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rich joke

Smiling is a joke! The following is what I share with you. Welcome to reading.

1, always can't remember dad's license plate number, and then always get on the wrong bus?

After I walked to someone else's car for the nth time, my father carried me to the front of the car. Look at this! Sue k? BSXXX. The English letter is picking nose excrement, remember! ?

Me? I really remember this time!

2. A man named Ju Huajun was ill one day. A friend came to see him and said to him, if you are well, it will clear up.

Juhuajun said, what should I do if I am not good?

My friend said it was hemorrhoids.

I just went out and saw a little boy standing by my car door. I drank loudly. Stop?

The little boy stood there motionless in fear.

I asked:? What are you doing by the car?

The little boy blushed and said, me. . . I just washed your car for free. ?

? Is it? I looked at the front of the car, and it turned out that he peed on my tire. . .

A lady smelled a foul smell in her sleep and woke her up!

As a result, she found that the cash and mobile phone were lost, and the foot odor in the air had not dispersed. She decided that the thief had not gone far and shouted to catch the thief.

After being arrested, the thief said that he hadn't washed his feet once for several days, and he took off his shoes for fear of making a noise. He didn't expect it to stink enough to wake people up.

After the 80s, we all know several names that often appear in English textbooks, such as Li Lei and Han Meimei.

Yesterday, I discussed with my roommate why those names didn't appear in the high school English textbook.

A buddy suddenly said:? Didn't they get into high school?

6. teacher:? Xiao Ming, you copied your deskmate's answer in the exam yesterday, didn't you?

Xiaoming:? Yes, but how did you find out?

Teacher:? What is his answer to the tenth question? I don't know? What's your answer? I don't know, okay? . ?

7. A man has secretly loved a woman for many years and finally confessed.

Man:? In order to like you all the time, I changed my wish during the college entrance examination. ?

Woman:? Bullshit, I haven't seen you at school for four years. ?

Man:? I didn't get in.

8. Examination refers to the behavior that the actor destroys others' body and mind in written form for the purpose of forcing others to study.

In any of the following three circumstances, the punishment shall be aggravated:

1. The exam causes people to fail or retake the exam, or threatens to fail or retake the exam;

2. The exam is too difficult, causing physical and mental harm;

3. Don't draw the focus, scope and direction before the exam?

9. Two friends fell in love.

One asked:? Have you ever been in love before?

He replied:? We talked in college. ?

This person knows perfectly well past ask:? Is it from Henan?

He was frightened: how do you know it's with a man?

10, a person is walking on the road, and a woman comes up to you and asks you: Is this the earth? What's your answer?

If it was a beautiful woman, I would say:? You are a Martian, aren't you? Oh, I like Martians best! ?

If it was a dinosaur, I would say: Where did you get it? Get out of here! ?

1 1. A computer worker dreamed that he confessed to his girlfriend. Generally speaking, the motherboard is OK, especially with good core, rich memory (connotation) and excellent cost performance (cost and ability). You can like me. What an expert! ?

12, a beautiful female colleague arrived.

A male colleague coughed twice in front of her. She said very gently, Did you catch a cold?

Colleagues are a little excited: well, a little! ?

Female colleague:? Then stay away from me. ?

13, Huilong religion, the largest religion in China, has a wide distribution of followers and a large number of people.

Church activities focus on every morning.

According to the first chapter of Huilong Dafa, can I sleep a little longer? This is the doctrine of this religion. Forwarding is considered missionary.

14, beauty appreciation: the demon is called beauty, the ugly one is temperament, the sly one is called talented woman, and the wooden one is called lady; Thin is called slim, fat is called plump, tall is called Tingting and slim, and short is called small and exquisite; Fading gentleness, fierce provocation, silly sunshine, hard Leng Yan, local tradition, natural and unrestrained foreign flavor, distinctive bandits, coquettish romance, gentle beauty, ancient charm, waves everywhere, Niu Aoxue Feng Ling, carefree and single-minded, busy and self-seeking, annoying and convincing.

15, after nightfall, our society is like this: some people drink, some people touch, and some people fight for their lives; Some shouted, some sang, some hugged the microphone; There are Hu, there are bars, and every circle has accounts; Pinch your feet, rub your back, and massage until you sleep naked; Miss, admire, talk on both ends of the phone; Talking about love, talking about love, squatting on the ground; Eyebrows, eyes, angry husband; A philandering wife who harms others and herself is looking for it; Performing, practicing hard and jumping off a building attract people to watch; Carnival, crime, streets and alleys are running around; Prostitution, whoring, playing with guns in a simple room alone; Thieves, grave robbers, people who dream of getting rich; Open a room, go to bed, and call your mother at orgasm; Touch with your hands, lick with your tongue, and be fucked by children; Tonify the kidney, eat a whip, and be tired all night.

16, five women's cowards: go home from work, go to the kitchen, sleep after dinner, get paid and deposit in the bank, go out and shop as much as possible, and only get a bed for life. Rectification plan: if you don't go home after work, let her sleep when you get paid, go wherever you want, and wear a wedding dress at will. Efforts: Don't go to the kitchen after work, you can stay up all night, and others pay for fashion.

17, female compatriots should learn to use men correctly: talented consultants, handsome lovers, husbands who earn more money, husbands who can take care of their families, confidants who can survive, and fathers with high IQ. On the occasion of March 8, I would like to extend my holiday greetings to the outstanding women who have been fighting in the fitting room for a long time, watching Korean dramas, not cooking, full of charm and mastering their husbands' wallets. I wish all sisters: demonization around them, white-collar income, housework, happy daily life, lasting love, petty bourgeoisie, shopaholic, lover scale, husband slavery, I wish all beautiful women a happy March 8th!

18, ten men think:

Do nothing if you want to.

Second, I want to monopolize the property.

Three thoughts on career will make a golden egg.

Homesick North Incheon, Mei Duo

Wuxiang famous car wheels turn.

Liu Xiang's stock market closed for him.

Seven want to go home without cooking.

The charm of the eight-thought map lasts forever.

Jiuxiang private money is a big head.

There are more than half of the ten people who want to take pictures.