads:

In order to improve reading ability, one relies on reading more, and the other relies on careful reading. . To read a book or an article, you must read carefully word for word, and you must pay attention to the meaning of each word. Only by reading carefully can you read a book, and you will gain a book, and read an article. , I gained an article.

Chinese philologist Lu Shuxiang believed that this passage lacked specific examples and only talked about abstract principles, so the content was empty. He revised it like this:

I think that in order to improve reading ability, the first thing is to read carefully, and the second thing is to read more. I think when reading an article, you should first read it roughly to understand the general idea. Then read it word by word, and read the words you don’t understand. Look up the dictionary and reference books when you encounter unclear facts. Be sure to understand them. In some places, you also need to think about why you say this and not that, and why you use this word instead of that word. Finally Read it through again, find out the main points of the article, and memorize it. For the whole book, you should first read the preface, examples, and table of contents to understand the author's intention, the nature and style of the book, and then read it carefully in chapters and sections. Read in this way, You can not only learn the content of the article, but also learn the skills of expression. By reading in this way, you can gain as much as you read from an article, and you can gain as much from reading a book.

After these modifications, , added, the content is concrete and enriched. How to read an article carefully, how to read a book carefully, are explained clearly. Not every material needs to be written in such detail. According to the needs of the central idea of ??the article, the details should be If the whole article is written in detail and the materials are piled up regardless of priority, it will be bloated.

Ye Shengtao's short story "Collecting Three or Five Dou More" is a famous The article, when first published, had this ending:

The old saying "low prices hurt farmers" became a popular headline in urban newspapers.

Landowners felt the difficulty of collecting rent, They held a meeting and sent out a telegram, saying to the effect: This year's harvest is extremely bumper, there is a surplus of grain, and grain prices are low. Farmers are suffering unbearably. We should ask the government to come up with a relief plan.

The financial sector is supposed to do this. After the transaction, a rescue plan was put forward: - (1) The major banks and banks would raise capital, buy grain and rice from various places, designate suitable locations to accumulate it, and sell it one after another when the supply is low, so as to keep the price of rice balanced. state; (2) Promote grain and rice mortgages to prevent rice merchants from buying in groups, resulting in endless hoarding; (3) The financial sector is responsible for raising funds to purchase grain and rice, and settle the settlement after the sale, according to the proportion of profit and loss. The industry is silent. The price of rice is low, and workers can be exempted from "rice stickers", which is beneficial to them.

Social scientists have published papers in various magazines, ranging from Statistics and academic theory point out that the theory of food surplus is simply a joke: "Cheap grain will hurt farmers" is not inevitable. Even if grain is not cheap, farmers will be hurt under the dual oppression of imperialism and feudal forces.

These are all things in the city, and the "countrymen" have no idea at all. Some of them squandered the rice they ate, sold their poor cattle, or borrowed a debt of four cents and five cents to pay the rent. ; Some came forward and were locked up in the detention center, with two corners and three corners, reluctantly paying for their meals; some were addicted to gambling, hoping that the bone dice would have a spirit and win him ten or eight yuan a game; Ask someone to go

They say good things and return the rent to the landlord, preparing to become a clean pauper; some run away and quietly climb onto a fourth-class train bound for Shanghai.

This large paragraph is consistent with the entire article. The style is uncoordinated. Most of the material comes from newspapers and periodicals at the time, and the commentary is very strong, which dilutes the theme of harvest and disaster. Later, when compiling "Collected Works of Ye Shengtao", the author deleted this large paragraph and changed it to "This kind of The story is also being performed in various cities and towns, it is really ordinary and ordinary." The materials and words are greatly reduced, but the connotation is enriched. This modification not only harmonizes with the style of the whole novel, but also deepens the theme of the novel and denounces exploitation Peasants, the evil social system that oppresses peasants.

The important thing in structural modification is to clarify the context. What should be said first, and what should be said later. It must be in an orderly manner. Some articles may seem okay at first glance, but with a little more After careful consideration, some paragraphs are not arranged appropriately. If they are adjusted, the expression of affection will be much more accurate. The following is the original draft and revised draft of some paragraphs of "The Butterfly Club by the Lancang River".

Original draft:

The end point of our visit was two closely connected villages - Manting and Manza, backed by the river bank. When we just walked on the dense forest path along the river, I discovered that every piece of land here , every section of the journey, every jungle, is so full of beautiful tropical scenery, which is enough to form a colorful and wonderful scenery. We passed several villages hidden deep in the dense forest, and we can only look for them carefully. Only then can we discover those beautiful and exquisite Dai bamboo houses among the trees. The villages here are very uniquely distributed. Instead of many families gathering together, they are sparsely scattered in the middle of a forest. Each bamboo house is surrounded by a Rich fruit orchards; coconut trees and areca trees with tall branches and leaves growing in front of and behind the windows of every household, and mango trees and lychee trees covering the ground. Here, people use the demonstrative pronoun "that" which is full of hanging fruits, "Na" should be used here, an interrogative pronoun.

12 The meaning is complete; replace the comma with a period.

13 The verb "persistence" expresses continuous actions and behaviors and cannot be used later. "Le" is a tense verb expressing the perfect tense.

14 The first half of this sentence already says "in the history of the development of natural science", so it is redundant to use "past" here.

15 The commas between "kill" and "burn to death", and between "doctrine" and "works" are changed to pauses. The use of commas makes the level of meaning unclear.

