Disgusting and funny sentences

1, I feel that I didn't play well after every quarrel, and then practice it repeatedly in my mind.

2. Why does grandma like her granddaughter's wife but not her daughter-in-law? Because the enemy of my enemy is my friend!

If people are unlucky, no matter where they sit when eating hot pot, smoke will float to your face.

4, 10 years old happiness is steamed and eaten fresh; 20-year-old happiness is stir-fried, eating is fierce; 30-year-old happiness is already braised in soy sauce, eating aftertaste. As for the future, it is the Buddha jumping off the wall in Micari, with mixed feelings and lasting time.

5. Take a deep breath, turn your face, bend over and look up.

6. Don't say that others are pitiful, you are even more pitiful. What do you know about life?

7. Time and marriage will make a man mature, but time is slow and marriage is quick to fry.

8. What is the palpable pain? I just feel so hungry, and I feel like a lump of meat.

9. The sweat that flows on my body every day is completely the water that enters my head when I fill in my volunteers.

10, I used to be thin, and I will be thin in the future, so I have to gain weight for a few years now, or my life will be incomplete.

1 1, the world is so imperfect, what you want, you will lose.

12, my friend cried to me, saying that she was often lovelorn because she was too poor. I immediately despaired of this society: poor, why can he have so many girlfriends?

13, after the English listening test, I realized a truth: some words are only for people who understand.

14, I feel that life is always aimed at you everywhere, just because you are ugly. If you are beautiful, it's like hanging up the phone every day.

15, when I grew up, I mastered one specialty and didn't learn other skills. I can sleep well during the day and get excited without stimulants at night.

16, when you are in a good mood, just listen. When you are in a bad mood, you listen to everything.

17, you can disagree with me, but you can't deny my right to hit you.

18, I became an older woman for two reasons: first, no one despises me; Second, no one despises it.

19, even if you are sick, it is wrong for you to ask others to cooperate with you! Are you really so lonely?

20. Your Monkey King is on his way. Don't be blinded by wild monkeys.

2 1, I admire people who can carry the whole audience when playing games. I'm different. I'm sorry.

22. Life is not just an immediate matter, but also a house that you can't afford and a salary that you can't afford to support your family.

23. Not all stars shine, but light bulbs also shine.

24, everyone is not stupid, stupid or not, the key is whether to be stupid.

25. My boyfriend is definitely a road idiot and hasn't found me yet.

26. I will try to be what you like, and then I will not be with you until I die.

27. The older you grow up, the more you know that people who say they don't care about money are actually poor, and rich people are too lazy to discuss them.

28, men and dogs: men are twenty like pugs, sweet words are always on their lips, and thirty are like watchdog, cooking and washing are the best.

29. It is said that you can't have your cake and eat it, but God really cares for me. I can be poor and ugly, and fat and short go hand in hand.

30. If you haven't found a girlfriend in ten years, come to me. I'll send you a mirror to show you how disgusting you are and want to find a girlfriend!

3 1. Who doesn't have musical instruments these days? Take me for example. I'm glad I quit.

32. Do you believe I slapped you on the wall and couldn't get it off?

33, learn to bully the sun, the goddess takes a selfie, the local tyrant has money, the model basks in the body, and Laozi basks in the sun!

34. The bus I crowded with you will never be as good as the taxi you took.

35. Being single is not difficult, but it is difficult to deal with those who try their best to make you end being single, such as your seven aunts and eight aunts!

36. The people who live in the local area are so pitiful that it rains almost every day.

37. Even if it is cold and others are wrapping zongzi, we should dress ourselves up as cones!

38. I wanted to turn around and smile at the male god, but I didn't expect it to be too cold and my nose was running with laughter.

39. The lovely me has long since disappeared, and I have been replaced by a more lovely me.

40. You pay what you want, not what the other person wants. Learn to put yourself in others' shoes and understand others' needs, and many things may be solved.

4 1. Money is the root of all evil, but if you have no money, the whole society will despise you.

42. In middle school, thieves had no guts. In college, there are thieves who have no guts. Now there are thieves with courage, but there are no thieves.

