A collection of the funniest jokes ever

1. The turtle was injured and asked the snail to buy medicine. After 2 hours, the snail has not come back yet. The turtle got angry and cursed: If you don't come back here, I'll die! At this time, a snail's voice came from outside the door: Don't you dare say I won't go any more!

2. After her daughter and her kindergarten children came back from the zoo, her mother asked: "Baby, what is the most beautiful thing in the zoo?" The daughter said: "The elephant has two tails, one at the back. One in front."

3. My deskmate had a cold and a runny nose, but he forgot to bring a handkerchief, so he kept sucking the snot into his nose. The Chinese teacher who was writing on the blackboard suddenly turned around and shouted: That's enough! Stop it! It’s so noisy! The whole class fell silent. The teacher asked again: Who is eating noodles secretly in class and making such a loud noise?

4. Narcissism means that I must be reincarnated as a woman in the next life, and then marry a man like me; despair means ordering two dishes at a restaurant and eating the first one: there is nothing more difficult than this in the world. Food? Eat the second one: Guess! There really is!

5. A prisoner was executed by firing squad. The bullets were produced in a certain county and were of poor quality. The first shot was not fired, and then the second and third shots were fired. At this time, the prisoner cried: "You pinch me?" Kill me, it’s too scary!

6. Dung Beetle and Mosquito fell in love and met for the first time. Dung Beetle: What do you do? Mosquito: Nurse, injector. The dung beetle grabbed the mosquito's hand and cried bitterly: It's fate, I am also a doctor, a traditional Chinese medicine, and a pill maker.

7. A man was about to jump off a building. His wife who had just come back shouted: My dear, don’t be impulsive, we still have a long way to go! After hearing this, the man jumped down without hesitation. The negotiator standing next to him said: Madam, you really shouldn't threaten him like this.

8. A shooting star flashed across the night sky. I quickly made a wish, hoping that you would become more beautiful. Unexpectedly, just after I made my wish, the meteor came back with a swish and smiled, saying to me: Brother, are you deliberately trying to embarrass me?

9. On Panda’s birthday, I would like to tell everyone: I made two wishes. One is to cure my dark circles, and the other is to have a color photo.

10. Yesterday you went to play in the mountains, and a wild boar wanted to eat you. At this critical moment, you shouted: Mom. The wild boar was startled: Baby, don't run around anymore. Look, you're all so thin.