A collection of short funny quotes that make everyone laugh.

1. Every time I see you eating pork, I feel very emotional. Originally from the same roots. Why is it too urgent to fry each other?

2. There is a kind of sadness called, I reply to you in seconds, and you reply to me in reincarnation.

3. When I hate someone, if that person suddenly says he likes me, then I don’t hate him at all. I am so principled, because I cannot hate a person with vision.

4. In the past, staying together was a couple, but now staying together is a mobile phone. Once the phone is in your hand, it will last forever. If the phone is not in your hand, your soul will be gone.

5. I just saw a figure that looked very much like you. I ran after him like crazy. Then I remembered that you were not in this city, and I stopped. I put down the brick in my hand and almost hit the wrong person.

6. If you gain three kilograms during the festival, take a closer look at the three kilograms. I worked hard to lose weight for half a year, but before I succeeded, I celebrated the New Year again.

7. There is no such thing as a banquet that lasts forever, but if you treat me, I can eat more with you.

8. You always say that your dreams are out of reach, but you never go to bed early or get up early.

9. I never dreamed that Didi could reach a truck.

10. Staying up late is because you don’t have the courage to end the day; staying in bed is because you don’t have the courage to start the day.

11. If I had known that this was a world where looks were important, I would have spent the money from school on plastic surgery.

12. Some people look elegant and calm on the surface, but secretly check express delivery information several times a day.

13. Some people say that I am ugly. I am very sad and feel sorry for her because she is blind at a young age.

14. Do you know how disgusting you are? When your mother first felt your presence, she threw up, and she kept throwing up for months.

15. The bus is too crowded now. I wanted to fart secretly, but it forced me to burp.

16. I may not be able to lift a hundred kilograms of stones, but if it is a hundred kilograms of personal coins, I will definitely pick it up and run.

17. I should let you know that I love you.

18. Life will make you miserable for a while, and after you adapt, it will make you miserable for the rest of your life.

19. Silence is golden, don’t talk to me, I want to save money.

20. Turning off the lights on the earth for one hour does not save anything at all. How many people can be created by turning off the lights for one hour?

21. A good woman is like gasoline, once she has it, she has power; a bad woman is like an airbag, once she uses it, there is a crisis.

22. If you slightly lower your ideal standards for choosing a mate, you will find that boys who are slightly worse than your ideal type are not attracted to you either.

23. Try to bring together classmates around you, and you will save a lot of money in the future.

24. If you are in a relationship with someone who is big in your circle, you will never have to eat in your life just to be jealous.

25. At the same age as a flower, it has grown into a succulent one.

26. If poverty limits your imagination, why can you still come up with so many ways to save money?

27. When I don’t want to care about you, it’s useless for you to coax me. At this time, you have to give me a red envelope. A collection of beautiful and sad sentences that everyone loves

A collection of beautiful and sad sentences that everyone loves

1. I can get used to everything, but I just won’t get used to not having you. day.

2. I love you so deeply that even missing you is painful.

3. In the past, we smiled together. Today, we are strangers to each other.

4. Who can say these two simple words "good night" to me for a lifetime without falling down?

5. A strong heart is often defeated by a simple comfort, and then bursts into tears.

6. Silence is a girl’s biggest cry.

7. After falling out of love once, I seem to suddenly understand the meaning of all love songs.

8. I’m just a child, don’t let me take on so much, okay? I’ll be tired too.

9. When you are alive, you must be kind to yourself and don’t become an interlude in other people’s lives.

10. Don’t waste your time on people who don’t want to spend time on you.

11. There are two types of men, one puts you in their heart and the other puts you in bed.

12. A woman’s tears are useless liquid, but you are useless if you make a woman cry.

13. The most heartbreaking feeling in the world is when I gave you my heart, but you said it was a lie.

14. I can’t handle my emotions well, I can’t control my heart, and I can’t tell you how sad I am.

15. Flowers bloom and fade, people come and go, even if they are destined to be passers-by, why did we meet each other in the first place.

16. You always emphasize being good to me, so why insist on being better than her? Love is not about pleasing.

17. There seems to be a crack in the relationship, and it cannot be repaired no matter how hard it is.

18. Life is precious because it is limited, and we work hard because it is limited.

19. The street lamp has lost its warmth, and the dim light cannot hide my loneliness. At night alone, I really want to cry loudly.

20. I'm not lost, I'm not hurt, I'm not angry, I'm just a little tired, I'm tired of giving too much and getting too little in return.

