Funny copywriting that makes people laugh out loud

1. An old man fainted as soon as he got on the bus. As a conductor, I couldn't just sit back and watch. I tried my best to revive the old man and asked him to pay for the ticket.

2. My girlfriend said on WeChat that she wanted to break up with me. Reason: She said my typing was too ugly!

3. A girl confessed her love to her boyfriend. He said: I have a girlfriend. If you don’t believe me, I’ll show you. The girl looked sad! The male god took out his mobile phone and pointed it at the girl. The girl looked at her appearance reflected on the black screen and shed tears of happiness! The male god was surprised and looked at his phone. Male God: Sorry, I forgot to turn on the phone!

4. Me: "Why do they pay after they finish eating? They ask me to pay after I order." The owner of the barbecue restaurant: "You are alone, I am afraid you will run away."

5. "Do you like my angelic face or devilish figure?" "I just like your sense of humor."

6. Dad: "If you fail the exam again this time, don't tell me You know me." Xiao Ming came back from the exam and just walked in. "How did you do on the exam?" Xiao Ming: "Who are you?" 7. My son is one year old and he finally spoke to me. , the first sentence turned out to be "Call daddy".

8. Today my daughter-in-law said to me seriously: "You must quit smoking for me!" I said more seriously: "Smoking is like I like you. I will never be able to quit smoking in this life. !” My wife was very happy after hearing this and gave me five yuan to buy cigarettes. I was so smart and got another huge sum of money!

9. My wife asked me sweetly: "Dear, why did you marry me in the first place?" I smiled slightly: "To eliminate harm for the people!" 10. In the evening, my wife and I sat on the sofa and watched TV. My wife asked me: If one day I become blind, will you take care of me for the rest of my life? I scratched the bridge of her nose: "Fool, of course!" Wife: Honey, I can’t see now. Can you bring me the potato chips in my bag? 11. Robber: "Tell me the password to the safe! I won't kill you!" Female staff: "I won't tell you even if I kill you! You ruined me. I won't tell you either!" The robber looked her up and down and said: " You think beautifully!”

12. I really envy you ugly people. When you are heartbroken, you can at least say “Who made me ugly” to comfort yourself.

13. I just went to eat Haidilao. While queuing up, someone was arguing and fighting on the opposite side of the road, so I stood at the door and watched. Then a waiter moved a stool to me and gave it to me. After bringing some refreshments, he told me that they had sent someone to find out what the fight was about. Let me wait a moment.

14. "If you were given 10,000 billion yuan and asked to press a button and travel to a void space to spend alone for 500 million years, would you press it? "An average of 20,000 yuan a year, do you want to be a beggar?"

15. I rarely ate instant noodles when I was a child, and it took a long time to eat them. I feel so good every time I eat it, and I think: I must eat it every day when I grow up. As a result... now the wish comes true!

16. Borrowing a friend's car to drive, the friend said that he should put gas in the car when returning it. When I returned the car, I applauded.

17. There are many ways to make your wife happy, such as giving gifts, going shopping with you, making delicious food, doing housework, etc. But there is only one way to make your husband happy, and that is "Tonight Go back to my mom’s house and stay at home by yourself!”

18. Before the game, the reporter interviewed the German team: “Why do you only practice at half court?” “Half court is enough. You can play anyway.” It’s in the opponent’s half!” The reporter asked a certain national team: “Why do you only practice in the half court? It’s enough to play in our half anyway!”

Nineteen. I went home during the college vacation and cooked a table of delicious food. My dad said, "Let's eat freely. Just treat it as your own home."

Two

10. The principal held a meeting and said: "Last year, the students in the first grade of junior high school were responsible for cleaning the playground. This year, it is time to change it.

The second grade students will do the cleaning. Classmates, please be responsible. "

21. Don't laugh at other people's brain short-circuit. At least they still have power in their brains, but your battery has been damaged a long time ago and you can only use it to replace the kitchen knife and washbasin.

Twenty-two. One stall was very busy, so I went over to take a look. What I heard shouting over there was: Oranges are on sale, two pounds for one dollar.

Two yuan

Three kilograms,

Three yuan

Four kilograms...

Five yuan

Six pounds, come and buy it. It was so cheap that I spent

five yuan and bought

six pounds. When I got home, my wife praised me for buying it cheaply.

Twenty-three. There is always a group of invisible friends, lying like dead people in your friend list, and occasionally changing their epitaphs.

24. I never envy those who drive luxury cars. Because my car is more expensive than theirs, and that was the shopping cart my wife gave me!