202 1 Weibo's hilarious joke.

1. Before, my mother hit me: "Don't call me mom, I don't have a mom like you."

When I feel lonely, I will hold the lucky cat to my chest. It kept patting my chest and felt that a girl was coquetry with me.

The female passenger next to me was so noisy that I couldn't stand it, so I said to her, "Can you let me sleep?" She waved and slapped me in the face: "rogue!" "

4. "I support you." This is what my father said, but this is the first half of the sentence, and the second half is "draw a hammer!" "

5. "How was the blind date yesterday?" "There are fish, meat and chicken. The food is very good. " "How are you?" "Too busy to eat ..."

6. Lying in bed at night, I suddenly thought of a series of philosophical questions: Who am I? Where is the land I come from? Where's my money?

7. I drank some wine and drove last night and was stopped by the traffic police. I was asked to measure the alcohol concentration. I took out my lighter with a brainwave, sighed at the same time, and repelled the traffic police with fireballs.

8. Why do many boys like girls with big breasts? God replied: because we laugh ourselves.

I remember Wang Sicong said, "When I make friends, I don't care whether he has money or not. Anyway, he is not as rich as me. " This kind of confidence is actually very similar to mine, because I never care how poor he is when I make friends, and he is not as poor as me anyway.

10. once I asked my friend, what is your aunt doing back for the new year? The friend blurted out, "Come back with a lighter."

1 1. As a Taobao/Taobao seller, I received an unprecedented reason for returning goods: the article number does not match the eight characters!

12. My wife asked me to buy an L-shaped sofa. I just bought a lowercase one. Why does she look so pale?

13. Once after class, the boy at the front desk suddenly turned his head and said, "I want to marry you ..." After that, he was choked by saliva, and the second sentence was "the life of a dog".

14. I found a very contradictory problem: the first step in applying for a loan from the bank is to prove to the bank that I am quite rich.

15. A prisoner was shot. Because the bullets were made in a fake factory, the first shot didn't go out and the second shot didn't go out. Then the third shot and the fourth shot ... The prisoner cried and said, "Brother, you strangle me, it's too fucking scary."

16. Q: Why did Cao Cao appreciate Guan Yu? A: Because Guan Yu was the first man who blushed when talking to him.

17. Hua,,,, Zhou Zhiruo ... all tell us a truth: when your girlfriend and wife wear eyeliner, smoky makeup and dark lipstick, they often need to enlarge their strokes.

18. "Doctor, my ... ass hurts a little." "Come, let me see, you this is the loss of new comrades ..."