21. I have always understood that there are only a few true ones, and even if they are all gone, it doesn’t matter, I still have myself.

22. I can’t handle my emotions well. I can’t control my heart. I can’t tell you how sad I am.

23. Such an ordinary name affects so many emotions in me.

24. Sleeping is my only relief. When I fall asleep, I am not sad, angry, lonely, and feel nothing.

25. I gave you so much love, but in exchange for your ruthless words, we broke up. At that moment, I laughed so hard that I only blamed myself for being stupid!

26. If two people want to be together well, there must be one person who can endure it.

27. One minute my heart beats, one hour I like it, one day I fall in love. Forget her, but it will last a lifetime

28. I thought my tenderness could give you the entire universe, and I thought I could fill the gap in your feelings with all my strength.

29. The simplest words require great courage

30. If you can, please protect yourself. In fact, you can live a good life alone.

31. Without you, even if you give me the world, I still have nothing.

32. I have become silent, sad and reluctant to speak. I have changed a lot. Am I getting closer to you?

33. Those invisible sorrows are always hidden within reach.

34. If he always holds an umbrella for others, why don’t you wait in the rain for him.

35. Silence is an excuse for fear, and giggles are a reason for grievance.

36. Not all expressions must be written on the face, and not everyone can understand them.

37. What I hate is that you say you miss me, but you do nothing

38. Why do you always fail to pay attention? My sky is already full of scars.

39. In fact, I can also understand that once the heartbreak exceeds the limit, it will take many years to heal.

40. From today on, be happy, strong, optimistic, and warm The woman no longer worries anyone.

41. Is there such a person who holds my hand and tells me that he will protect me for the rest of his life?

42. Because you don’t have it, you never worry about losing it; because you want it, you worry about gains and losses.

43. Is there a person who you can’t bear to forget even after exhausting your whole life?

44. When. I love you enough to be able to do it the other way around.

45. What you said all my life, what you said about my love, that I will marry you in the future, is still being recalled in fairy tales.

46. Even if you are full of expectations, you will also be disappointed and defeated.

47. If you leave, if I give up, if you come back, I hope I am still there.

48. The eternal alliance you mentioned would never let go, but the moment you turned around, everything vanished.

49. Because there is a reason, there is no longer a reason. Since we don't get along, then please break up!

50. Under the ravages and destruction of time, I finally became a fearless person who is invulnerable to all poisons. 30 principles for making flowers bloom when everyone sees them

Core tip: Details determine success or failure. The following 20 principles are actually just some details of life, and a person's self-cultivation and conduct are precisely through these ways of dealing with others. reflected in the details. Strengthen your personal cultivation and pay attention to details, and you may not be far away from the "flowers bloom when everyone sees them". Of course, no matter what you do, it's impossible to make everyone like you, and it's not necessary. Being kind to others is also being kind to yourself. If you do your best, you will ultimately benefit. The following text content comes from the Internet. I think it is well written, so I would like to share it with everyone. It may not be comprehensive, and even some of the views are not very appropriate, so you don’t need to regard it as a golden rule, but it is still worth learning from. Kindness and sincerity are the most basic prerequisites for being a human being. Otherwise, no matter how good you appear on the surface, it is just hypocrisy and deception.

1. Not unpleasant in appearance. Always smile.

2. Temperament is the key. If you are not good at fashion, you would rather be simple.

3. When shaking hands with others, you can hold it for a while. Sincerity is a treasure.

4. Can’t use “I” as the subject in everything.

5. Try not to borrow money from friends.

6. Will not “force” guests to look at family photo albums.

7. When talking to someone, sit next to the driver first.

8. Persist in saying good things about others behind their backs, without worrying that the good words will not reach the ears of the person concerned.

9. When someone speaks ill of someone in front of me, I just smile.

10. I drive my own car and will not stop to say hello to my colleagues on bicycles. People will think you are showing off.

11. When a colleague is sick, go visit him, sit on his bed naturally, and wash your hands carefully when you get home.

12. When guests from the countryside come to my house, I will be warm and considerate. After they leave, I will carefully clean the floor full of yellow mud.

13. Respect people who don’t like me.

14. I don’t like to make more friends, I would rather offend one less person.

15. Self-criticism always makes people believe, but self-praise does not.

16. If a match catches fire in my pocket, I will be glad that it is not an oil depot. When a poor relative comes to my house, I won’t turn pale. I will happily say that luckily it’s not the police who come.

