English jokes, grade five,

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I

gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But

why are you so interested in the old woman? "

" She is the one who sells the candy. "

Good boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.

"

What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?

I gave it to a poor old woman,

he replied.

"

You are a good boy,

"

Mom said proudly.

"

Here's another two cents. But why are you so interested in that old lady?

She is a candy seller.

”

Nest and Hair

My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a

bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.

"What kind of bird? " my sister asked.

"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.

"Then, can you give us a description of the nest? "My sister engaged her.

" Well, ma 'am, it just reassembles your hair. "

Notes:

(1) Inform v.

(2) nest n.

nest; Nest

(3) description n.

description

(4) encourage v.

encourage

(5) assemble v.

similarity; Similar to

18.

Bird's nest and hair

My sister is a primary school teacher. Once a student told her that a bird had built a nest on a tree outside the classroom.

"

What kind of bird is it?

"

My sister asked her.

"

I don't see any birds, sir, only the bird's nest.

"

The child replied.

So, can you describe this bird's nest for us?

"

My sister encouraged her.

"

Oh, teacher, just like your hair.

”

I've Just Bitten My Tongue

"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.

"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"

"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

Notes:

(1) poisonous adj.

Toxic

(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue

. In

sentence,

Cause

is the abbreviation of

cause

.

I just bit my tongue

"

Are we poisonous?

A young snake asked its mother.

Yes, dear,

She replied,

Why do you ask?

Because I just bit my tongue.

”

A Woman Who Fell

It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central

Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from

behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her

momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however,

she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said,

"Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet? "

Fell woman

During the rush hour,

I hurried to new york Luxury Center Station to catch a train.

approaching the door,

an obese middle-aged woman rushed from behind. Unexpectedly, she lost her foot on the smooth marble floor and slipped on her back.

her inertia brought her close to my feet.

I was about to help her, but

she got up by herself.

She calmed down,

gave me an eyebrow and said,

"

Are there always beautiful women falling at your feet?

"

English jokes (1)

Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

a: a monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.

What's the difference between a monkey and a flea? You may directly think that they are one big and one small.

But besides

,

monkeys can have fleas,

but fleas can't have monkeys.

This answer is very interesting.

Think about it?

Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?

A: By treading on his corn?

If you step on the farmer's corn or grain,

he will definitely get angry;

And if you step on the chicken

eye of the farmer's foot, he will be more angry.

Corn

can mean both

"

corn

/

grain

"

and

"

corns

"

.

Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?

A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.

Because

Snails

always carry a house on their backs, it is not surprising that snails are the strongest

creatures in the world. What do you say?

Q: What do people do in a clock factory?

A: They make faces all day.

When you see the phrase

make faces

, don't think that people who work in a watch factory make faces all day

! Because in addition to this meaning, it can also be literally interpreted as making a clock face.

Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?

A: Keep him awake.

How can I stop p>sleepwalker

walk in his sleep

)? The simplest method is not to let him sleep.

Although this is not a treatment,

If the sleepwalker is kept awake,

he really won't

sleepwalk.

English jokes (2)

He is really someone

-My uncle has 1 men under him.

-He is really someone. What does she do?

-a maintenance man in a cement.

He is really a big shot

-

There are

1,

people under my uncle.

-

He is really a big shot. What do you do?

-

Graveyard keeper.

English jokes (3)

not long after an old Chinese woman cameback to China from her visit to her

great in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her

daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully

to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

At last she could not hold any more, Uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and Trust the

money. They are real us dollars. They are directly from China."

They were brought directly from the United States.

An old American woman went to a city bank to deposit the dollars her daughter gave her shortly after she came back from visiting her daughter in the United States.

At the bank counter, the bank clerk carefully checked every bill to see if it was fake.

This made the old lady very impatient, and finally she couldn't bear to say,

"

Trust me, sir, and please

trust these bills. These are real dollars. They are brought directly from America.

"

English jokes (4)

My little dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

My dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh,

Honey, I lost my precious puppy!

Mrs. Smith: But you should put an advertisement in the newspaper!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use. My little dog can't read.

"

English jokes (5)

Bring me the winner

-waiter, this robber has only one claw.

-I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.

-well, Bring me the winner then.

Give me the winner.

-

Waiter,

This lobster has only one claw.

-

Sorry, sir, this one must have been in a fight.

-

Oh,

Then give me the winner.

English jokes (6)

The Mean Man's Party.

The Notorious Cheap Skate finally decided to have a party. Explain to a

Friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell

with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're