The father asked his son what jokes he had learned.

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What's the funniest joke you've ever heard about fathers and children?

What's the funniest joke you've ever heard about fathers and children?

Chen is very good

Reading volume: 158

Release date: July 25th, 2022 13: 52: 30.

consultant

Youth education instructor

15 guidance experience for teenagers

Tutor of Yin Jianli Parent School

Popular answer

Cold in the sky 42 1

TA received more than 1 10 likes.

Son: "Dad, do you think time is more important or money is more important?"

Me: "Of course, time is very important."

Son: "then let's go to the supermarket to buy toys." Although it is cheap to buy online, it will take several days. "

Thank you for your answer.

There is a two-year-old baby at home, and a conversation with my parents is so funny.

Dad: Baby, what's your name?

Bao dad teased the baby and said

The baby answered loudly and seriously: My name is Logger Vick!

Dad asked again: What's the name of the primer?

The baby changed the answer this time: call dad!

Her father was crying and laughing, reaching out to tease her. "Come on, come on, I'll tickle you if you don't say it again." The baby still doesn't change his mind. "Call dad, call dad." Haha, this child is so funny.

The joke between father and son is really funny: the son ran home after running 4 kilometers in the high school sports meeting. I asked, "How was the grade?" A: "Second place". I gave him a bonus without saying anything. His sister said, "It seems that there are not many people in the finals, right?" "Yes, it's just me and the tall man in the final!" Suddenly, the whole family burst into laughter!

1, asked his three-year-old son, "Baby, do you think dad or mom look good?" The son said: Dad looks good! Me: Why? Son: "Because people say I look like my father."

2. Once, my son asked me, "Why can whales grow so big and grass carp grow so small?" I explained, "Because whales live in the sea and grass carp live in fish ponds, the sea is much bigger than fish ponds. Of course, whales are much bigger than grass carp. " Later, my son took me and begged, "Dad, let's buy a big house, so I won't grow tall."

3. Son: Today, a classmate got a hundred points in the exam, and the teacher rewarded him with a lot of sugar. Dad: Then you have to refuel, and you will get candy if you get 100% in the exam. Son: I'm not stupid. I can't get a hundred points in the exam. Dad:? Son: His candy was robbed by our classmates.

In the evening, my child (4 years old) is watching TV. I teased her: Dad was fired today. What if he can't make money in the future? Xiong Haizi immediately got excited: So you can't afford the tuition? Must I study? I hate reading!

When I was in college, my father said to me, son, I only want two things when you go to college. First, I am lazy and don't want to go out, so don't let your teacher invite parents. Second, I am still young and don't want to be a grandfather.

In the process of children's growth, the father will always be the patron saint of children's hearts. Rain or wind, they are not afraid. They grew up healthily in happiness, and many jokes and stories happened, which added some color to their lives. Let's take a look at some funny jokes about father and son. Pay attention to the last one! Ha ha laugh ...

1, son: I heard that men in some African countries don't know their wives until they get married. Is it true?/You don't say.

Father: Not only in Africa, but all over the world.

Sister-in-law asked her nephew, "Your Chinese is too poor. I made you write these words 10 times. Why did you only write it eight times? "

The little nephew said slowly, "Because I'm not good at arithmetic either."

There seems to be nothing wrong with this. ...

When my father-in-law came home, we blew cows for a long time. He asked, do you have a cigarette?

I shook my head.

He asked again: Do you have any wine?

I shook my head again.

As soon as he struck the table, he said, I wouldn't buy it without you!

I said, if your daughter hadn't taken care of all the money, you think I would be here talking to you for a long time!

He: You. . . If your mother wasn't in charge of all my money, I would come here to gossip for you. !

Recently, the news of the college entrance examination is everywhere on TV and online.

So my niece asked me, "Aunt, why didn't you take the college entrance examination?"

I blushed, and then said with regret, "Your grandfather's family is poor. . . . ″

As a result, the door opened with a bang, and my dad yelled at me: I'm not carrying this pot!

I was playing mobile phone by the roadside, and a middle-aged woman came over.

Middle-aged woman: "Do me a favor, just pity the child and get him something to eat?"

Me: "Go away, can't you see I'm busy!" " "

Middle-aged woman: "Look how pitiful the child is crying ..."

Me: "He stopped crying when he was tired of crying. Go away and leave me alone! " "

The middle-aged woman turned her head and walked away slowly, saying to herself, "I've never seen such a cruel mother, and it doesn't matter if the child cries like that!" " I know how to play mobile phones! "

..... Shit, I forgot, that's my son!

