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That Sima Yi got the street pavilion and captured Liucheng conveniently. After entering the city, the whole army had a three-day holiday and had a good time. On this day, Sima Yi and Zhang Jaw drank Huasan and enjoyed a geisha performance from the base camp. Suddenly, the spies of his night attack team came to report that the army of West Shu had retreated to Sichuan in order to preserve its strength, and only Zhuge Liang, the strategist of West Shu, did not leave Xicheng because he had not received a debt. Sima Yi was overjoyed and said, "Wealth has arrived. If I rob Zhuge Liang and his trench, I can not only earn all the sponsorship money back, but also make a profit. In addition, the flower girl in Xicheng is big. hahaha. Get this chin off me quickly. Two plus one plus five is uncomfortable. " So Sima Yi grunted, "Flower girl in Dabancheng. . . . . "He pointed to the battle map and said to Zhang Jaw:" Zhang Jaw Army, Zhuge Liang is very powerful in Xicheng. I must finish this arduous task. You go to the mountains to find his way out. After you finish, you take 5% and I have to remove the remaining 0.5%. " That chin is retarded. As soon as Sima Yi heard one hundred and five, with ten point five left, he shouted, "OK, OK, OK." I was so happy that I led my troops to find it. Sima Yi issued an order to start: "The whole army will eat and fight, get up in the third watch, eat in the fourth watch and start at the fifth watch." It is said that Zhuge Liang has nothing to do since he transferred Ma Su and General Wang Ping. He has been playing mahjong hard every day since he removed his master. When officials saw what happened to Ma Su and Wang Ping, they dared to hit him again. As a result, Zhuge Liang's money rolled in and white bars flew all over the sky. On this day, I was addicted to winning. Suddenly, the director of intelligence came to report that Ma Su had lost his street kiosk. Zhuge Liang was furious: "My mother is thin-skinned. I just didn't listen, but he lost the street pavilion and deliberately gave me a hard time. " Just about to mobilize troops to fight a decisive battle with the Northern Wei Dynasty, someone came to report: "President's secret telegram." Zhuge Liang spread out a look: "If bandits are found in the hinterland of Sichuan today, you must settle down first and return to your division as soon as possible to avoid losses." Zhuge Liang got the message and quickly deployed the withdrawal. Back to the handsome account, finishing the softness, I found a white strip on the desktop. It's Xicheng Ouyang who owes five thousand two hundred pieces of silver and is reluctant to leave. So, let Zhao Yunling lead the troops first, and he came to Xicheng with 5000 handsome horses.

On this day, Zhuge Liang just sold Ouyang Crazy's last vest, received 4999 taels of silver, and was still bragging about Ouyang Crazy's home. Suddenly, I visited Malai for the sixteenth time and reported: "Report to the strategist, something bad has happened. Sima Yi led an army of 150,000, hoping that Xicheng would flock here. The vanguard troops have gone five miles out of the city! " Zhuge Liang was shocked: "Bullshit, all the checkpoints along the way are useless. How can we get him to arrive safely without peeling him a few layers? " The detective said: "Sima Yi hung a public security license this time, and no one dared to stop him." This time Zhuge Liang came to collect money, fearing that the military attache would rob him. He didn't bring any, but only a group of tax collectors, all of whom were civil servants. Half of the 5,000 chariots and horses he brought with him were carried away by the more than 4,000 taels of silver he received first, leaving only 2,500 infantry in the city. Hearing the news, the tax collectors were terrified out of their wits and ran to the American consulate to do immigration. Zhuge Liang hurried to the wall and looked through the telescope for 30 times. Sure enough, the dust is flying, and Wei Bing takes notice of Xicheng County. Zhuge Liang hurriedly ordered: "Hide the flag quickly, and the whole army will dress up as civilians and tell Sima Yi that we are not here." Suddenly he reported, "Counselor, Sima Yi is treacherous. He said he didn't believe we were out of town. " Zhuge Liang sighed: "Damn, I am a classmate of Tojo's. Even this can be seen. " Helpless, he gave the order again: "The whole city is under martial law and guarding the city. If there is a parade and shouts slogans, it will be cut off. " In addition, 20 non-commissioned officers from various sects should close the door quickly. "Soon, those people came to report:" Counselor, this is no good. The door shafts of the four doors are in disrepair and cannot be closed. "Zhuge Liang sighed." God, do I really want to die for the party and the country? "Helpless, Zhuge Liang put on his best crane, his most valuable nylon scarf, led his two favorite children, carried a Xinghai Qin, and sat on the railing of the tower, burning incense and playing a symphony of destiny.

