What psychology is it that a person always finds fault with others?

That was my best friend before. Tortured me for years. I'm not crazy. She's going crazy.

It's someone else's fault to keep your mouth shut. No one else can do it anywhere in her heart. In her words, is it a waste?

Because she is picky, strong and aggressive, her relationship with her family has always been bad. At the age of 22, she moved out to rent a house. Her parents have never been to see her. On weekends, she wants to go home and improve her food. Her father said: Don't come back if there is no one at home this weekend.

Her relationship with her colleagues is also on thin ice, and she is often unreasonable. If anyone is not convinced when talking to her, she can send an 8,000-word strong opinion article to the other party on WeChat or qq. Colleagues also argued with her at first, but later found out that this was an endless master and basically ignored her. If nothing happens, they will stay away from her and leave her alone.

Now I'm almost 45, I'm not married, I have no friends, and I rarely go back to my parents' house. When I was a child, I obviously looked like Lin Daiyu, but now I live to be Su Daqiang.

I don't know what her psychology is, but the change of appearance proves everything.

Gee, does this question really seem to be aimed at me?

Let me talk about my heart.

First, I only find fault with my family.

The reason is because I want to make my family better and better. Doing things outside is perfect.

Second, I find fault with the details of life.

The reason is that the details determine success or failure. If the details are handled well, you will get twice the result with half the effort!

Third, I never find fault with outsiders and colleagues.

The reason is that it has nothing to do with me Your bad habits can be seen by others. You don't need me to be a sinner.

To sum up, I think my family has many problems. I said the same thing many times, but my family forgot it, which made me very angry, depressed and helpless! Meanwhile, my health is getting worse and worse. My family also has resistance to me, saying that I have too many things. At this time, I will reflect. Since they don't change, why should I insist? It's not worth hurting my health. So now I am trying to control myself, to be tolerant and tolerant. Make yourself feel better.

I am getting along with such a person now. He will pick on me from time to time, that is to say, when he doesn't pick on my colleagues at work, when he doesn't talk about colleagues, he talks about his brothers and sisters at home. He is very jealous. His brothers and sisters bought cars one after another, which made him feel bad. His brother's family is better than his. He hates others. He said that his parents care about others and don't care about him, but what I see and hear in my eyes is not thin for him. He's not grateful either. I asked his mother what supplements to buy for her birthday, and he said she was going to eat. I am embarrassed. Later, I bought two pairs of shoes for two old people with my own money. He was divorced twice. The first two women had a daughter, but the two daughters were not close to him at all. His senior didn't call him or me. His relatives are like strangers to him. He told his boss that the place where he came home from work was not good. He likes bragging, watching other people's jokes, stepping on blood and being cruel. People are really difficult to get along with and don't understand.

I used to be such a person when I was at work. I often put my foot in my mouth in front of the team leader. When I first came! The group leader had a good impression on me, and then I gradually became a thorn in the side of the group leader! I thought I didn't do well enough to make her so unfriendly to me. I've always wanted to talk to the team leader about my shortcomings and why she changed her attitude towards me. Later, I thought, it's better to look for it than not to look for it. There is no need to find out what the reason is. Just do my job. What am I worried about? Later, I saw the monitor always telling on me. ! ! When I meet such colleagues and team leaders, I don't care about them. If I have something to do, I will go to them. If I have nothing to do, I will stay and be myself! ! I feel sick at the sight of them! ! ! !

Such a person's psychology can be analyzed from the following levels:

1. The person who always finds fault with others is an inferiority complex.

An obvious manifestation of inferiority complex is low self-esteem. The three levels of self-esteem are dependent self-esteem, independent self-esteem and unconditional self-esteem. If a person always finds fault with others, it is very likely that he will always find fault with others to realize his innocence and value. Such psychology is a manifestation of dependence on self-esteem. He has no other way, method or person to affirm his value, so he gives himself a little affirmation in this way.

2. A person who always skips other people's shortcomings is a person who suppresses anger inside.

As we all know, if a person gets up early, his temper is often bad, and it is easy to lose his temper when he sees anything unpleasant. People who always find fault with others are always like this ... indicating that it is not accidental, but normal. If this happens frequently, it means that there must be a lot of repressed anger and emotions in his heart, which cannot be well alleviated by other means. There may be contradictions at home, and others may always suppress him in life. The specific source is unknown, but this performance shows that he has a lot of negative emotions and there is no good solution.

3. People who always find fault with others are probably people who have not been unconditionally loved in childhood and have not been definitely appreciated by their parents.

Why do you say that? Because he grew up in an interactive mode, that is, people deny each other and criticize each other, and he did not learn to appreciate, encourage and love others from the beginning of his life. This interactive mode is probably a habit formed by his family background, and he grew up unconsciously. In fact, such people are very poor. A person who lacks love in his heart gave it to someone who doesn't love it. A person who has not been affirmed and encouraged in his heart is incapable of affirming and encouraging others. Maybe it's not that he doesn't want to, but that he really doesn't and doesn't have the ability. From this point of view, don't pay attention to such a person's fault, which is a manifestation of his lack of love in his heart. He is more pitiful than others.

How to deal with such people?

1, identify his thinking mode, and reduce the influence of such people's words on themselves.

2, identify the relationship with him, whether it is worth too much, and communicate in depth. You can keep a safe distance.

3, understand his reasons, maybe he is also very painful, but he can't control himself.

How to treat it and how to improve it?

1, don't be such a person.

2. Accept others' occasional bad temper.

3. Try to improve your self-esteem.

4. Learn to treat people around you with appreciation and gratitude.

You will find a different world and a different relationship. Only when people take the initiative to change can they bring about change.

