Funny scripts of four classic novels

The legendary swordsman (Drama Script) _ Little Demon: "Shut up! Your grandfather's grandfather! " Tang Priest: "Wow! Brother Yao, your sentence' your grandfather's grandfather' is really amazing, much deeper than my sentence' your grandfather's'. " The monster said to the little demon, "I said, little demon, although we are all dirty, our intestines and stomach are still very clean and we can't eat some unclean things." "Hey, you!" The monster said to the Tang Priest, "Go and take out everything in your stomach, lest we eat bad stomachs." Tang Priest: "I ... I really can't pull it out!" The monster and the little demon sang, "You can't throw it into the pile without yelling, and you can't throw it in with your hands!" " Tang Priest: "You ... you are really devoid of goblins! "As soon as the camera turns, the Monkey King and his three men walk on the road, singing as they walk." I often think that you are always by my side now. "(smiling face) Pig Bajie:" Brother Monkey, this cave stinks to death. It must be here. Go in and save master! " Friar Sand said, "Yes! Monkey, you go. We'll cover you outside. The Monkey King: "I copy! It's me again "Pig Bajie and Friar Sand sang together:" Monkey, go forward boldly, go forward and don't look back! The Monkey King: "OK, OK, I take it." "the Monkey King went to the mouth of the cave and sang," Look at the monster in the cave, look, look. "When the monster heard the Monkey King's voice, he walked out of the cave and sang as he walked:" After a wave of unrest, another wave came. Who is provocative? " The monster came out of the hole and saw, "I'm handcuffed!" It turned out to be a smelly monkey. The Monkey King: "You monster really has no tongue." I am the Monkey King, the champion of the water curtain cave Monkey Beauty Contest in Huaguoshan. How about it? My name is Rulei! "Monster:" Never heard of it. The Monkey King: "I copy! You monsters are so uncultured that you don't even know my grandson. "Monster:" Cut the crap and fight if you want. Eighteen dragons! The Monkey King: "Tathagata palm! When the monster was fighting with the Monkey King, Pig and Friar Sand took the opportunity to run to the cave to save the master. When the Tang Priest was rescued, the monster saw it and said, "Bastard! It turned out that I was cheated by a diversion and my IQ was as high as 28. What an asshole! It seems that I must make a quick decision. Smelly monkey, look, Chang 'e is streaking in the sky! " Hearing this, the Monkey King looked up at the sky. The monster took the opportunity to slap the Monkey King, and the Monkey King was unconscious. Facing the Tang Priest and others, the genie said, "Hey, who knows better? Go back to the cave quickly. "Pig:" Master, what should we do? Even Monkey is no match for it, and I'm anxious again. "Tang Priest:" This monkey is so fucking useless. It seems that I have to make it for the teacher myself. Jason Wu, bring my mobile phone. " Friar Sand handed over his mobile phone and dialed a number with Tang Priest. The Tang Priest said stiffly, "Hello ~ ~ Is this Sister Guanyin? I'm Sanzang ~ ~ I'm stuck with a smelly monster now. Please come and help me. What? You're going to the sauna, there's no time! Well ~ ~ you are good or bad! If anything happens to me, who will accompany you at night! Oh! You have to teach me a spell! Okay, okay, I remember. Goodbye, dear. " Facing the monster, the Tang Priest said, "Golly, wow, Chen Wenjing, I am your mother!" The monster was enchanted and stopped. Tang Priest patted his mobile phone and said, "Technology is demonized, and Nokia mobile phones are great! Friar Sand asked, "Master, what about Brother Monkey?" ? "Tang Priest:" This monkey looks useless, but it really came and died. Bajie, the old way. "Pig eight quit to run to the Monkey King's side and fart with his ass pointing at the Monkey King's head. The Monkey King: "I copy! It stinks! " Then he bounced off the ground. As soon as the Monkey King saw the monster stop moving, he rushed up and killed it. Tang Priest: "Wait a minute! Wukong, don't kill it. We should give young people who have lost their feet a chance to turn over a new leaf. "the Monkey King:" Master, your idea is good, but if you let it follow us, don't we give it free food and drinks! Tang Priest: "You monkey head really don't understand." You think if you sell it, you will have money to go to the window of the world in Changsha. "the Monkey King three people shouted:" ok? ! Master is wise! " Tang Priest: "It's getting late, let's hit the road! "So the four men followed the monster and sang," You smoked, I drank wine, ate, drank and gambled. How happy we were on the road ... "They went further and further, and finally disappeared into the sunset glow.

