Why save face?

If a person has self-esteem, he will be proud of his face, and it is difficult for a person without face to be a man. Therefore, saving face is a basic need of people, which is understandable. But people can't die for face. If they die for face, they will fall into the quagmire of hypocrisy. As a result, they not only lost face, but also lost face.

There is a southerner who never eats eggs. Once, he went to the north. Tired from walking on the road, my stomach was growling, so I went into a small shop and sat down to eat something.

When the waiter in the shop saw a guest coming, he came to say hello, wiped the table affectionately and asked, "Guest, what would you like to eat?" This southerner came to the north for the first time and was unfamiliar with the food in the north, so he casually said, "If there is anything delicious, just serve it." The man replied, "The Muxiu meat in our shop is very good. You can have a taste. After a while, the food was served. Southerners don't eat eggs when they see them, but he is afraid that others will laugh at his ignorance and stop talking. He just asked, "Are there any other good dishes? "The man said," There is also a yellow dish, which is also our specialty. " Southerners whisper: What the hell is a yellow flower stall? Who cares? First. Blessed by Bodhisattva, please don't have any more eggs! He said, "Great, that's it!" "Wait until the food is delivered, and there are eggs that you don't eat. I really couldn't push it, so he had to say, "The food is good, but unfortunately I'm full and don't want to eat." His servant was really hungry, so he advised him, "There is still a long way ahead. If you don't eat, you will be hungry soon. " So he borrowed a ladder to go down the steps and said, "In that case, let's have some snacks. Dude, do you have any delicious snacks? " The man replied, "There are deceptive fruits." He said, "Then bring more." When the "lying fruit" was served, he couldn't help being blindsided, and there were even eggs that he didn't eat. He was ashamed and angry, and he couldn't find any reason anymore. He had to go on hungry until he was exhausted.

This is a typical example of decent life and suffering. In this kind of person's view, what's the point of losing face and living? It can be seen that some people value face more than life

Of course, face is necessary. A person who has no face at all may even lose the minimum self-esteem and even become a deadbeat. The key question here is, how can we not lose face What face can I lose? If face only refers to people's vanity, like the person mentioned above, what's the use of this "face"? It should be abandoned far away. As for the face of personality, we need to keep it. If we don't even want this "face", we won't lose our personality. Why does China traditionally pay the most attention to face when dealing with people? It believes that people can live without life and money, but they can't live without face. Too much emphasis on face, too much emphasis on face problems, as a result, the psychological burden of China people is very heavy, seemingly thin, but in fact there are embarrassing difficulties.

Dying for face is common in ancient and modern times. Some women were beaten by their husbands at home. When neighbors saw it, they felt humiliated and ugly, so they ended their lives with ropes.

Some people were bullied in public, suffered big losses, and thought that their face would be damaged, and they would be laughed at in the future, so it was difficult to survive, so they fought to the death and finally the larger foe was broken.

Some people have been criticized by leaders in the unit and think that they are not as good as their colleagues. Since then, I have been unable to lift my head, so I have to retaliate, export "evil spirits", do extreme things, and end up in ruin.

Some people are unwilling to lag behind at the wine table. They can't drink at first, but they can't stand each other's "provocation". They gave their lives to accompany the gentleman until they vomited blood. In fact, it is also for the poor little "face".

China people already have the psychology of keeping up with the joneses, and pay attention to ostentation and extravagance and etiquette. Once you are slightly inferior to others, you will not be convinced, so you will throw caution to the wind and never stop until you are heavily in debt. In today's highly developed commodity economy, the society is constantly divided and the gap between the rich and the poor is constantly widening, which makes many people lose their judgment of self-worth in the drastic social changes, their psychology is greatly distorted, and it is easier to satisfy their face with vanity.

Even if some people are heavily in debt, they should spend money like water, compare with others, compare food with clothing, compare income with real estate; Officials compare cars, housing, treatment and rank; When organizing weddings and funerals, it is more luxurious to talk about ostentation and extravagance, in house decoration; In daily consumption, the purpose of spending money to make ends meet is to hope that others will take themselves as the center and applaud and admire themselves. Once the vanity psychology gets a positive response from others, it will be complacent, feel superior, and feel that you have not lived in vain. When you walk in front of people, you will hold your head high and feel good about yourself.

This vanity of saving face corrodes people's healthy psychology, destroys people's normal mood, and becomes a cancer in human nature, which is harmful to people.

In officialdom, everyone is careful to get along with each other in order to save face and take care of each other. Everyone is watching what others say, and we can't trust our intuition too much. In order to prevent the villains from harming themselves, a set of "conference language" with great application value has gradually formed, which is characterized by modesty, smoothness and vagueness. Modest: I'm here to learn from the scriptures; Throw a brick to attract jade; Inevitably there are mistakes, please advise; Wait, its function is to prevent others from saying that you are conceited and proud, as a war-free card. There are: although ... but; Split in two; Agree in principle; And so on, its function is to avoid any possible deviation, hide the edge of thought, and make people unable to grasp the topic. Many people have mastered this feature: to be rated as "advanced", they just need to strive for nomination, because no one wants to say that you are unqualified in person at the judging meeting. Therefore, even a poor candidate will eventually get all the votes in favor.

In order to save face, it leads to a series of jokes and even corruption. Bad for others, bad for yourself and bad for society. Therefore, we must treat the face problem correctly in life. Don't let this problem lead us astray and damage our physical and mental health. It won't help in the end.