What kind of jokes have happened around you?

My son is four years old this year. Once my son pissed me off, and he went to his father to report me for bullying him. Just then, my husband went to the toilet. He couldn't find his father anywhere. I ignored him when he asked me. Finally, the child said loudly, "where did your husband go?" I guess he doesn't want you anymore and went to the supermarket to buy a wife! " When I got married yesterday, a buddy forced a red envelope on me. I will tell him in a reproachful tone what other red envelopes our friendship has received. He smiled and said, I am embarrassed to come without a red envelope ... In the evening, I opened the red envelope he gave me. TM is a lottery ticket bought with two yuan. There is a note saying, Brother, it depends on your character if you miss it. In order to give my husband a little freshness, I bought the latest mermaid sexy suit from the internet and planned to surprise him.

Put on sexy clothes after taking a shower at night, lie on your side in bed, prop up your body and learn to twist like a mermaid.

The husband opened the door and exclaimed, are you sick? It's okay to pretend to be a maggot

Me. . . This fucking day is over! ! !

Someone asked what's the difference between Japanese and English? God replied: when you are kissed by a man, you may stop when you say stop, but when you say flax spy, you may not just kiss.

A: Look, isn't the girl in front cute?

Well, yes, lovely love!

. . . I dare not look at the word cute again.

There is a child at home. When he slept, I felt: so cute, so sweet, so kawaii, so good mother loves you. . . When he woke up, his mind was full of Xiong Haizi, and he hated people.

The key ring is a very practical gadget, which allows you to lose all the keys at once. . . Isn't it?

"Wife, give some pocket money!" "Five dollars a minute." "... well, it's boring to ask for those two dollars. ""get out ... "

Watching TV in the living room at night, my wife is lying in my arms: "I want a husband."

I ignored her and she said, "Just five minutes, okay?"

I sighed and said, "All right, just five minutes. Give it to me after reading it. "

I handed her the remote control and she fucking hit me on the head. . .