28 Classic Funny Quotations in One Sentence_Don’t let your sister discharge your brother-in-law, there is a caller ID

1. No one can stop my slow steps towards the door of being late.

2. We may not feel happy when we are in love, or we may be happy but not in love.

3. Classic sentence: Adults who have never been in poverty are always naive without being hit.

4. I am willing to copy other people’s joy and not create my own sorrow.

5. I want to be as thin as lightning and light up all the fat people.

6. What I learned is sacred knowledge, and you actually use scores to measure it. This is simply an insult to academics. tainted! ! !

7. I understand you just like a farmer uncle understands manure.

8. I want to have a pure love with Mo Mo for 5 years, then marry him and live in his house for free for the rest of my life

9. My socks are full of holes, I The future is not a dream.

10. I am in a bad mood today. I just want to say four sentences, including the two sentences above. I have finished what I said.

11. As a foodie, eating doesn’t mean I’m hungry, it’s just because my mouth is lonely.

12. People say that melons that are hard to resist are not sweet, but I like to eat bitter melons.

13. How much I want to talk to you about quality, but I can’t stand you even if I bear shit or piss.

14. When three of your friends are both good. . I am nowhere near normal. . .

15. Hello, aunt, I am your son’s boyfriend!

16. At lunch, a woman asked two of her male colleagues if they wanted to eat tofu. It almost made me spit out my rice.

17. It is said that melons that are forced to resist are not sweet, but I like to eat bitter melons

18. When three of my friends are bad, I can’t be normal. . . .

19. The farthest distance in the world is that when we go out together, you buy an Apple 4 and I buy an Apple 4.

20. I really want to strangle my cowardly and soft-hearted self to death! < /p>

23. Don’t blame your sister for calling her brother-in-law. There is a caller ID

24. I remember that a poet I liked once wrote about the father chasing the sun. He wrote, since he can’t catch up. Then bump into them

25. I can’t see through others’ laughter, but I laugh at others who don’t wear anything.

26. God has given you a pair of wings, so you should be braised

27. One minute you are excited, one hour you like it, one day you fall in love. Forget him, but it will last a lifetime.

28. What’s a mistress? He is just an individual at best. 28 Funny Quotations in One Sentence_You will die laughing without paying for your life

1. I lay on the ground and vomited for a long time before I realized that the old lady I hit had died.

2. Before the execution, the young man yelled in despair: Who the hell told me that killing people will lead to longevity!

3. Old man Feng took the notice of his son's critical illness from the doctor, and then calmly wrote down what he had read.

4. Sometimes when I feel very stressed, I will make instant noodles, shrimp crackers and boneless grandma.

5. I will be on the operating table tomorrow. What show should I perform?

6. After identifying the murderer, the police never let go of the criminal.

7. Wukong shouted to take a stick from my old grandson. King Golden Horn was stunned and opened his mouth.

8. The behavior of whipping corpses shows a very ugly moral issue: bullying honest people.

9. Your Majesty, that monkey broke into Nantianmen and clamored to know who shot him on the stone.

10. The college entrance examination candidate was going to be late for the exam, and the enthusiastic taxi driver sent him to the Internet cafe.

11. The neighbor actually scolded my wife. If it hadn’t been too cold, I would have come out of his closet and beat him.

12. The timid Xiao Ming finally suffered from gallbladder edema after practicing hard for twenty years.

13. My roommate’s birthday is tomorrow. Should I kill him or not?

14. I quarreled with my girlfriend and threatened to wait and see. Now we have watched each other for more than ten miles.

15. Mothballs are the most unpleasant hard candies I have ever tasted. They have a strange taste. Why do people still buy them?

16. When my friends get married, I wish them a child soon, but they tell me to get out. Am I wrong? Is homosexuality a big deal?

17. In order to treat facial paralysis, the doctor downloaded 1GB of emoticon packs for me.

18. How should I abuse a family of children in order to appear on the famous star-making program "Transformation Plan".

19. The fortune teller said that I was destined to be rich and wealthy. It was not until I died that I realized that the billions were just small amounts of money.