This is a very self-centered person. This kind of person always holds a magnifying glass all day, magnifies the shortcomings of others countless times, and then preaches endlessly that others are useless. Such people can't see their own shortcomings and always feel that they are perfect in personality. He prides himself on being a flower and is a very selfish and narcissistic person. This kind of person is very jealous, laughing at the poor and jealous of the rich, and can't hide others from being better than him. Another feature of this kind of person is that he teaches others to come regardless of the occasion, without giving you face, especially without winking. He wants to expose your pain and embarrass you. At the same time, this is a person who especially likes to be jealous. It's no exaggeration to go to the leader and report others that he is a troublemaker. Because he is such a selfish and arbitrary person, his interpersonal relationship is also very bad. Who wants to make friends with such people? ! Can't stand his mental torture. How far is that from him?

Hello! This is a topic of great psychological significance!

In applied psychology, there is a common word called projection. Projection refers to a person unconsciously reflecting his own personality characteristics such as thoughts, attitudes, wishes, emotions and personality to external things. This is what we often say, ghosts are easy to see in our hearts, and we are afraid of ghosts in our hearts at night. This psychological process is the process in which your psychological structure reacts to perceived things.

A person who finds fault with others with his mouth shut can't hold anything in his heart, but releases his emotions by talking about others. This is a psychological projection. Imagine if a sunny person sees everything is good, will he/she find fault with others?

We can do an experiment at any time: draw a piece of paper with pens of various colors at will, and the picture is meaningless. If you show this paper to others, others will read out the things that exist from this meaningless painting, such as horses, sentences, people, flowers and so on. This is the famous Rorschach ink test.

A person who keeps his mouth shut and finds fault with others is a person with psychological problems. When he forms an impression on others, he thinks that others have similar characteristics to himself. Therefore, to find fault with others is actually to project and impose your feelings and will on others, that is, to push up the cognitive obstacles of yourself and others. This kind of person can't perceive according to the objective truth, which is very subjective.

Such people are right and wrong, and like to talk about others behind their backs, even if what he/she says is his/her own feelings, which may not be consistent with the facts. So projection is a sign of psychological immaturity.

I have seen such people, and there are many in life. What are the psychological reasons why TAs love to criticize people?

First, narcissism.

Such people always think too highly of themselves, aloof and unsociable, always self-centered, and think that others are wrong and only themselves are right. I like commanding, telling people what to do, especially criticizing others, but I can't tolerate others doing this to myself!

Second, inferiority complex.

Such people, because of their inferiority complex in their bones, feel that their abilities are poor, and they are not good in many aspects. Only by criticizing others with language can we gain a sense of existence and accomplishment. They gain psychological advantage by criticizing others, deceive themselves and protect their poor self-esteem!

Third, jealousy.

These people don't think that others are better than themselves, stronger than themselves, and have to compare everything with others. Once you feel that others are better than yourself, you will be jealous and will not compete with others in a proper way. Instead, they always use all kinds of despicable means to find out each other's faults, such as cynicism, nitpicking and finding fault with others.

Fourth, harsh psychology.

1, perfectionism

From the psychological point of view, perfectionism is a personality trait, that is, there is a tendency to "pursue perfection in everything". They have high requirements and expectations for themselves and the people and things around them. They are not only strict with themselves, but also strict with themselves everywhere, always finding fault with others.

2. Don't appreciate each other

This kind of person's fault is only aimed at one person, not everyone, because TA is biased against the other party, can't look at each other objectively, and doesn't appreciate each other. No matter what the other party does, TA can pick out the other party's mistakes.

3. I hope to correct each other's mistakes

I really want to stand higher and see farther than the other person, and I am really smart, so I always correct my mistakes and hope that the other person can be better.

I think picky people should recognize their own problems and actively correct their mentality:

1, everyone has shortcomings, and you also have shortcomings that others cannot tolerate.

2. Look at these problems objectively, accept your own advantages and disadvantages, and accept the advantages and disadvantages of others.

3. Accept the reality, improve yourself in all directions, and build self-confidence through normal channels.

4. Focus on your own life and don't compare too much with others.

5. Have a tolerant heart and be tolerant of others.

6. Don't try to reform others and force them. You can gently tell them to influence others by setting an example.

7. Explore the advantages of others, be good at using the advantages of others, and actively establish harmonious interpersonal relationships with others.

In short, a principle of being strict with yourself and being lenient with others will gradually get rid of your picky psychology.

Everyone should have experienced the moment when others "find fault" face to face. Many times, we can accept each other's criticism, but if we meet some people who are finding fault with their mouths open and closed, we are also crazy inside. So what is the psychological reason why they are so fond of finding fault with other things? I have three analyses:

This type of person is actually just as strict with himself. Even if they are harsh in tone and serious in expression when picking faults, they can still get respect and understanding from others most of the time.

As a faultfinder, you should learn the severity of gratitude, because their accurate judgment and sharp correction can make you grow rapidly. I believe that under the urging of this "high pressure", you will become more and more excellent, and you will be more and more respected and recognized by others.

This kind of people is a typical negative energy group, and they like to improve their value and sense of existence by belittling others. After all, it's just showing off.

The best way to refute them is to improve their ability. Only when you become strong will they dare not "tell you what to do".

Adler, the "father of inferiority complex", once said: "Any behavior superior to others needs to hide an inferiority complex."

In fact, most of the time, they don't find fault with you, just to maintain their poor self-esteem. And this kind of self-esteem can only be satisfied if it is constantly denied. This kind of people always lack self-confidence. It seems that the key is their protection of their fragile blx.

Therefore, if you meet such a person, you should seize every opportunity to learn and ignore others. Remember, when you are really strong, they will "shut up".