It is said that Sima Yi's vanguard troops came to the gate and saw this battle. Although he can't understand what the track is, he is afraid that others will say that he has no culture, so he has to endure and pretend to appreciate it and dare not move. At this time, Si Mazhao, the captain of Pioneer United, was a young and reckless man. He didn't know how elegant he was. Without waiting for air support, he did not prepare for artillery fire, pulled out his command knife and shouted, "coming, rabbit." . . . "Led the troops into the city. Zhuge Liang was startled and shouted, "Hey, young man, you are too rude. Aren't you afraid I have an ambush? " Si Mazhao immediately laughed: "I have a gobbledygook here. What are you afraid of?" Zhuge Liang quickly asked, "What gobbledygook is so powerful? "Si Mazhao took out the pirated novel he bought in the market the day before yesterday and flashed:" You see, the Romance of the Three Kingdoms says that there are no soldiers in your city. Ha ha ha. " Everyone in Chengtou fell down together.

Author: Zhao Yun married 2004- 12-28 19:00 reply to this speech.

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2 empty city plan

(Black screen. . . . . . . . . "Mama of, how the power went out again? Every time the film is critical, there will be a power outage. " The director angrily took a round 10 steel bar and reconnected the blown fuse. Open the VCD, while continuing to enjoy it, pick up the mouse and click on the reflection, reading progress, empty story and OK (after the screen flashes. . . . )

Zhuge Liang put on his best crane, his most expensive black silk scarf, led his two favorite children, carried a Xinghai Qin, came to the rostrum, sat on the railing, burned incense and played the piano, and had a brainwave and played "When will you come again?"

It is said that Sima Yi's vanguard troops came to the gate and saw this battle. Although he doesn't understand what the orbit is, he can't make any action. At this time, Si Mazhao, the captain of Pioneer United, was a young and reckless man. He didn't know how elegant he was. Without waiting for air support, he did not prepare for artillery fire, pulled out his command knife and shouted, "coming, rabbit." . . . "Running into the city alone, I heard Shu people laugh. Looking back, no one came, which was very boring and had to be returned.

Si Mazhao came to tell Sima Yi angrily. At this time, Sima Yi's army has arrived and is busy camping, laying telephone lines and inquiring about the dynamics of Tokyo stock market online. Sima Yi listened to Si Mazhao's crying, but just laughed and didn't believe it. So he told his men not to wait, and he drove a Mitsubishi cruiser to see for himself. Sima Yi got off the bus and saw Zhuge Liang sitting on the top of the city, with his eyes closed and his head shaking, enjoying himself. Sima Yi looked at the city gate again and saw that all the officers and men were in ecstasy, so he couldn't help but gasp. "Oh, I've only heard of the magic sound solution before, but I saw it today. It's amazing." He was so busy thinking that he forgot to hold his breath and exercise. The voice "When will you come again" came into the eardrum, and he only felt thirsty, his desire rose and he danced. Fortunately, a stone on the ground tripped him and touched the big bag on his head. He just said he was lucky. Sima Yi quickly took off her stockings, plugged her ears, hurried back to her tent, and issued an order: the back team was changed to the front team, and the front team was changed to the back team, so as to quickly retreat three miles. Si Mazhao said quickly, "Are you kidding? There is no army in Xicheng. This is Zhuge Liang's empty plan. Why are we retreating? " Sima yi thought, how can they know what it was like just now? He quickly said, "Zhuge Liang has been cunning, timid and cautious all his life, and no one has ever risked his life." Now open the gate, there must be an ambush. If we enter the city, we will encounter mine warfare, tunnel warfare and eagle warfare ... anyway, everyone will be dragged to death. Give me an order to retreat for forty miles, ignore him and see what he does. "Therefore, Wei Bing reluctantly retreated.

Zhuge Liang saw that Taiwei was going to retreat, and his spirit did it one brace up. I thought, if I don't fight, I won't make people laugh, so I took something out of my pocket and smashed it. It's a guarding city battle. Wei Jun was about to retreat when he suddenly saw many things flying down from the city. A literate man read aloud, "Ten thousand. . . . Thirty thousand. . . . Fifty thousand. . . Ha ha ha, I know that, too. Ninety thousand dollars. . Hearing this, Sima Yi proudly said to the crowd, "Look, look, they have already ambushed 90,000 troops. If I hadn't seen Zhuge Liang's strategy, we wouldn't have eaten his foot washing water. " Hearing this, everyone said in unison, "high, really high." Then Si Mazhao thought: "It seems that this Romance of the Three Kingdoms is not credible." Just throw Luo Guanzhong's Romance of the Three Kingdoms into the ditch. They hurried back five miles.