20. Boss, do these big fishes have teeth in their mouths? He said no, so I picked the one with the loudest mouth and started taking off his pants.

21. Two bull-headed and horse-faced men suddenly rushed into the classroom and took away Xiao Ming, who was exhausted. The whole class cast envious looks.

22. Guess who I am? Xiao Ming picked up the rope and strangled the teacher's neck.

23. Lao Wang fell into a dry well at the entrance of the village. With the enthusiastic help of the villagers, he finally adapted to life under the well.

24. In order to repay my love for sleeping on my bed every day, I decided to get under the bed and let the bed sleep on me for one night.

25. There have been many wild boars on the way to school recently. Please be careful not to step on wild boar droppings.

26. After carving "loyalty to serve the country" on his back, Yue Fei's mother cut out another one with 3D effect before she had enough fun.

27. After strangling the 500th classmate, Er Sha finally learned to tie a red scarf.

28. Old man Wang, who was eager to have a son, went to the temple to pray to Guanyin Bodhisattva to give him a son. 40 classic funny quotes

1. You are not a VIP, not even an IP, you are just a P.

2. Baituoshan bone-strengthening powder, apply one pack of it after one knife, you are guaranteed to be knifed a second time...

3. Some people are alive, he is dead; some As long as a person is alive, he should have died long ago.

4. If one day my sister becomes really crazy, please tell others that you will live like a lady.

5. When looking at beauties on the street, if you look at them at a higher level, you are appreciating them... At a lower level, you are a gangster.

6. Boss, do you have any Coke? Bring me a bottle of Sprite...

7. Aren’t all men and women equal? ??Why can’t I go to the women’s room?

8. It’s not that I don’t dare to kick you, I’m just afraid The Nikes on my sister’s feet were dirty.

9. Asking what love is in the world, just ask people to take off their clothes.

10. There are many ways to end a friendship, the most radical one is to borrow money and not repay it.

11. Your Majesty: Aunt Rong, why are you making things difficult for Xiao Yanzi and Ziwei in every possible way? What are your intentions, you despicable slave? Aunt Rong knelt on the ground and said with tears: Your Majesty, do you remember Xia Yuhe on the shore of Daming Lake? Do you remember that Aunt Rong who was holding the boat?

12. The farthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but the exam is about to take place. While others are reviewing, I am previewing. What's even more tragic is that others have passed the preview, but you haven't passed the review.

13. Everyone who doesn’t want to fall in love has an impossible person living in his heart!

14. There are two most difficult things in the world: one is to put your thoughts into other people's heads, and the other is to put other people's money into your own pocket. If the former is successful, he can be called the teacher, if the latter is successful, he can be called the boss. If both are successful, he can be called his wife, university or church!

15. If you live, you will die sooner or later; if you die, you will live forever.

16. There is a kind of crash called wrong password input, there is a kind of panic called remote login of account, there is a kind of feeling called invisible and visible, there is a kind of misunderstanding called human-computer offline, and there is a kind of loss called you not having access. Permissions!

17. When you do something right, no one will remember; when you do something wrong, even breathing is wrong!

18. I think China Travel will work, but I won’t pay to see if you can do it.

19. You can’t be found on Baidu, so I have to go to Sogou!

20. When a man is dumped, it’s about money; when a woman is dumped, it’s about appearance. When I was dumped, there’s something wrong with your fucking head.

