Classical Chinese translation jokes

1. Translation of two ancient Chinese jokes

1. The nose and eyebrows compete for position. The nose says: "I know all the smells and smells first, and I have the greater credit. You are useless, what merit do you have, how dare you stay on top of me?" Eyebrow said: "If the nose is on top of (me), how can there be such a thing in fashion?"

2. There was a man who wanted to cross the river and was sad because there was no ferry. Suddenly he saw a big turtle. The man said, "Brother Turtle, please take me across the river. I will recite a poem to thank you." The turtle said, "Recite a poem first and then cross the river." The man said, "Don't let me cross the river." How about I lied to you and chanted two sentences first, and then said two sentences after crossing the river? "The turtle said: "Okay." The man chanted: "..." The turtle was very happy, and he just crossed the river. The man then recited a poem and said: "..." 2. There is a reward of 5 points for a good joke in Enguwen with about 50 words

One night, I was walking on the platform, but I saw a woman floating over. Her long hair was fluttering, and she couldn't help but look at her sideways.

As I approached, the woman suddenly stopped and looked at me. Yu An said: ‘Aren’t I very handsome? ’ Dan Jianyi’s eyes widened and the corners of his mouth twitched.

I sighed: ‘Am I too ugly? ’ But I saw Yi’s eyes opening wider and wider, and her mouth opening wider and wider. I'm terrified.

I secretly thought that I am usually a gentleman and have never offended her, let alone not knowing her. I almost wanted to turn around and run away, but suddenly I heard Yi shouting: '...ah...sneeze! ’ Yi rubbed her nose and drifted away. I was already sweating profusely. I am a commoner. I studied literature for the first time and failed in three years. Then I studied martial arts. I was hit with an arrow in the school field and was beaten by drummers. I was kicked out with a stick. Then I studied medicine and entered the Department of Clinical Medicine. I studied hard for five years and achieved success. I wrote my own book. A good prescription, take it and die.

Then he went to the underworld and waited for the king of hell for a long time to ascend to the hall. He was impatient and asked, and the ghost soldier said: The king read the files under his feet, laughed wildly, went into shock in the back hall, and did not wake up... The famous scholar Yin Nang was reading, Sun Kang Yingxue studied. One day, Kang went to pay homage to Yin, but he didn't meet him. When he asked where he was going, the doorman said, "I went out to catch fireflies." "Reading?" Kang said, "I don't think it's snowing today." - (Ming Dynasty) "Xiaolin" compiled by Master Fubai. There was a cake vendor selling cakes. His voice was very hoarse. When someone asked him why, he said. : "I'm hungry."

He asked again, "Since you're hungry, why don't you eat the cake?" He said, "It's sour." (Both said in a low voice) - (Ming) Fubai Master's Collection "Laughing Forest" Mi Neng Speaks Li Ji, a native of Yan State, has a coquettish and dissolute wife who often has an affair with a young man from the neighbor's house.

After Li Ji heard about this, he came up with a way to catch the traitor. One morning, Li Ji pretended to go far away, but he hid in the yard and took a closer look. He saw that the neighbor's boy quickly entered the inner room of Li Ji's house and then locked the door.

Li Ji immediately jumped out and knocked on the door. The wife was very frightened and asked the boy indoors: "My husband is here, what should I do?" The boy was anxious and asked: "Is there a window?" The wife said: "There is no window."

The boy again Asked: "Is there a cave?" The wife said: "There is no cave either." The young man said helplessly: "How can I get out?" At this time, the wife saw a cloth bag next to the wall and secretly said happily: "Now Okay."

The young man hurriedly got into the bag, asked her to tie the bag and put it on the ground in front of the bed. He also told her: "If your husband asks, just say it is rice." After cleaning up. , the wife quickly turned around and opened the door to let Li Ji in.

Li Ji looked around the room and found no adulterer, so he slowly came to the bed and saw that the bag was full. It felt very heavy when he lifted it up, so he asked his wife: "This is What?" The wife was so flustered that she forgot the young man's instructions and hesitated for a long time without saying anything. Seeing that his wife looked suspicious, Li Ji kept asking more questions.

The young man in the bag was afraid that the matter would be exposed, so he couldn't help but reply inside: "I am Miai." When Li Ji heard this, he caught the adulterer and the adulterous woman and beat them to death on the spot. Friendly reminder: Beware of cheating! ] ——Ming Dynasty Lu Zhuo's "Afterwords of Ai Zi" Mouth Once in the past, Duke Xie was drunk. When he passed by the door of Lu Shenzheng's house, he vomited all over the ground.