16 Add "er" to enhance the transitional tone; "ruin" and "bad" have different meanings. "Destroy" in the sentence means to burn, which is more accurate than "bad"; "truth" and "pass down" are inappropriately matched.

17 "Jew" is a clerical error in "commit".

18 "Subjectivism" and "idealism" are philosophical terms. The situation mentioned in the article does not proceed from objective reality. , you can use "subjectivism". "Idealism" in philosophy can be divided into subjective idealism and objective idealism. These are not covered in the article, and the meaning will be clearer after deletion.

19 "Law" is Polysemous words, meaning: rules; regulations, etc. Repeated with "law", delete it and make it concise.

20 "Errors and shortcomings" can be used together, but the words "error" and "shortcomings" above use a comma Click on it and add a period for consistency of context.

21 Regarding the issue of "knowledge", ⑨ has been explained.

22 This sentence is a sub-argument with complete meaning and should be used Period.

23 "Ge" is a redundant word.

24 "Philosophers and hundreds of schools of thought..." is the object of "like", so there is no period.

25 "From now on" is an adverbial of time. When used, it seems to only refer to the non-existence of people who know all the sciences after this time. The expression is not precise enough, so it is deleted; the scope of "various sciences" is not large enough, so add "all" , constitutes a full judgment, and the reasoning is more powerful.

26 "Su" is dispensable.

27 Adding "and" makes the tone more coherent.

28 "With this" is a classical Chinese word, so it should be changed to "therefore"

"Appropriate.

29 The meaning is complete, use a period.

30 There is a complex sentence in the quotation marks, so "two sentences" are deleted; "modest" is changed to "humbly" which is more in line with the usual practice

Commentary on the essay

Enlightenment

People often say that things are easier to obtain

The central idea of ??this argumentative essay is concentrated. Single. Based on the common phenomenon in life - "the easier it is to get something, the easier it is to lose it", it explains that people should pay attention to and cherish things that are easy to get, especially spiritual ones, otherwise they will regret it endlessly. Article Reasoning closely to the center, with clear levels and highlighted key points. On the basis of reasoning, use a complex sentence to conclude, concise and clear. The three clauses seem to be parallel, but in fact the first two serve as a foil for the latter, highlighting the "leave of the article" It is in the hand, hold it tightly" to strengthen the central idea. The use of quotation marks can deepen the reader's impression. The title is eye-catching and can open the door to the reader's thinking.

There are many problems with the text. , have been modified.

The first is to remove unanswered side branches. For example, "But I don't think this sentence can really be tried and true" in ②. If not deleted, the article should focus on " "Nothing can be tried and every solution will work" is discussed, and the main idea has changed. In fact, the following does not expand on this point, and it is not settled, so it must be deleted.

The second is to adjust the paragraph level. The fourth natural paragraph The opening sentence should be placed at the end of the third natural paragraph. Modification 14 is to make the level of this natural paragraph clearer. If used as a general beginning, it will give people the illusion that this issue is specifically discussed. Place it at the end of the third natural paragraph. , it does not affect the focus of the discussion - the love of parents for their children, but also makes the discussion rigorous, and does not discard other things to highlight the focus.

The third is to modify the wrong sentences. For example, ⑦, there is no turning relationship in the context, no "And" must be used; the above does not mention something that is despised in spirit, so "you" cannot be used here. Therefore, "And" is deleted. For example, in ⑨, the part of speech is not grasped, and "thought" is a noun, here The verb "think" should be used. "Think" and "think" cannot be confused. For example, ⑩ is polishing, expressing feelings more fully and fluently. Following the above, put "to us" before the verb "cut" Good. "Reduce" alone is not enough. Adding "every cent" will make the meaning heavier. Adding "everything" before "care" also means the same thing. "Care" is inappropriate and should be changed to "love". For example, in 11, it must be in Add "to you" before "do it" as a restriction, otherwise the sentence will have ambiguous meanings. For example, in 12, if "begin with" is used above, "then" can be used here. The use of such related words contains factors of sequence. This The first half of the sentence says that friends "do not give in to each other", and the second half of the sentence says "cutting off contact". The relationship between the two is a further level, so "then" cannot be used and should be changed to "even". For example, 16, The meaning of the expression is not precise. "Past" has the value of "past" and cannot be said to be "just used to absorb experiences and lessons." "Today" is not all "dreams", so it is changed to "the important thing is to learn lessons from it." .For example, 17 "demanding" means to be too strict and is inappropriate to use in a sentence, so it is changed to "demanding".

Adding "must understand" at the end can firstly draw the reader's attention further, and secondly, it can It echoes the title "Enlightenment".

The above are only rough modifications. They need to be carefully considered. Both content and form have been improved. There are many things that can be considered and polished. For example, in 15, "Everyone" " seems to be the way a speech is written; changing it to "everyone" is slightly better, but still unsatisfactory. To make a perfect revision, you must change the angle and rewrite this paragraph. Therefore, the article has been revised hundreds of times.

A bunch of important words

Writing an article requires careful consideration and repeated revisions before it can be perfected.

Revising an article is essentially a change of thoughts, with clear thoughts. Only by being organized can the article be smooth and smooth.

When revising, you must: delete redundant and obscene words to highlight the theme; think over and over again to clarify the context; be precise and accurate; polish and process to achieve perfection.

After writing, read it at least twice, and try your best to delete unnecessary words, sentences, and paragraphs without any regrets.

Edit

Reform is a comprehensive ability. To improve this ability, you must enrich your knowledge, expand your horizons, temper your thoughts, and temper your language