Kung Fu Zhao Benshan: My family has an old pig with black background and white flowers. One morning, he suddenly flew forward at a speed of 80 miles per hour and crashed into a tree and died. Excuse me, what is this? Tang Priest: That pig has poor eyesight. Friar Sand: There may be some mental illness. The Monkey King: That pig can't make sharp turns. Pig Bajie: You curse! Fan Wei: Please listen to the question. After the Spring Festival, we didn't buy any new year's goods at home, only a pig and a monkey were left. Do you think I should kill the pig or the monkey first? Tang Priest: Kill the monkey first. Fan Wei: So are pigs. Friar Sand: Kill the pig first. Fan Wei: So are monkeys. Wukong and Bajie: When did we ever think like this? Cui Yongyuan: Master Tang, how did you all go to the Western Heaven? Tang Priest: Of course, a big shot like me took a special plane. Cui Yongyuan: Sun Xiao, I heard from Master that you went by special plane? The Monkey King: Yes, I went there by a tractor pulling bricks. Cui Yongyuan: What did you do after you got the scriptures back? Tang Priest: I sign books. This is a lively scene with red flags flying and a sea of people. Cui Yongyuan: Is it true, Sun Xiao? The Monkey King: No, I didn't sign the book. Aren't they all free? Take it home and stick it all on the wall, one on the left and one on the right, one on the left and one on the right. (His right hand swings back and forth on his chest) Fan Wei, Red Sorghum Model Team: Monkey step, not a monkey walking, but a monkey walking in a straight line. Pig Bajie: Teacher Fan, I think whether a monkey can walk in a straight line depends entirely on the monster. If the monster turns a corner and the monkey walks in a straight line, are you talking about the blind monkey walking in a straight line? (Wukong goes after Bajie and hits him) Yesterday, today and tomorrow Cui Yongyuan: I heard that there was a conflict on your way to learn from the scriptures? How did you solve it? The Monkey King: After a show of hands by Bajie and Friar Sand, everyone agreed that I Cui Yongyuan: You are right. The Monkey King: Apologize to Master! Cui Yongyuan (turning to Tang Priest): Apologize must come from Master. Tang Priest: That night, Mao Mao knocked on my door. As soon as I opened the door, I stared at me and insisted on reciting a poem for me: Ah! Master, Wukong apologizes to you. When I come to your door, please open your eyes and see how pathetic I am. Today, how can you and I repeat yesterday's story, and whether my old boat ticket can still board your wrecked ship! Cui Yongyuan: Sun Xiao, what happened? The Monkey King: (covering his face shyly) The sound of the waves is still there! Princess Iron Fan: People say that you have a jade-faced fox outside. Is it true?/You don't say. Niu Wangmo: Forget it. If she is beautiful, it's worth it! That fox is uglier than you. Princess Iron Fan: Niu Wangmo: Ah. No, she's not as ugly as you! Princess Iron Fan: Niu Wangmo: I mean, you are uglier than her! Princess Iron Fan:. Niu Wangmo: I'm sorry, madam. I always hurt your self-esteem. . . Princess Iron Fan: I know exactly what kind of man you belong to, old cow-you definitely belong to the kind that goes looking for trouble! Guanyin: How do you feel about being arrested in the South China Sea? Black bear monster: me. . . I regret it! You say that I am a seven-foot man who can't do well, how can I become a thief? Guanyin: I wish I knew. Black bear monster: it is better to grab the road. Guanyin: Heart Disease (the Monkey King is crushed by Wuxing Mountain) Tathagata: Wukong, life is counted with your fingers, and it takes 36,000 days. Just like a meteor in the sky, it comes and goes in a hurry, swishing-it doesn't matter if you say no, there are thousands of tall buildings and you sleep three feet. No matter how good the heavenly palace is, it is only a temporary residence; This mountain is your permanent home. (Wukong "grunts" and draws it away) Zhao Benshan: Needless to say, I know what you are doing on the Buddhist paradise road. Pig Bajie: Then tell me what I do. Zhao Benshan: You are the big boss in business-Pig Bajie: What? Zhao Benshan: That's impossible. Pig Bajie: Hey, the big boss has become a monk? Zhao Benshan: I see, and you are. Somebody! Tang Priest: Hey, how do you know that he is a burden bearer? Zhao Benshan: Big head and thick neck, either rich or porters!