What happened was this: "Geng Chen defeated the mighty division with three feet, and Zhuge Xicheng retreated from the enemy. 150,000 people returned to the horse, and the scholars pointed out that it was suspicious. " Zhuge Liang survived, knowing that Sima Yi would take revenge in the air. So, I stripped Ouyang Crazy of his last pair of underpants, collected 5,200 pieces of silver, and left Xicheng to see Hanzhong. Officials, soldiers and people in Tianshui, Anding and Nan 'an counties heard that Zhuge Liang was going to play the famous song "When will you come again?" , and they all followed.

1. One day, the monitor and vice president of the class were driving a jeep for a ride on the expressway.

Suddenly, Xu Sanduo drove past them in a Ferrari and shouted in his hometown dialect, "Hey, have you ever driven a Ferrari?"

Hearing this, the class teacher didn't even hit, and urged the monitor to pass, and the monitor passed as soon as he stepped on the gas pedal.

Soon, Xu Sanduo caught up from behind and shouted louder than before: "Hey, have you ever driven a Ferrari?" Say that finish and fly away.

Class vice shook his head helplessly and said, "Look at you, what jeep to buy!" " "

After driving for a while, they found that a Ferrari in front had hit the mountain wall. Xu Sanduo climbed out of the car, patted himself on the dust and said, "Have you ever driven a Ferrari? Do you know where its brakes are? " ..........

2. The deputy battalion chief of Class 5 will be transferred to 1 company, and a cultural examination will be conducted before the transfer.

Shi Jin presided over the exam, and all the comrades watched.

The company commander greeted the miniature schnauzer in advance and said:

"Don't be too difficult. Give some face "

The miniature schnauzer readily agreed.

During the exam, the history monitor looked at Xiao Wu for a while and asked:

"What do you say is seven times seven?"

Wu Ban, deputy director of the thought for a long time, stammered:

"I think it should be-forty-nine."

History of the monitor hasn't spoken, Xu Sanduo stood up and earnestly said:

"Monitor Shi, give him another chance." ......

3. One day, monitor Shi and vice monitor Wu He went shopping together.

When they came to the door of a shop, the shopkeeper asked the monitor, "What do you want?"

The monitor Shi said, "A bag of peanuts." The boss moved the ladder, climbed to the top of the shelf, took a bag of peanuts, walked down and handed it to him.

The boss asked Wu Ban's assistant again, "What do you want to buy?"

Deputy Wu Ban also asked for a bag of peanuts, so the boss complained why he didn't say so earlier, but he moved the ladder and climbed to the top of the shelf to get it. The boss stood on the ladder and took a bag of peanuts. He quickly asked Xu Sanduo, "Do you want a bag of peanuts, too?" Xu Sanduo said, "No", so the boss took a bag of peanuts. ...

The boss gave peanuts to Wu Ban's assistant. He put away the ladder and asked Xu Sanduo, "What do you want?"

Xu Sanduo said, "I want two bags of peanuts." ....

4. Gao Lianchang called a meeting of the whole company and found Xu Sanduo asleep. He was furious and woke him up.

Gao Lianchang: "Xu Sanduo, please repeat the tactics I arranged with you!"

Xu Sanduo was in a daze and couldn't say anything.

Gao Lianchang was very helpless: "Will it? I won't scream either! "

Xu Sanduo: "Cheep."

Gao Lianchang fainted.

In order to please Gao Lianchang, Vice Class Wu brought him green corn from the countryside.

The next day, before the training began, Wu, the vice monitor, went to find Gao, the company commander, who was eating corn. Wu, the deputy class, came and said politely, "You work hard every day and spend your money." The representative of Wu Ban said, "It's nothing. In rural areas, these corn are all for pigs. " .

6. Gao Lianchang asked the soldiers to write a training diary every day and hand it in for review.

Wu Ban's diary reads like this.

"Get up, brush your teeth, wash your face, have breakfast, train, have lunch, train, have dinner, brush your teeth, wash your face and sleep."

After the diary was reviewed and returned, Wu Ban found that Gao Lianchang only wrote a comment: Didn't you go to the toilet all day?

7. Xu Sanduo: Alas! Didn't sleep well last night!

Monitor Shi: What's the matter?

Xu Sanduo: I killed a mosquito!

Monitor Shi: Then have a good sleep!

Xu Sanduo: That's what I thought at first, but then a large group of mosquitoes came to hold a memorial service for it, so forget it, but then they even had dinner! Alas!

Continue writing tomorrow ~ ~ ~!