Daily joke highlights _ classic light humor jokes highlights

The principle of jokes is to try to find similarities or related points between ontology and vehicle, which makes people feel that the metaphor is clever, and among them, people can't help but feel the collective wisdom of the people. The following is the information about the daily jokes I compiled for you for your reference!

Jokes selected every day

Funny Kinda Guy

When I was a child, I once broke an altar of white wine on the floor at home. My mom got up to get the mop's neutral position, and my dad said,? Well, the wine evaporates with a lighter, hahaha ~?

So there was a fire in my house that day.

expect

Lawyers expect you to sue, doctors expect you to get sick, mechanics expect you to have an accident, and only thieves expect you to have a lot of money.

Will play

I saw a news that a man was watching his girlfriend's live broadcast and talking to mistress. ...

lonely

I can think of some loneliness. Go to KTV with a group of people I don't know very well. I have no confidence in singing, I can't drink, and I have some social phobia.

At this time, I took out my mobile phone to play and kept opening various social apps, but there was no news. I wanted to find a chance to leave, but I gave up because I was afraid to say hello to others.

When it's over, someone asks your name.

make a touch

My cousin wants to buy a house, so she came to borrow money from me. When she left, she said to me, Brother, I will definitely pay you back when you get married. ?

Hehe, say if you don't want to pay back the money!

reason

Today, after work, an employee came to see me, saying that my girlfriend from a different place was coming in the evening and asked for a day off tomorrow.

Haha, this spicy chicken, if I hadn't just met him in the bath center, I would have fucking believed it!

Daily joke selection 2

cheat

A phone call said that I won the 200,000 grand prize.

This is obviously a liar, so I will play the fool and sell crazy and fight with the liar.

Half an hour later, the liar hung up in a rage. I'm very proud. My mother called: son! Someone just said you were kidnapped! I called you, but the line was busy. I really thought you were kidnapped, so I gave him a ransom of 50 thousand yuan! ?

secret

In previous years, my father and four brothers always hid in the room to discuss something after the New Year's Eve dinner. Later, when my brothers get married, they will also attend.

I thought it was mysterious before, and I guessed that they were on a mission unknown to their family.

Later, I got married and finally joined this mysterious group. In just three hours, I learned 365 ways to hide private money.

memory

A one-legged zoologist came to the school to give a lecture today. He said: to prove that the fish's memory is only 7 seconds, I hit a big fish on the head with a stick, but it didn't escape far. I guess it forgot after 7 seconds, but it didn't and attacked my left leg. ?

? So, you paid a heavy price for science, proving that some fish have more than seven seconds of memory?

? I proved that crocodiles are not fish. ?

remind

I said to my father: don't smoke. Look at the cigarette case. Smoking is harmful to your health. ?

He smiled: Didn't your winter vacation homework also say Happy Holidays?

Learning course

Looking through the basic course of probability theory, the examples and exercises in it are simply gambling from entry to mastery.

introverted

Shy introverts are like slow-loading web pages.

There may be great content, but few people are willing to wait that long.

Daily joke selection iii

An incorrect/illogical sentence

In life, we often inadvertently say some sick sentences, such as? Although my man has no money, he is single-minded? This is a typical ill sentence.

What is the correct expression? My man is single-minded because he has no money? .

Madame

Most men in the village have gone out to work. Xiaoming's family is too poor to marry, but he insists on farming at home for many years.

At the end of the year, all the men who went out to work in the village came back, and everyone pooled their money to marry Xiaoming. ...

protest

I haven't made out with my wife for a long time. Today, she suddenly said: What do you mean, if you get married, you will never finish it! ?

see a doctor

? Doctor, I have a sore throat! ?

? Have you had your period?

? Hmm. ?

Guessing characters

Last night, my wife wrote on my back with her finger and asked me what it was. I guessed several times, but I didn't get it right.

The wife said coldly:? So you really don't know? Die? How to write! ?

After hiding my private money? Dad? Fell on the coffee table.

differentiate

High school exams go light? Don't have too much pressure.

College exams are packed? I'm completely unprepared.