43. If you get married, you have to marry the Tang Priest. I can afford skin care products myself, but if I can't afford them, I will eat them as skin care products.

44. You should like someone who can make you laugh, not me who often makes you cry.

45. Some people like your face, some people like your voice, some people like your personality, some people like your life, but I am different. I don't like you.

46. The best is not necessarily the most suitable; The most suitable is the really best.

47. Don't be depressed. Although you haven't taken a trip just now, at least one body says you are fat!

48. Every time I want to quit, I comfort myself like this: beauty and ugliness are determined by fate, fat and thin are in the sky, and the sky wants me to be fat, and I am resigned to fate!

49. If love is the proof, then I am too bad at math.

50. In this fickle age, the best way to make others remember you is to owe money and not pay it back.

5 1, the so-called good man, is not allowed to be cool to his wife, not allowed to make her jealous, quarreling must give in, but also be beaten!

52. I wanted to give life a kiss, but reality gave me two slaps. Do you think I can't kick him in return?

53, intimate drama is a small era, bad drama is a biography; Buddies get along well, but they get along badly with the beach.

54. Do you want to get rich overnight? Do you want to be worth more than 100 million? Do you need food and clothing? Do you want to live carefree? Why don't you stay with me and we'll think together.

I'm sorry to see you unhappy again. I didn't get the first praise this time.

56. I am a rotten wound, devouring myself in the eyes of the world.

57. Running a red light generally has two consequences, either one minute faster than others or a lifetime faster than others.

58. There are still many good people in this world. If you can't find them, it only means that you are not a good person. Birds of a feather flock together, don't forget.

59. I am neither sad enough to become a poet nor indifferent enough to become a philosopher, but I am awake enough to become a cripple.

60. The significance of Friday is to plan how to spend the weekend; The significance of the existence of the weekend is to prove that Friday's planning is meaningless by staying up late and getting up late.

6 1. Divorce is like amputation. You survived, but you also lost something.

Every day when the alarm clock rings, after lunch and on weekends, one's ambition becomes so insignificant.

63. Happiness can be obtained through study, although it is not our mother tongue.

64. I was drinking with my friends at the food stall, and suddenly remembered that my daughter-in-law was still hungry at home, and I slapped myself in an instant. How to distract yourself by drinking? Come on, let's get started!

65. It's cold, so tattoos can't be exposed. I feel that people don't respect me so much.

66. I used to be poor, but I was happy. It's different now. I am not only poor, but also unhappy.

67. When God closes a door for you, he will also clamp your brain with the door.

68. I suddenly found that the teacher's appearance affected the efficiency of my class. If the teacher is ugly, I will be attracted by the mobile phone and will not listen to the class; If the teacher is good-looking, I will be attracted by the teacher and won't listen!

69. Losing weight is not so easy. Every catty of meat has its temper. After the age of not eating fat, it is better to give up if you are entangled.

70. There is nothing good about good people, and bad people are not so bad. It's just that the bad guy did a good thing and seems to have a reason to be forgiven. And as long as good people do bad things, it often means losing everything.

7 1, some people say that the dead mouse doesn't feel cold, and the dead pig says: I'm dead, can you leave me alone? Did I piss you off?

72. Many people have only done two things in their lives: waiting and regretting, and it is too late to add them together.

73. I keep my figure so stable because I have extremely strict self-discipline about my diet. An elbow a day, not a bite!

74. Most women like a man for only one reason, that is, she can't understand him.

75. I have gone from nothing to assets of over 100 million, from wealth to luxury villas. I'm not dependent on others. I came up with it bit by bit.

76, the iron cock will leave some rust, you are simply a stainless steel cock!

77. Real warriors dare to face up to beautiful girls and face bleak singles.

78. I drifted north alone and left my hometown. Since then, the villagers have never drunk well water.

79. It is said that marriage is the grave of love, but if there is no house, you can't even enter the grave.

80. The three things I fear most in my life are fear of death, fear of illness, and fear of life and death.