Please give me some shorter and better jokes. Thank you. God, please help me.

1 Someone asked me to compare who is lazy. I said: "I am too lazy to compare with you." 2 Four people were playing mahjong. The police came and arrested five people. Why? Because they were The one who hits is called "Mahjong" 3 What did the mung bean turn into when it fell from upstairs? It turned into a red bean because it bled. 4 What did the red bean turn into when it fell from upstairs? It turned into a mung bean because it 5. On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. Banana, who was walking in front, suddenly felt very hot. He said, "It's so hot. I need to take off my clothes." As a result, he peeled off the skin. As a result, the banana behind fell down. 6 Once upon a time, there was a bun who felt hungry while walking on the road and ate it himself. Once upon a time there was a loaf of bread walking down the street. He felt hungry and ate himself. Once upon a time, there was a marshmallow who went to play ball for a long time. He said, "I'm so tired. I feel like my whole body has softened." 7 Once upon a time, there was a bird. He would pass by a cornfield every day, but he would pass by it very soon. Unfortunately, one day there was a fire in that cornfield and all the corn turned into popcorn! After the bird flew over... I thought it was snowing and was freezing to death. 8 Xiao Ming got a new haircut. When he came to school the next day, his classmates saw his new hairstyle and laughed: Xiao Ming, your hair looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt aggrieved, so he ran outside and cried. As he cried, he flew up. 9 The fish said: "I open my eyes all the time so that I can't leave you." The water said: "I flow tirelessly all day long just to surround you and pick you up properly." The pot said: "Fucking hell. He’s almost mature and still so stubborn.” 10 Xiaobai looks a lot like his brother, do you know why? Because: He really looks like Dabai. 11 A polar bear stayed alone on the ice in a daze. When he was bored, he started to pluck out his own hair. One... two... three... Finally, no hair was left, and then he died of cold. 12 Make a V with two fingers, what is it? Yes! The hand trembles and reaches down, what is it? It’s fallen leaves! 13 Stretch out four fingers. How many are they? FOUR, bend four fingers, what is it? WONDERFUL! (Curved FOUR) 14 Who among the wolf, tiger or lion will definitely be eliminated when playing the game? Wolf, because: Momotaro (eliminating the wolf). 15 Once upon a time there was a little lamb. One day he went out to play and met a big bad wolf. The big bad wolf said: "I'm going to eat you!" Guess what happened? As a result, the big bad wolf ate the lamb. 16 One day, the three little pigs built three huts to avoid being chased by the big bad wolf. The big bad wolf effortlessly destroyed the thatched house, the wooden house, and the brick house. The three little pigs ran as fast as they could, but they were still caught up by the big bad wolf. The three little pigs said desperately, "It's up to you." We give up, do whatever you want. At this time, the big bad wolf smiled evilly and said with saliva: "Then tell me where is Little Red Riding Hood?" During the Spring Festival every year, the train is extremely crowded... A certain gentleman took advantage of the stop to stick his butt out of the window to defecate... The train will When starting, the conductor shouted during his final inspection: "That bald guy smoking a cigar, put your head back!" Ascaris and his son lay on their buttocks and looked out. The son asked what was blue... Father: Lan Tianer: Then Green? Father: The Earth Son: The outside world is so beautiful, why do we have to stay in our buttholes? The father solemnly said: Because this is our motherland! A little mouse on the cliff waved its short front paws and jumped down again and again, trying to learn to fly. The female bat next to her saw her head smashed and bleeding, and said worriedly: "Dad, if you don't tell it, it is not our biological child..." There was a man selling popsicles at the market for the first time, and he was embarrassed to sell them. A man was shouting: Selling popsicles! , he had to shout: Me too. The female toad hid in the dog hole to avoid the male toad who was pursuing her. The male toad patiently guarded the entrance of the hole. After a while, a mouse came out of the dog hole. The male toad said sadly: No wonder you don't love me anymore. It turns out the dog bought you a mink. Bin Laden and Saddam were walking on the beach. Suddenly a reporter took a photo. When he saw the camera, Bin Laden made a V-shaped hand gesture. Saddam asked: Brother Den, have we won? Bin Laden whispered: Victory is a fart, I am telling the United States, don't blow up, we are the only two left! A soldier was practicing climbing a tree, and suddenly he fell from the tree. The officer asked him why he fell, and he said there were two The squirrel ran into his crotch, which I tolerated, but they came in and said: Let's divide the fruit! A student from a certain school left the school ten minutes after class to buy 2 cups of milk tea and 2 taros.

Seeing that the school bell was about to ring, I said to the boss in a hurry: Boss, I want two nipples! The old turtle teased the river clam, and the river clam was very angry. It opened its mouth and bit the old turtle. The old turtle reluctantly dragged the river clam back and forth. The frog saw it and said in admiration: "Hey, brother turtle has grown up, and he always carries his briefcase when he goes out." A man fed peanuts to a monkey. The monkey always stuffed peanuts into its butthole and then ate them. The man asked the administrator for no explanation and replied: It ate a big peach last year and it took a lot of effort to pull out the core, so now it eats everything. You have to measure it first.

Hope to adopt