The gatekeeper of the Lu family came over and cursed: "Where did you come from, a drunkard, who dared to vomit and defecate in front of my house!" Duke Xie raised his drunken eyes, squinted at the gatekeeper with contempt and said: "It's because your door wasn't built in the right place, and it's actually facing my mouth!" The gatekeeper found the drunkard's words very interesting, so he retorted with a smile: "My door has been built for a long time, how could it be facing yours today?" "My mouth is built?" Duke Yu pointed to his mouth and said, "My mouth is also old!" - "Ya Jie" by the owner of Fubaizhai in the Ming Dynasty. There was a man whose family was very poor and could not afford to drink. , and not good at drinking. However, he also loves to put on a false face. Every time he goes out, he eats two lees cakes, which makes him smell like he has just drank.

One day he met an old friend on the road. Seeing that he was a little drunk, the friend asked: "Have you just drank wine this morning?" Cake." He returned home and told his wife about it.

His wife gave him an idea and said: "If anyone asks again in the future, you can just say that you drank wine, and you can also put on a pretense." He nodded in agreement.

When I met the friend the next day, he said he had eaten wine. The friend suspected that he was lying and asked, "Was it hot or cold?" He replied: "It's baked." Upon hearing this, his friend smiled and said: "You still eat bad cakes."

After he returned home, he told his wife this again, and she blamed him: "Didn't you mention roasting wine and eating it? From now on, it's going to be hot drinks." He said he remembered.

When he met the friend for the third time, before he could speak, he boasted: "My wine today is hot." The friend asked: "How much did you eat?" He stretched out his hand. He pointed out two fingers and said: "Two."

——The owner of Fubaizhai in the Ming Dynasty, "Xiao Lin", has a good way to cheat for food. A man was hungry on the road, so he came to a house to cheat for food. Eat. He said to his master: "I can mend a broken needle nose, but I have to eat some food first before I can work."

The master was very happy, so he gave him food and found out all the food. If a needle is broken in the nose, after the person has finished eating, the host will ask him to repair it. The man said: "Bring the broken half of the needle nose as well."

——Ming Dynasty Pan Youlong's "Laughing Zen Record" There is a good way to stay overnight. A man was rushing outside. It was getting late and he wanted to go nearby. He wanted to stay at the temple for a night, but he was worried that the monk would not agree, so he stepped forward and said to the gatekeeper: "I have an item that will never be used in life, and I want to give it to the temple." When the monk heard this, he not only happily He agreed to let him in and treated him very respectfully.

Early the next morning, the monk came to say hello and asked: "What is the inexhaustible thing that the donor said?" The man pointed to a bundle he placed in front of the Buddha statue. The broken bamboo curtain said: "If we use it to make light sticks, we won't be able to use them for generations to come." ——Ming Dynasty Pan Youlong's "Laughing Zen Record" used a net as a quilt. There was a fisherman couple whose family was extremely poor. There were no quilts on the bed, so I had to use a fishing net as a quilt to keep out the cold. In the middle of the night, they put their fingers out of the net and felt extremely cold.

The couple secretly rejoiced and said: "How can those without quilts survive such a cold winter night?" ——Ming Feng Menglong's "Laughter Mansion" Three people in a trance slept together. bed. In the middle of the night, one person felt a strange itching on his leg. In his sleep, it was on the second person's leg. 3. Do you have any jokes about ancient Chinese translation?

Everyone is equal to me, and the class is full of students.

It was so elegant that no students came. "The joke is probably like this: There was a private school teacher who taught the Analects of Confucius. He mistakenly pronounced 'Yu Yu Hu Wen Zai' as 'Everyone is equal to me'.

Later, a new private school teacher changed the correct reading of 'Yu Yu Hu Wen Zai' When "Wen Zai" came, the students thought that the new teacher had made a mistake and did not come to school. People at the time mocked him and said: "Everyone is indifferent to me, and the whole class is full of students." ”------------------------------------------------ ----------- One day, the wind was gentle and the sun was shining brightly. Yu and his friends gathered in the lower room. The edges were short and the wind brought a chill, so Yu You sighed and said, "Hey, When times are bad, the dragon is trapped in the shallow water, and the wind and clouds are hidden in the young pines.

