Ten hilarious jokes

1. My daughter is in middle school and I bought her a pencil sharpener. On Saturday morning, she curled all the chopsticks at home into sharp points.

2. The younger son was naughty and asked him to eat fish well at the dinner table: "Eat more, eat fish wisely."

He said: "No, you will be caught." All the fish are big idiots.”

3. Watch two kindergarten children playing a ball guessing game. One child takes a table tennis ball and three cups, turns the cup over to cover the ball, and then lets the other child move. One guesses and the other kid always guesses every game!

As I watched from the side, what I wanted to say was: Damn, you can’t play this game with a transparent cup!

4. My son yelled that his classmates’ parents were taking them to a haunted house, and he wanted to go too. I said, “No, you’re still young and it’s easy to scare you.”

My son insisted on going to a haunted house with a family of three over the weekend. I thought the child would be scared, but as soon as he came out, he shouted loudly, "I thought ghosts were so scary! Tsk! My mother was not angry before

5. The naughty kid downstairs just went to school and was very naughty.

My grandparents told him to study hard, and he said, "Then I have to study hard and take the exam." What should I do if I go to Tsinghua University? I heard that the tuition fee is expensive, can we afford it? "

His grandfather said: "Study hard and you can afford it, so don't worry! ”

Naughty kid: “You’re lying. In the morning, I asked you for a dollar but you said our family had no money!” ”

6. There is really no way to teach today’s children.

I told my son today: “You only have one life, so cherish it.” ”

The son actually replied: “Don’t you know how to cherish only when you lose it?” ”

7. My roommate was drying the quilt in the sun, and the static electricity on the quilt shocked him. He didn’t expect this guy to say: You dare to shock me, believe it or not, I will sleep with you at night.

8. In math class, everyone took out the actual cylinders that the teacher asked them to bring yesterday. Only one male student did not move. Teacher: Why didn’t you bring them?

Male student: You brought two. Ham sausage, let me eat it at noon

9. The junior high school teacher was very strict. Two students were playing poker during the break. The teacher called them over and gave each of them a pair of scissors. Cut it into pieces, the more broken it is, the better.

The two of them saw that the punishment was not serious, and they were very happy after cutting it.

Afterwards, they took it to the class teacher, who looked at it with a smile. They said: Fight back.

10. After class, the teacher asked a student to help turn off the computers. He forgot his name and shouted to him: "Little fat man, help the teacher turn off that row of computers." "

The classmate turned around and said sadly: "I'm not fat. ”

Teacher: “Aren’t you fat?” If you are not fat, why are you looking back? ”