17. Don’t take other people’s goodness for granted. Know how to be grateful.

18. Can listen.

19. Respect the master in the reception room and the aunt who does the hygiene.

20. Often start with "we" when speaking.

21. Applaud everyone who takes the stage to sing.

22. Sometimes you have to ask questions knowingly: Is your diamond ring expensive? Sometimes, you can’t ask even if you want to, such as: How old are you?

23. If you talk too much, you will make mistakes. Talk less when there are many people.

24. Change the unspoken "no" to: "It takes time", "I will try my best", "I'm not sure", "I will call you when I decide", etc. .

25. You don’t expect everyone to like you. That’s impossible. Getting most people to like you is a sign of success.

26. Of course, you have to like yourself.

27. If you are performing or giving a speech, you must continue with your heart as long as there is one person listening, and you must perform even if no one cheers, because this is your path to success.

28. Be willing to spend time thinking and know how to be prepared for danger in times of peace.

29. Occasionally show off your success in front of peers, but never pretend in front of older women.

30. In addition to the traditional virtues that everyone knows, we also know that life should have sentiment.

Guo Jingming’s classic quotations that everyone loves

Hiding in a certain time, missing the palm prints of a period of time; hiding in a certain place, missing someone who stands on the way in and out, making me care. People

You won’t get lost if you hold my hand and walk with your eyes closed

If one day we are no longer together, we should act as if we were together

My first wish is: I want to be your lifelong friend

Maybe my personality is too negative, as long as it is sad and poignant, I like it

If memories are as hard as steel, then should I smile or cry? If steel corrodes like memory, is this a happy city or a ruin?

A group of sheep were grazing on the grass, a car came, and there was only one The sheep didn't look at the car and grazed quietly. This sheep looked particularly lonely

Let's forget about some things that haven't been finished yet. Everyone is a king, domineering in his own world, You don’t want to listen to me, but you don’t want me to listen to you either.

There are only so many places around a person, and there is only so much you can give. In this small circle, some people want When you come in, some people have to leave

If I love someone, I can give up everything for him, including my life

Immature people die for a great cause , Mature people live humbly for a great cause

Little A said: Let me die and let love stay. And I want to say: Let love die, I want to live humbly!

Youth is a bright sadness

As long as I know that you are still alive in this world, I will be fine and have no worries

No matter what I do, you will have to Am I a human being?

Time is still there, but we are flying by

We smile and say: We are still where time is, but in fact it has already been swept away silently by the torrent

Some people will always be engraved in their memory. Even if they forget his voice, his smile, and his face, the feeling every time they think of him will never change!

Those who used to say that we will never be separated have long been scattered at the end of the world

I have no extravagant hopes, I just want you to be happy and not sad

Friend I always protect you from the wind and rain. If you endure the wind and snow in the distance and I can't do anything, I will also pray and let the wind and snow fall on me

Unknowingly, I have shed tears Full face

Our relationship is as strong as RMB

That is a smile that can make me cry and let me exchange it for a lifetime

You smile once, I I can be happy for several days; but seeing you cry once makes me sad for several years

If I could be with you, I would rather let all the stars in the sky fall, because your eyes are The brightest light in my life

Time did not wait for me, it was you who forgot to take me away. My left hand is a firefly that I have never forgotten, and my right hand is ten years of long meditation

Lonely people always remember everyone who appears in their lives, just as I always think of you with endless pleasure!

On every night when the stars fall, I count my loneliness over and over again

Whenever I look at the sky, I don’t like to talk anymore, but whenever I talk, I I don’t dare to look at the sky anymore

How can ripped jeans stand with an evening dress, how can my guitar play with your piano

I count your smiles every day, but You feel so lonely even when you smile

There is only so much warmth in my life, and I gave it all to you, but you left me, how can I smile at others again in the future

There was once a smile that appeared in my life, but in the end it dissipated like mist, and that smile became a rushing river buried deep in my heart. I couldn’t swim across it, and the sound of the river became my

Despair singing every day and every night

The noise and brightness of the world, the joy and happiness of the world, are like clear streams, in the wind, in front of my eyes, passing by, with warmth gushing like spring water. Come out, I have no extravagant expectations, I just want you to be happy, not sad

The wind blows up the fleeting years like broken flowers, and your smile sways and becomes the most beautiful embellishment in my life. Look at the sky and the snow, Look at the deep shadows of the seasons

A person always has to walk a strange road, see strange scenery, listen to strange songs, and then at an inadvertent moment, you will find that what you originally tried so hard to achieve Forgotten things are really forgotten