Who is to blame if the profession is not enthusiastic? What a mistake! "Yu You also sighed and said, "I have been given a great responsibility by fate, but my bones and muscles are suffering, and my Chinese language system is miserable. I can't fault you! His friend shook his head and hit the fou, saying, "The Chinese language is miserable, and it can be compared to the unevenness that spreads across the five continents. However, the absurdity of chemistry often lies in remote places and is incomprehensible to ordinary people. Therefore, the pain of my muscles and bones is not something you three can handle." Knowingly. "The other man kept silent, and the rest of them managed their lives endlessly. Some were twice as old as me, so they laughed and said, "Brother's career can be said to be hot, and his wife and children can be said to have no hunger. Is that true or false? "Brother's face was still angry, and everyone was shocked, "Your career can make a living, but my career is hopeless, so why bother? The other three people all asked, but they were silent at first. After a long time, they answered, "Invertebrate linguistics!" ”------------------------------------------------ ---------------- One night, I was strolling on the Third Religion Platform when I saw a woman with long hair coming towards me.

After a while, the woman stopped suddenly and looked at me. I thought to myself, "Isn't it that I'm so handsome?" But seeing Yi's eyes widen and the corners of her mouth twitching, I sighed, "Isn't it that I'm too ugly?" My eyes widened and my mouth opened wider.

I was so frightened that I thought to myself that I was a true gentleman and had never offended her, let alone not knowing her. I almost turned around and ran away, but suddenly I heard her shouting. A "."

Ah.

Sneeze! ! ! ". Yi rubbed his nose and drifted away.

I was sweating profusely. 4. Translation of ancient Chinese jokes

No money can be saved - "Guangxiao Mansion" by Feng Menglong of the Ming Dynasty 》 A man was extremely stingy, and when he encountered a newly swollen stream, he was stingy about the money, so he waded desperately.

When he reached the middle stream, the water rushed over him, and he drifted for about half a mile. His son was looking for a boat on the bank. Save him.

The boatman asked for money, but the son only gave five cents, and the price was uncertain for a long time. When his father was dying, he looked back at his son and shouted: "My son, my son, Five cents to save, not a penny to save! "There was a person who was extremely stingy. One time he encountered a newly rising river on the way. Although he could cross the river by boat, he was afraid of paying for the boat, so he waded across the river desperately. As soon as he reached the middle of the river, he was swept away by the water. Unfortunately, he drifted for more than half a mile.

His son was on the shore, looking for a boat to rescue him. The boatman offered a price of one yuan to go, but the son negotiated the price and said he would only pay five cents. .

This bargaining was delayed for a long time and was not settled. His father was dying. When he was dying, he turned around and shouted to his son: "My son, my son, five points." Just save me, not even a penny! ". 5. Are there any jokes about ancient Chinese translation?

Everyone is indifferent to me, and the class is full of students. I am so depressed that the students don't even come."

The joke is probably like this: A private school teacher taught the Analects of Confucius and mispronounced "Yu Yu Hu Wenzai" as "Everyone is equal to me". Later, when a new private school teacher pronounced "Yu Yu Hu Wen Zai" correctly, the students thought that the new teacher pronounced it wrong and did not come to school. At that time, people wrote poems and mocked me: "Everyone is equal to me, and the whole hall is full of students." It's so elegant that no students come. '"

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One day, the wind was gentle and the sun was shining brightly. Four people, Yu and Yu, gathered in the lower room. , the wind blew up the cold, so Yu You sighed and said, "Oh, my luck is bad. The dragon is trapped in the shallow water, and the wind and clouds are hidden in the young pines." Who is to blame if the profession is not enthusiastic? What a mistake!

Yu You also sighed and said, "Destiny has given me a great responsibility, but my bones and muscles are suffering, and the Chinese language system is miserable. I can't fault it!" "

His friend shook his head and hit the gou, saying, "The Chinese language is miserable, and it can be compared to the unevenness of the five continents. However, the absurdity of chemistry often lies in remote places, and ordinary people cannot understand it, so my muscles and bones are confused. Suffering is not something that you three can understand clearly.

"

The other man kept silent, and the rest were doing it for the rest of his life. Some were twice as good as me, so he laughed and said, "Brother's career can be said to be hot, and his wife and children can be said to have no hunger. That's right. , no? "

Brother Beige was still angry, and everyone was shocked, "Your career can make a living, but my career is hopeless, so why bother? "

The other three people all asked, but they were silent at first. After a long time, they answered, "Invertebrate linguistics! ”

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One night, I was strolling on the Third Teaching Platform when I saw a woman coming gracefully with long hair. I couldn't help but look at her sideways.

As I approached, the woman suddenly stopped and looked at me. My eyes and the corners of my mouth twitched, and I sighed, "Am I too ugly?"

But I saw that his eyes were getting wider and wider, and his mouth was opening wider and wider, and I was frightened. I secretly thought that I was a true gentleman on weekdays and had never offended her, let alone not knowing her before. I almost turned around and ran away, but suddenly I heard Yi shouting "." . . . . . ah. . sneeze! ! ! ". Yi

rubbed her nose and drifted away.

I was sweating profusely.