21. Goods have expiration dates, and people sometimes get tired of them. How long can you be awesome in my heart?

22. People say that my sister is beautiful, but in fact it’s all because of her makeup.

23. People should not be judged by appearance, and mistresses should not be judged by comparison.

24. Every woman will always be humbled by a certain man.

25. Distance does not produce beauty, but the third party.

26. Cucumbers must be photographed and life must be exciting.

27. I smoke because it hurts my lungs, not my heart.

28. If a woman does well, she is a sister-in-law; if she does not do well, she is a bitch.

29. Salary is like a big aunt. It comes once a month and disappears in about a week.

30. Failure is success. Then I have many mothers, but none of them are pregnant.

31. If the teacher hadn’t told you not to litter, I would have thrown you out.

32. Life is like making a phone call. Either you hang up first or I hang up first.

33. Before I met you, my world was black and white. After meeting you, wow! It's all dark...

34. Don't swear to me, I'm afraid you will be struck by lightning! !

35. The most glorious moment of Apple was when it hit Newton on the head.

36. I am dead and will burn paper if I have something to do. Small things summon spirits, big things dig graves. If you really miss me, come down and stay with me. If it goes online, it is purely a corpse transformation.

37. Although you are sprayed with cologne, I can still vaguely smell the smell of scum.

38. You bald donkey, dare to compete with a poor Taoist for your master’s wife?

39. If I die, please give me a sister.

40. There are thousands of men in the world, but if you are unhappy, you will change them every day. 37 classic funny quotations

1. The farthest distance in the world is not life and death, but the exam is about to take place. Others are reviewing, but I am previewing. What's even more tragic is that others have passed the preview, but you haven't passed the review.

2. Before I met you, my world was black and white. After meeting you, wow! All black

3. People should not be judged by their appearance, and mistresses should not be judged by their judgment.

4. Distance does not produce beauty, but the third party.

5. Goods have expiration dates, and people sometimes get tired of them. How long can you be awesome in my heart?

6. You can’t be found on Baidu, so I have to go to Sogou!

7. Use all the soy sauce in the world and make others jealous.

8. If one day my sister becomes very crazy, please tell others that you will live like a lady.

9. In order to be a civil servant, I gave birth to the leader’s son.

10. The most glorious moment of Apple was when it hit Newton on the head.

11. When you look at beauties on the street, if you are high, you are admiring them, but if you are low, you are a gangster.

12. Cucumbers must be photographed and life must be exciting. Yidiandian Quotations Network

13. When you do it right, no one will remember it; when you do it wrong, even your breathing is wrong!

14. Asking what love is in the world, just ask people to take off their clothes.

15. Face is something external to the body, you can want it or not. Money is a necessary thing, you have to have it.

16. There are thousands of men in the world, but if you are unhappy, you will change them every day.

17. Some people are alive, and they are already dead; some people are alive, and they should have died long ago.

18. I smoke because it hurts my lungs, not my heart.

19. If a woman does well, she is a sister-in-law; if she does not do well, she is a bitch.

20. You are not a VIP, not even an IP, you are just a P.

21. If you live, you will die sooner or later; if you die, you will live forever.

22. Baituoshan Bone Strengthening Powder, apply one pack of it once, and you will be stabbed a second time.

23. Failure is success, so I already have many mothers. , but not a single one was pregnant.

24. When a man is dumped, it’s about money; when a woman is dumped, it’s about appearance. When I was dumped, there’s something wrong with your fucking head.

25. Don’t swear to me, I’m afraid you will be struck by lightning! !

26. Every woman will always be humbled by a certain man.

27. Your Majesty, do you remember Xia Yuhe on the shore of Daming Lake, and do you still remember Aunt Rong who was holding the boat?

28. Boss, is there any Coke? Bring me a bottle of Sprite 3

29. I am dead and I have something to burn. Small things summon spirits, big things dig graves. If you really miss me, come down and stay with me. If it goes online, it is purely a corpse transformation.

30. If I die, please give me a sister.

31. Everyone who doesn’t want to fall in love has an impossible person living in his heart!

32. Life is like making a phone call. Either you hang up first or I hang up first.

33. Salary is like a big aunt, once a month, it disappears in about a week.

34. If the teacher hadn’t told you not to litter, I would have thrown you out long ago.

35. I think China Travel will work, but I won’t pay to see if you can do it.

36. People say that my sister is beautiful, but in fact it’s all because of her makeup.

37. Although you are sprayed with cologne, I can still vaguely smell the smell of scum.