6. Mom is on a business trip and Dad cooks. One day, the son asked, Dad, what's for lunch? Dad: It's not over yet. Who knows if it's burnt, raw or cooked?

7. A girl is in the third grade of primary school. Her mother bought her a new pencil case. Two days later, she found the pencil case missing and asked where she had gone. The girl calmly replied, "It's a breakup fee for her boyfriend ..."

8. My classmate was surprised to tell me that he handed in a blank sheet of paper and got 15. He bravely reminded the teacher whether he had made a mistake. The teacher told him seriously: This is a neat roll. ...

9. Father and son listen to music around the radio. Son: Mozart's music is great! Father: Son, you don't understand this. This is Beethoven's symphony! The announcer Qu Bi said: Thank you for listening to Northeast Yangko.

10, dad was sitting on a bench in the park, absorbed in reading the newspaper, and his son who was playing suddenly pointed to the sky and said, dad, plane! Dad said casually without looking up, be careful, don't touch it with your hands!

1 1. I have a son who is in junior high school, and I still don't know what sanitary napkins are. One day, I was watching TV at home and there was an advertisement for sanitary napkins. It was a beautiful woman riding a bicycle. She murmured, "I'm not afraid to move." My son asked me what a sanitary napkin is. Then I secretly told him: "It's a tire repair!"

12, the child said to his father: What is the difference between being stingy and being frugal? ? Father said: Of course! For example, I bought a pair of shoes at a reduced price, frugal, and bought a pair of shoes at a reduced price for your mother, stingy.

13 while opening a can of sardines, the mother said to her son, "Do you know that sometimes the big fish in the sea will swallow this small fish in one gulp?" The son asked, "How can a big fish open a can?"

14, son: "The teacher said it was illegal for the father to beat his son." ? Dad: "Idiot! The teacher said the national law, and I beat you with the family law. "

15, son: "Dad, what is Historical Records?" ? Dad: "Idiot, rote memorization means rote memorization, you can't master it flexibly, understand!" " "

These funny experiences, maybe we have some personal experiences. Looking back now, it was really fun! We also thank our parents for giving us a warm home so that we can thrive. From primary school to college, and finally married and married, there are parents behind them. This road is full of bittersweet melody. ...

On the importance of reading.

There is a father and son drinking tea together.

The son asked: Why should I study?

Father replied: Let me tell you! After reading the book and drinking this tea, you will say: this tea soup is bright orange and smells blue. The taste is full and pure, round and poetic. Sweet aftertaste, fragrant teeth and cheeks, full of charm. I feel like a dream, like a family in heaven. It is the best in tea! And if you don't study, you will say: Wocao, this Longjing tea. It's fucking delicious, lying in the trough

Hello, everyone, please accept your own humorous jokes. The following are humorous jokes about fathers and children, dedicated to everyone and wishing everyone happiness.

1. happy event-Father's Day

My daughter came home from kindergarten and showed me an animated film with the theme of Father's Day. Then she said, "Dad, I drew this myself and gave it to you. Wish you a happy holiday. You have worked hard. " This made me so happy that I picked her up and kissed her deeply: "Thank you for being so sensible." Seeing that I was so happy, my daughter went on to say, "Dad, can I buy the toy you promised me?" "Well, well ... yes, I'll buy it tonight ..." Obviously, I was caught off guard. At this point, my daughter wishes me happiness and comes to an end temporarily.

2. happy event-study hard

On Father's Day, an old farmer drove a bull to plow the fields. A calf seems to have just come back from school. It went to the bull and said, "Dad, happy holidays, you have worked hard." Hearing this, the bull seemed to be moved and said with tears in his eyes, "Son, I don't deserve the happiness you said, because I have been whipped dozens of times since morning, but it's hard work." Remember what Dad said and study hard. "

3. Happy moments-habitual

Thirteen-month-old son has been walking for a month. Because I am used to holding a pacifier, I can't speak very well, only some very simple expressions. One day, he was very upset and didn't want to feed him or give him toys. He just said "e-e-e-e-e-e", but he didn't know what he wanted to say. We were so anxious to run around. Suddenly, I slipped off the bed, then stumbled into the living room for a while, found a pacifier and stuffed it in my mouth.

Smile, life is beautiful. Please like it if you like it.

