The funny fuse was lit and the joke broke out.

The funny fuse was lit and the joke broke out.

The funny fuse was lit and the joke broke out.

Picky sister, commonly known as stingy elder sister, comes from the word stingy man. Picking girls is generally more nervous, losing, well-informed, daring to say anything, and popping up a few dirty words from time to time. Arguing with her will always blacken you, your feng shui and your dancing. Tell her dirty jokes, and she will discuss it with you more deeply than anyone else. Please cherish some girls around you who don't pretend to be forced. It is not easy for them to struggle in the mezzanine full of little fresh and soft girls.

Soon after I got married, I opened a cosmetics store, and the business was very good! My friend was surprised and went to explore. I saw a 40-year-old female customer ask me: What is the effect of this cosmetic? Me: Oh, I'm not familiar with this model. Just a moment, please. Let my mother introduce you. Said and pulled his wife over. The customer looked directly at his wife for five minutes and took out his wallet without asking anything. . . .

A new female colleague, very cheerful and fun. One day the department had dinner together, and everyone asked about her love history. She shook her head and said, "They are all the best." Everyone was curious and asked what happened. She said, "It's all too short. . "Colleagues eat. . . "Nima, I mean, time is too short!" Once again. . . "I really mean to talk about time is very short! ! You are too evil. "

People with bad temper generally don't take the initiative to break up with anyone. Their explosion point is too wide, easy to be moved and coaxed, which can make her angry 10000 times. After reconciliation, they can naturally make her angry 100 1 time. It is often the person with good temper who makes people angry 10000 times, but one day he suddenly said, "I can't stand your temper", and then he disappeared and never appeared again. . .

I have a childish trick: whoever makes me unhappy, I will use my right hand to gesture with a gun, poke my thigh with my index finger, make a "ho" sound in my mouth, and then make a "biu" sound at her waist. At this time, the other party will ask in horror: "What did you do to me just now?" I blew my index finger gracefully and said, "Nothing, just injecting a little fat into your body."

The wolf finally caught the sheep. Kotaro counted the sheep in the pot and said happily to the wolf, "Honey, you steamed nine sheep!" " "Cang Lang hesitated and said," cut off all the retreat? "

Di Renjie: Here comes H7N9 again, Fiona Fang. what do you think? Fiona Fang: My Lord, you should go to Shandong to hide. Di Renjie: Why? Fiona Fang: Lord Hui, do you think that SARS in 2003, bird flu in 2006, snowstorm in 2007, swine flu in 2009, 12 rainstorm and bird flu in Shandong are all fine? All kinds of signs are enough to prove that Shandong is a treasure! Di Renjie: OK, just take a trip to friendly Shandong, and worship Mount Tai and sages. Fiona Fang: Let's eat pancakes and roll green onions to enhance our resistance and make the people of China healthy!

Tsinghua Zhu Ling was poisoned by her roommate, Dayun Ma Jiajue hammered her roommate to death, Fudan roommate poisoned her, and China Southern stabbed her roommate. . . At this moment, I just want to thank my roommate for giving me a chance to live!

I've seen you get out of bed with gum in your eyes. I often call and send messages to you. Forgive your desire to buy. Running around for what you want. I care about your whereabouts more than anyone else. The greeting to you is always "Are you at home?" . Everything must be given to you in person, and you can feel at ease when you accept it. Do this to your man. Only the courier is left.

Tsinghua Zhu Ling was poisoned by her roommate, Dayun Ma Jiajue hammered her roommate to death, Fudan roommate poisoned her, and China Southern stabbed her roommate to death ... At this moment, I just want to thank my former roommates of eight, three masters and 1 doctor. What a nice person you are! ! !

Sorry, sir, you can't go in. Man: Why can't I go in? I tell you, your leader is my relative! Excuse me, what relatives are they? Man: His lover is my wife!

The enemy is approaching on the battlefield. Artillery officers observed the enemy with binoculars. Looking at the approaching enemy, the soldier begged the officer, "You may fire, sir." The officer said, "Let the enemy get closer." When the enemy approached, the soldier said, "Sir, fire, or I will pay for the shells myself!" " "

Play on the stairs with my classmates after class. Suddenly a woman passed by and my classmates pushed me to her side. I accidentally caught the woman's ass because of slipping. She turned angrily and shouted, "Can you be gentle next time?" At that time, the audience burst into laughter.

I remember when I was a child, a Chinese topic asked me to imitate the sentence "... like ..." and the sentence "goose feather as snow" written by my deskmate. What a literary sentence, but this unlucky child just wrote the word "goose"-my bird is like snow …

Woman: "90% of the women I saw when I went out today are not as young and beautiful as me ..."

Man: "Did you go to a nursing home?"

I just received a cold message from the mobile phone WeChat ... My sister's signature is: Never mind her future son, watch mom shake it for you! Domineering side leakage! ! ! !