Humorous jokes amuse girls.

1. I said you were a pig, but you said, "I am a pig." From then on, I will call you "pig head monster"! Finally one day, you can't help shouting at everyone: "I'm not a pig!" " "

Judge: "Why do you print counterfeit money?" The defendant said innocently, "Because I can't print real money."

3. Thief A: "How much did you rob today?" Thief B: "No, just read the newspaper tomorrow."

4. "Do you know what you are in my heart?" The goddess suddenly sent this sentence. I immediately asked, "What is it?" "Half of them are male gods." I was flattered, and then she said, "Half of it is menstrual disease."

5. A couple just got married. The husband was sent abroad by the company. A year later, the husband went home. After taking a bath that night, the couple fell asleep with snoring. Someone knocked at the door at midnight. The husband jumped up from his sleep and exclaimed, "No! Your husband is back! " The wife murmured, "Impossible, he is out of town."

6. The girl is sitting on a stool. When she got up, a person saw the girl's skirt stuffed in her ass and reached out and pulled it out. The girl was furious and slapped the man. The man said indignantly, "Count me in." Then reach out and shove the skirt back up the girl's ass.

7. A girl pretended to be innocent and asked, "Where did you say the child was born?" Another girl disdained: "Shit, it's not easy. You can come out from wherever you go in! "

8. In high school, my English teacher (a middle-aged woman in her fifties) thought that we boys wouldn't listen, so she cursed, "What are you thinking?" I was at a loss and said inexplicably, "I miss you!" " "There was a long silence in the classroom, but a pair of frightened eyes were looking at me. The teacher stayed for a while, then pointed at me and cursed: "you smelly rascal!" " "Illegal!

9. A thief sneaked into a heavily guarded place at midnight. After opening the vault with great difficulty, he found it was full of jelly. The tired and hungry thief ate all the jelly in a rage and left. The headline of the local newspaper the next day was: "Shocked! Sperm bank was stolen crazily.

10. The furthest distance in the world is: we go out together, you buy four generations of apples, and I buy four bags of apples.

1 1. A man, who happened to meet Xifeng. After a long hesitation, he asked in a low voice, "May I take a photo with you?" Xifeng shouted, "No, I won't sleep with you!" All eyes were on the two men, and the man replied awkwardly. After a while, Xifeng came over and whispered, "I'm sorry, I'm studying psychology recently, just to test people's reactions in embarrassing situations." The man shouted, "Thirty dollars? Too expensive! "

12. Two friends haven't seen each other for a long time. Let's eat jiaozi together. Sam suddenly asked Brother Han, "Do you know what gender jiaozi is?" Emperor Han looked puzzled: "After eating jiaozi for so many years, is jiaozi still divided into men and women?" Ah San laughed and said, "What a fool! It's a man. Jiaozi has a foreskin. "

13. I once rented A Jin Tianyi in Manba, and I burst into tears when I saw the second page. I don't know what the hell drew a circle on a character with a blue ballpoint pen and wrote: This is the murderer. ...

14. I suddenly found an interesting rule: whether we watch love dramas or youth idol dramas, in the end, the hero and heroine get married, and the TV or movie is over. What does this mean? This profound explanation: as long as a man and a woman get married, there is no future!

15. Mother-in-law tests three sons-in-law. First, I invited my eldest son-in-law to take a walk. When I crossed the bridge, I suddenly jumped down. My eldest son-in-law was rescued by diving, and my mother-in-law gave him a Guangben car. The mother-in-law was also like this, testing the second son-in-law and being rescued. The injured second son-in-law gave an Audi. She tried her third son-in-law, but she couldn't swim and couldn't save her. Her mother-in-law drowned. The next day, my father-in-law gave him a Mercedes!

16. A: "Sister, if someone hurts you, how long will you forgive him?" B: "It is God's business to forgive him. My task is to send her to see God ... "

17. The signature of a bachelor was changed to: People who secretly love me, how can you be so calm! ! !

18. The old man who teaches chemistry is nearsighted. After writing the blackboard in class, he suddenly turned to me and shouted, "What are you standing for?" ! ! Sit down! ! "I sat in the last seat, and my coat hung on the wall behind me. ...

19. An old farmer was hoeing in the field, and a crow flew over and took a shit and landed on the old farmer's face. The old farmer looked up and cursed: "Cao, you mother! I don't know how to wear shorts when I go out! " The crow said, "Cao! You shit and wear underpants! " -

20. Robber: "Tell me the password of the safe, or I'll kill you!" " Female employee: "Don't tell me if you kill me! I won't say anything if you ruin me! " The robber looked her up and down and said, "You should be beautiful!" "