"Every mortal has a cover." Seeing this, the examiner was furious and criticized: "I am unique." Looking down, he said, "Anyone who speaks without a condom."

1, an examiner read three poor articles, which must be ranked first, second and third according to the regulations, and write appropriate comments. After reading the article, he thought and thought, and mentioned on the answer sheet that Zhu Bi was scored and approved: "first-class bullshit"; "Second-class dogs fart"; Third-class fart dog. The first-class writer is still a person in the eyes of the examiner, but he only put "shit" once; Second-class writers are like dogs, but besides "farting", they also have housekeeping skills; The third-class writer is not a person, but a useless dog who specializes in "farting" and has no other advantages!

2. Ouyang Xiu once took an examiner's exam and found that a candidate's name was the same as his own, and he was a little unhappy. After the comment, a couplet was added saying: "Sima Xiangru Lin Xiangru is not worthy of the name." I don't want this candidate to say immediately, "Sun Changwei is unscrupulous and I am unscrupulous." Ouyang Xiu clapped his hands and recorded the candidates.

Liu Yong, a great poet in Northern Song Dynasty, filled the vacancy of Hanlin, and the official department dedicated his poems to Emperor Renzong. There is such a sentence in a poem "Xijiang Moon" written by Liu Yong: "I am rich in Dont Ask For Help, and people want to ask me articles." Injong was very unhappy after reading it and made four royal comments: "Liu Yong doesn't want money, who will?" Let you be dressed in white, and write lyrics in front of the wind. "From then on, Liu Yong's official career declined, relying on red and green, bohemian. He often used the emperor's comment on writing to laugh at himself: "Liu Sanbian wrote the lyrics on purpose. "

Four brothers went to Beijing to catch the exam, each said a word and made up a poem to cope with the exam. Four people are walking along a small river in the country. The first sentence that Big Brother said: "By the river outside the village". The second brother saw two rows of willows by the river, and said the second sentence: "Willow rows". The four brothers stayed in the inn and couldn't sleep at night. They recited two poems together: "There are willows in rows by the river outside the village." Other guests couldn't sleep, and the guests were curious, so they licked enough paper to have a look. The third child looked up and saw the small black hole on the window, and then loudly said the third sentence: "The window is full of small black spots." Early the next morning, the four brothers continued on their way. Old four saw two fishermen fighting by the river. He sang excitedly, "Two fishermen are fighting." The three brothers thought, how can the fourth line be six words? So I removed the last word "da" and became "two fishermen", which rhymed. In this way, the four brothers wrote four poems that they collectively created on the paper. A few days later, the examiner sent back their test paper with two words: "I owe a dozen!" " "Old four read the examiner's comments and said," I said the fourth sentence should be that two fishermen fought with each other. You must get rid of the word "fighting" at the back. You see, the examiner said there was only one word missing. "Listen to the old four, three brothers regret it.

5. Xu Wei, a great calligrapher in Ming Dynasty, took part in the provincial examination for the first time, and only four poems were written on the examination paper. The examiner commented: "It's too short". After the second rural examination, Wei Xu learned the "lesson", not only writing the whole paper, but also writing it on the desk and chair.

6. A candidate imitated Li Yu's "Waves and Sand Rain Outside the Curtain" on the test paper and wrote a sentence: "The paper is at the tip of the pen, and tears are streaming down her face. Furious heat is hard to understand cold in the heart. It's no use scratching your ears or your head. It's like sitting on pins and needles, staring alone. It's infinitely bitter! It is easier to ask questions than to answer them. Hand in your papers when the bell rings. What is the score? " After reading it, the marking teacher wrote a comment: "Although there is no practical learning, there are crooked talents; No spanking, come again next time. "

7. There was a scientific research in the Qing Dynasty entitled Parents. A student wrote, "What are husbands and parents?" The examiner commented rudely: "the father, the penis is also;" Mother, Yin is also. Yin and Yang are incompatible, but this monster is born. " On another occasion, on the topic of chicken, a candidate wrote in "Zhongbi": "Is it a white chicken? Is it a black chicken?" Is it a black and white chicken? "The examiner commented on three words:" Luhuaji. "In the comparison, the examinee wrote:" Is it a rooster or a hen? Is it unfair to be a motherless chicken? "The examiner's comments are more concise, with only two words:" castrated chicken ". "

8. When an examiner saw a piece of paper without writing a word, he criticized, "When will the moon be bright and spotless? Why bother pointing out?"

9. One of the candidates scribbled like a ghost during the exam. When the papers were approved, the first examiner couldn't understand what it meant, and felt very strange, so he had to write the word "odd" on the first batch of papers; The second examiner read it and didn't know what it meant, but when he saw the first examiner's comment on writing, he was afraid that others would laugh at his incompetence and had to approve the word "Miao" on the paper. After submitting it to the examiner for approval, he couldn't understand the meaning of this article, but after reading the comments of the first two examiners, he wrote the word "absolutely" on the paper.

10. In the Qing Dynasty, a scholar (examiner) used the phrase "money is not allowed" to test candidates. A candidate misspelled the word "Wu" as "mother" and the word "dog" as "dog", which made him laugh and cry. He said angrily to the candidate, "I'm out." If you are good, you will be exempted from punishment, otherwise you will be held accountable! " "Then that sentence means that there was no bitch in The Book of Rites," replied the examinee. "There was a ram in the Spring and Autumn Period. "Learning is really something.

1 1. A candidate wrote a jingle on the test paper: "I have never written tears, and I have been studying hard for more than ten years; If the examiner doesn't admit me, I will go home and die! " The examiner's comment on writing is: "pen without tears-no need;" Studying hard at a cold window for more than ten years-not necessarily; If the examiner doesn't admit me-yes; Go home and die-why! "

12. In the Qing Dynasty, Liang Zhangju wrote an examiner's composition entitled "What to Cover" (see The Analects of Confucius). The examinee's composition was: "Everyone has a cover." The examiner was furious and criticized, "I'm alone." Looking down, it says, "whoever says he didn't cover it will have a big cover." The examiner quickly blotted out the previous comments. Looking down again is: "whoever says he has a cover will have more."

13, a county in Qing dynasty was required to admit at least three students. On the day of the exam, it happened that three candidates came. The examiner glanced at the test paper and was dumbfounded. It turned out that after a candidate copied the test questions, he only wrote the word "blessing" and nothing else; The other copied the test questions and didn't answer a word; I didn't copy the third question at all, but handed in a blank sheet of paper. The examiner is a big headache. In order to make a job, he had to take the candidate who copied the test questions and wrote the word "Chef" as the first place, and criticized: "But the word" concerned husband "must be full of worries and should be ranked first. Taking the candidates who only copied the test questions as the second, they approved: "There is no difference in copying, which means that their materials can be done and should be ranked second." Taking the candidates who handed in blank paper as the third place, he also approved: "Be careful, don't be careless, you should rank third. " .