I feel that I have heard the funniest joke now: when I was a child, my father took me to ride a bike and my foot got stuck in the rear wheel. My dad thought he couldn't pedal in front, but then … he … stood up … and came to pedal …

I remember coming home from school at noon in junior high school. I thought the blower was on and my father couldn't hear me singing, so he sang in a low voice. Who knew my dad came in and said he had a toothache? !

1. My son doesn't like reading. His father locked him in the study and ordered, "Read this book carefully and think it over, and you will learn something from it!" "

After three days, his father asked him if he had learned anything from books.

The son said solemnly, "You are absolutely right! I studied under your guidance for three days and gained a lot. I see: books are printed! "

2. A man is happy to have his son. When he first learned to speak, he said to his son "Call Dad" every day.

The son also said, "Call Dad".

Over time, my son got into the habit of saying "call dad" when he saw him.

He had no choice, so he began to correct it. Now he says "Dad" to his son every day.

The child is two years old. One day, I hit my head on the corner of the table, grew a bag and cried.

More than a minute, I went to the table and asked loudly:

"Table, who hurt you? Crying so sad? "

Stop crying and look at me with tears in your eyes. I caressed the table and rushed to ask:

"Who's that? Who hurt the table? "

"Me, Dad, I hit it!"

"Oh, you hit it, so bow to the table and say you're sorry!"

The child bowed with tears and said, "I'm sorry.

From then on, I learned responsibility and responsibility!

The child is three years old. Crying for no reason, I asked:

"Why, what's the matter?"

"No discomfort."

"Then why are you crying?"

"I just want to cry!" Obviously coquetry.

"Well, we don't care if you want to cry, but it's inappropriate for you to cry here, which will disturb our conversation. Dad will find you a place where you can cry alone and call us when you have cried enough. "

Then I put my son in the bathroom: "Knock after crying."

Two minutes later, the son knocked at the door: "Dad, Dad, I have finished crying!" " " .

"Well, have you finished crying? Come out after crying. "

Up to now, my son 18 years old has not learned to control and vent his anger!

5, the child is 5 years old. At night, I took my children across the small bridge, where the clear water bottomed out and the undercurrent surged. Look up at me:

"Dad, this river is beautiful. I want to jump in and swim. " I am one leng:

"Well, dad dances with you. But let's go home and change first. "

Come back, change clothes, see a basin of water in front of me, confused.

"Son, when you swim in the water, you should bury your face in the water. Do you understand? " The son nodded.

"Then let's practice now and see how long you can bury it." I looked at my watch.

"good!" Son buried his face in the water, heroic? Only 10 second:

"Bah, dad, choking, so uncomfortable."

"Really? It may be even worse to jump into the river. "

"Dad, can we not jump?"

"Well, don't go or not."

From then on, I learned to be cautious and not rash, and think twice before you act.

6, the child is 6 years old, delicious. One night, after school, I passed McDonald's and stopped:

"Dad, McDonald's!" My mouth is watering.

"Well, McDonald's! Want to eat? "

"I want to eat!"

"Son, if a person wants to eat it, it's called a bear; If you want to eat but can't eat, you are called a hero. "

Then he asked, "Son, are you going to be a hero or a bear?"

"Dad, of course I want to be a hero!"

"good! What happens when the hero wants to eat McDonald's? "

"Can't eat!" Very determined!

"Great, hero! Go home. "

My son is drooling. Come back with me.

From then on, I learned to do something and stand the temptation.

1, I always thought my parents didn't like me very much. Until my 17 birthday, they gave me a bunch of keys.

I was surprised and asked, "Wow! Really ... a car? "

"No, you stay and look after the house-we're going on a trip."

2. The son asked his father, "Dad, what does a farmer's uncle do?"

Dad replied, "Farmers, of course."

The son asked again, "What else can they do besides farming?"

Dad thought for a moment and said, "They can still fight landlords."

My son was imprisoned for a week because he worked too hard in the army.

"What's the matter?"

"On that day, the company commander asked him to dig trenches, and he dug hard until the pit was dug deep. He hopes to get the appreciation of the company commander, who knows that the company commander called him insatiable and afraid of death. "

School is about to start, and my father is bending over for my tuition.

In order to help him share his fatigue, before dawn, I secretly took the melon he had prepared to the market.

There are more and more people. I summon up courage to imitate others and shout loudly: "melon seller, no charge for sweetness!" " "

Some people stopped and looked at me suspiciously, but soon, more and more people were attracted. They gathered around and asked me with a smile, "Little brother, how much is your bitter gourd?"