The most classic funny words

1. As a typical failure, you are too successful.

2. Finally, the mist and rain from the south of the Yangtze River covered the world. After letting Hua give up, it was only a moment, and the mountains and rivers were silent forever.

3. I heard that there are only two kinds of people in the world, that is, men and women...

4. For my Audi, your Dior, and our children’s Oreos. effort! struggle!

5. What is cruel? For a man, I would break three of his legs; for a male dog, I would break five of his legs.

6. Let some people get rich first, and then eliminate those who cannot get rich, and finally achieve universal prosperity.

7. Happy days are days when you are full and go to bed.

8. You get what you pay for, and you won’t feel hungry after eating porridge...

9. I would like to turn into an angry bird and crash into those pigs.

10. I want people all over the world to know that I am very low-key...

11. The biggest difference between doing something and not doing it: the latter has the right to comment on the former.

12. When you meet a man with the "three no's" - no initiative, no rejection, and no commitment, then be a "three no" woman - ignore, ignore, and don't take the bait.

13. Life is a hundred times crueler than comics. It has placed countless fat tigers around you who like to bully you, countless tough men who like to laugh at you, and Yijing who you can never catch up with, but it never thought of giving you a real Doraemon.

14. After the age of thirty, men are busy pretending to be mature and women are busy pretending to be young.

15. Life is like Angry Birds. When you fail, there are always a few pigs laughing.

16. Life is like Zeng Yike. If you go off track from the beginning, you will never come back.

17. The heart is a house with two bedrooms, one for pain and one for happiness. People can't laugh too loud, otherwise they will wake up the pain next door

18. An IBM interview question, with a monthly salary of 80,000, people with a monthly salary of 90 got it wrong. Can you answer it correctly? 1 2*3=, don’t think too much, answer immediately

19. I have been in elementary school for ten years and middle school for twelve years. I was rated as the most familiar face in the school. When new teachers come, they all ask me about the school. Inside story...

20. I haven’t been in a very good mood lately, and I plan to go to heaven to relax tomorrow.

21. When I was a child, I fell down. No matter whether it hurts or not, I cried first before talking...

22. One slip and he became a famous figure for the ages.

23. I left with a frown on my face, just as I came here with a wink.

24. If marriage is a "grave", then the annual wedding anniversary celebration is a "grave-sweeping".

25. The most beautiful thing in the world is to eat and sleep well.

26. I feel sad for your uncle.

27. Insomnia is because sleep is taken too seriously and you think you will die if you miss one night's sleep.

28. Don’t kill yourself while you open your mouth and wave your claws at me.

29. Life rounds us in order to make us roll further.

30. I remembered that someone said they were going to make a sequel to "Flying Swords of Dragon Gate", which would be called "Flying Swords of Dragon Gate". I secretly prayed that I would not shoot the third episode.

31. What is romance? Even if you know she doesn't like you, you still send her 99 roses. ()What is waste? You know she likes you, but you still send her 99 roses.

32. Why did Guan Yu die earlier than Zhang Fei? Answer: Beauty is destined to die...

33. I found that in terms of study, we are just like Big Big Wolf. We appear in an extremely NB manner every semester, and at the end of the semester we appear in a manner that everyone expected. The SB in the middle left the stage, and at the end, he also shouted: I will definitely study hard...

34. One person's loneliness is actually the fault of two people...

35 , I came to this world, and I never planned to go back alive...

36. In order to find the prince, I will kiss all the frogs.

37. The farthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but when I beat away the Japanese and stood in front of you, you fell in love with a foreigner.

38. January is a rare month when everyone no longer cares about ferry tickets, because they can’t even buy tickets to go home.

39. Anyone can acquiesce to being plagiarized and imitated by you, but can you not make the plagiarism so confusing to the viewers?

40. I envy my friend to have a good friend, and that good friend is me...

41. It’s not that I look down on you, but that I don’t care about you at all.

42. The person shitting on your head may not be your enemy, it may also be your neighbor upstairs.

43. I asked you, kid, can you stand taller when you look at me? My neck will be sore if I always look down at you.

44. I think there are all bears in the world. A bear.

45. Who said "frustration" is wealth? Do you want some?

46. If you are nice to me, I can’t help but bully you.

47. There is an idiom called "twists and turns". Can anyone explain how it grows?

48. God has not given me any great responsibility, but it still tortures my mind and strains my muscles and bones.

49. I usually never go upstairs because there is an elevator...

50. I ordered a portion of shark fin fried rice, but I couldn’t find the shark fin with three pairs of chopsticks. Can you tell me where the shark fin is? The chef said, my name is shark fin.

51. I can give up the choice, but I cannot choose to give up.

52. With your ability to understand, you may not understand even if I explain it, so you can continue to be confused.

53. When a man applied for a job, the female manager asked him what his specialties were. The man said: "The lower body is special." The female manager: "Rogue, dirty..." The man said angrily: "Who is a gangster, who is dirty, I said what's wrong with my long legs..."

　54. When I think about 2012 coming, and when I think about the money I still owe to the bank, I can laugh out of my dreams!

55. If a person doesn’t push himself, he won’t know how good he is...

56. Once you learn to break the jar, you will find that the world suddenly becomes brighter. .

57. The house we live in is riddled with holes. If it rains, I will die. It rains lightly outside, and it rains heavily in the house. It rains heavily, and sometimes it rains so much that the whole family is Go to the street to take shelter from the rain...

58. Youth is like mahjong, you either shoot off or touch yourself. How many otakus and rotten women have exhausted all their mechanisms just to enjoy the moment of being overthrown.

59. An extraordinary appearance is important even to beasts.

60. A man stood on the beach and said to the sea: Ah, mother. At this time, a huge wave came and knocked the man down. The man was lying on the beach, spitting out sand and saying: Bah, stepmother!

61. My phone hasn’t rang in a month. I took it to be repaired today, but the repairman said that the phone was not broken, but no one had called in for more than a month. I immediately knelt down in front of the repairman. , begged him to stop talking.

62. I am cute and responsible. What mistake did I make?

63. I recently discovered a magical medicine that can make people forget their worries, and that is the smell of enemies...

64. The so-called difference in values ????is that if you give a candle, someone will feel If you are missing a cake, some people will feel that you are missing a whip.

65. It’s so cool to have a husband, but to still score goals with a goalkeeper!

66. If I hadn’t been able to defeat you, I would have fallen out with you long ago...

67. Before I met you, my world was black and white. After meeting you, wow, All black.

68. There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don’t.

69. Tell me, do you want to die or no longer want to live?

70. The so-called beauties are actually slaves to cosmetics, so I don’t like slaves...

71. Use your 2B pencil to describe your life.

72. No news can be believed until it is officially denied.