The most awesome connotation in history

The most awesome connotation in history

In everyday life, many people have heard of connotative jokes, mainly yellow jokes, red jokes, black jokes, cold jokes, gray jokes, Chinese jokes, close-up performances and so on. The following is the most awesome connotation paragraph in history that I collected for you, hoping to help you.

The most awesome connotation in history

1. In the restaurant, customer: What is "killing husband"?

Attendant: Pat the cucumber with a knife.

Customer: What about Lao Wang next door?

Attendant: Braised eggplant.

Customer: What about the ex-boyfriend?

Attendant: Flammulina velutipes.

2. It's 1 1 month. How can there be a woman riding a bike in a short skirt and stockings? Isn't it cold? Anyway, why are there telephone poles in the street? Very headache.

3. Lu Xun wrote: "There are two trees in my yard, one is jujube and the other is jujube."

Extended reading:

Laughing miserably. nei han xiao hua

1, whenever I feel poor and ugly. I always tell myself silently, don't be sad, at least, my judgment is accurate!

Do you know why shredded potatoes cut with a knife are more delicious than those rubbed with tools? Because, the shredded potatoes cut with a knife can occasionally taste meat! Forget it. Find a band-aid

3. Today, I changed a recent photo to be my avatar, and asked me why! It's cold. I'm afraid my head will catch cold.

4. If you find someone suddenly looking at your space homepage, he (she) may not miss you or secretly love you, maybe he (she) is giving people around him an example to explain what SB is!

5. Others took selfies and said that they were fat again. The comments they received were: The fatter, the more beautiful! I took a selfie and said I was fat again. The comment I got was: We are not blind.

6. At the weekend, I have a difficult choice: whether to warm the bed with an empty stomach or go out to buy frozen food?

7. I waited in line for the listening test, but I didn't hear the doctor call my number all day. What happened?

Connotation paragraph

1, many people left work today and left in a hurry. I met a girl by chance, and she looked at me angrily.

I said weakly: beauty, we already have skin relatives.

She slapped me and said, I'll give you a kiss!

Stop it! My face hurts!

Chatting with my boyfriend, I asked him, "Will you pick me up every day, rain or shine?"

These idiots actually said, "Can you guarantee to go to work rain or shine every day?"

I am speechless.

3. In the street, a couple were walking on the road. Suddenly, a strange man rushed out and took out a card and said to the man, "There is 5 million in this card. Please give me your girlfriend."

"Who are you? Stop fucking making trouble here and get out!" The man took the card and turned to his girlfriend next to him.

Deep connotation paragraph

1, flash marriage with his wife, married for three months and gave birth to a lovely boy with his wife. Faced with other people's pointing fingers, I really can't help but argue with my wife. It takes at least nine months for someone else to give birth. Look at you. Wife: "How many months have I known you?" "Three months!" "How many months have you known me?" "Three months!" "How many months have you been married?" "Three months!" How about a * * *? "Nine months!" "Oh, that's true. Honey, I'm sorry, I misunderstood you. "

2. Today, my wife came home and said happily to her husband: Husband, I am pregnant! My husband was very excited and asked with surprise: Oh, my God, you are pregnant in one month? Then the wife got shy. Answer: You don't have to talk about the process if you are happy!

3. My wife loves meat and is worried about getting fat. On this day, she said to her husband very anxiously, "Honey, if I eat like this, do you think I will become like a pig?" Husband smiled and comforted her: "How is it possible? No matter how fat, there are only two legs! " "

My wife woke me up and told me that my husband had a nightmare. I asked, what did you dream? The wife said: I dream that we are all getting old, husband, I don't want you to get old! I was a little moved and asked her why she didn't want me to be old. The wife said: it is not good to beat the old man. I ......

Healing mood connotation joke

1. A very beautiful woman. Holding a bag in one hand. Holding a drink in one hand. Walk into the examination room. A male invigilator asked, "Are you here for shopping or for an exam?" Beauty is weak: I'm here to invigilate.

Recently, the workload is heavy, and I often feel hungry and don't want to eat snacks, so I often go to the fruit stand near the market to buy fruit. There are many people in the dormitory, so I always buy ten catties. I went to buy half a box of oranges this afternoon. At the checkout, the little girl selling fruit whispered to me, "I have a boyfriend ..."

When I saw a man and a woman say "idiot" on TV, I suddenly felt so warm and happy. In order to make my husband say "idiot" gently, I did a stupid thing on purpose. My husband gave me a white look and said "stupid". Alas ~ TV series can't enter reality after all.

The old man worked in the field and his skin was tanned by the sun. After he came home, the old lady asked with concern: Is it hot in the field? The old man said emotionally that it was hot. I'm going to the fields. What did you say?/Sorry? ! Since then, the old man's health is getting worse every day, and the old lady's voice is hoarse.

Hilarious classic connotation segment

1, M: Hello?

Woman: Hey, I want to tell you that I'm pregnant!

M: It's been a year and five months since we broke up. The baby in your belly has nothing to do with me!

Woman: I know, I just want to tell you that you are the one who is infertile!

On Valentine's Day, I took my girlfriend to eat steak. My girlfriend repeatedly told the waiter, "Be familiar."

I wondered, "Don't you usually eat it medium?" You like the soft taste, which is ripe and too hard. "

My girlfriend looked me in the eye and said, "I just want to eat hard tonight."

3. My colleague's wife ate instant noodles with ham sausage. She ate all the noodles, said the ham sausage was not edible, and then gave it to her colleagues.

A colleague dropped three-quarters of the ham in one bite. At this time, his second-rate wife said: If you are a woman, it is estimated that all men like you!

4. Tang Priest: Wukong, go to the front and get some vegetarian dishes, because the teacher is hungry. By the way, find out what is ahead.

Wukong: Master, dozens of miles in front of Fiona Fang are full of cucumber fields!

Tang Priest: Oh, you must have arrived in the country of girls. Come, help the teacher.

Laughing miserably. nei han xiao hua

1. My girlfriend broke up after a long talk. I asked her why.

She said, you are like a child, naive.

I refuse to accept it. Didn't you say I was mature when I first met you?

She gave me a contemptuous look and said, I didn't say anything about your character.

2. A man invited a beautiful woman to eat hot pot, and the beautiful woman ordered a big table of mutton rolls, beef rolls, hairy belly and louvers. ......

After dinner, the man wants to send the beautiful woman home. The beauty blushed and said, "If you take me directly to get a room after dinner, I will definitely refuse, but I didn't expect you to be a gentleman, so I am willing to get a room with you!" Looking at the man's burning eyes, the man shouted in the night wind with the remaining 5 yuan money: "Can you die if you don't eat so much?" You've eaten all the money for the room!

3.M: I am most opposed to domestic violence, which will affect my feelings!

Woman: Hmm!

M: Am I right?

Woman: Hmm!

M: I will be good to you in the future!

Woman: Hmm!

Man: Can you stop hitting me in the future?

Woman: Huh?

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