Is childbearing the original sin of women?

On March 8th International Women's Day, the screen was full of the Queen Goddess.

And I, an ordinary professional woman, feel as if I should talk about women.

So I want to talk about a documentary I watched during the epidemic-

Birth gate.

The lens of Shengmen is aimed at the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Zhongnan Hospital of Wuhan University. These are the fertility conditions of ordinary China people-

It is hard to find a bed in the bustling obstetrics and gynecology department in many ordinary people, and the family members are vying for who will draw blood for the nurse first.

I am too poor to pay the medical bills, so I have to ask myself whether fifty thousand dollars is worth buying three lives.

In order to have children, she divorced and remarried. When she is old, she will go back to the village to tell her story and comfort her ancestors.

Children may have problems in the third trimester. Are you born or not?

……

There is no filter lens at all, and it took more than 700 days to track the story of 40 parturients in the obstetrics and gynecology department of this 3A hospital-

Without makeup and deliberate affectation, the numb, dull and slightly tired faces of the lying-in women are completely presented on the operating table of obstetrics and gynecology.

The scarred belly was cut open, the examination and comments were saved, and all this was recorded calmly.

The doctor's joy, tears and outstanding personality are mixed among them.

I think, the protagonist of this documentary may be these women, but it should be called humanity more accurately.

Of course, unlike ordinary women's and children's hospitals, Zhongnan Hospital is a rescue referral center for five critically ill women in Wuhan. Many women here are incurable diseases or critical diseases all over Hubei.

In this epidemic, the first mother infected with COVID-19 in Wuhan gave birth to a healthy baby safely by caesarean section, and the operation was conducted by Dr. Li Jiafu, director of obstetrics and gynecology department of Central South Hospital.

It turns out that production magnifies the details of a woman's life everywhere.

What's more, these dying women, their joys and sorrows in life, the choice of death, are cruelly placed in front of them.

There are many silent details in the whole film, and several stories impressed me deeply.

No one who has seen this film will forget Xia Jinju.

She is 33 years old, pregnant with six and gave birth to two. This is her third caesarean section.

This time placenta previa grew from the scars left by the previous two cesarean sections, penetrating the myometrium of uterus and entering the bladder.

She hasn't got out of bed to protect her children for months.

Finally, 32 weeks later, Director Li Jiafu decided to have a caesarean section.

She said happily to Director Li, I'm not worried about you operating on me.

The operation went smoothly at first, and the child was successfully taken out in 15 seconds.

Then she began to bleed heavily, and the deep red blood dripped on the ground with the operating table, and the bleeding amount reached 2000 ml.

Director Li decided to remove the uterus.

Xia Jinju's father was waiting outside the door, saying that she would have her uterus removed. "If you agree, I'll cut it open. There is no choice now. "

When her husband was away, her father signed the agreement with trembling hands.

But Xia Jinju repeatedly begged-

"Can you not cut the uterus? I'm only 33 years old. Please work harder, and I will stick to it. "

Dr. Li hesitated, but the amount of bleeding instantly reached more than 7000 8000 ml, and Xia Jinju had two cardiac arrests. ...

It was finally saved.

After the whole body's blood was changed four times, Xia Jinju did not save the uterus, but saved her life.

In this story, Xia Jinju's husband never appeared, her father hid his face and wept, and she almost died for her choice.

Maternal Zeng Xianchun is also pregnant for the third time.

The first two children are daughters. In order to have a son, they became pregnant again, leading to dangerous placenta previa.

"We are used to having a boy in the countryside," her husband said, and then sighed, "My wife is too difficult."

Her sister-in-law also said, "In order to save this child, our whole family has worked hard."

This is the mother's own view on this issue-

"Rural people have no quality. If they don't have a son, others will laugh at you and he will scold you for not having this or that. "

Zeng Xianchun's operation went smoothly. In order to give birth to this child, she also lost her uterus.

Unfortunately, this son was born with a brain cyst and was diagnosed with cerebral palsy at the age of one.

Chen Xiaofeng, a pregnant woman from the countryside, is pregnant with twins.

She has diabetes and needs surgery to take the baby out early.

The doctor explained the situation to her husband Zheng Qingming. The child has not yet expired and will enter the neonatal department after birth.

"A child fifteen thousand, you two take thirty thousand, plus ... at least fifty thousand. How much did you pay? "

Her husband replied that after paying 5 thousand, he still borrowed it and had no money.

The doctor then asked, what are your expectations?

He said, finally pregnant, adults and children should be protected.

"You try to get some money, expectations are too high, or lower expectations, and get some money quickly. Our country is not free. " The doctor is very straightforward.

Zheng Qingming's tears swirled in her eyes.

He told the people in the same ward that Chen Xiaofeng was much younger than him, and he brought it back when he was working outside. He has no social security or medical insurance.

In fact, Chen Xiaofeng's name may not be Chen Xiaofeng at all. She was trafficked, met Zheng Qingming around her and got a home.

Zheng Qingming, who has a walled house, thought about selling his kidney to save his wife, but it was obviously not feasible;

Trying to borrow money, even the basic logic of rural credit cooperatives is unclear;

Patients in the same ward tried to help them contact the media to get social assistance, but they also failed.

In the end, I had to rely on my eldest brother to borrow money everywhere and borrow money from house to house in the village, only to collect tens of thousands of dollars for emergency.

In the camera, Chen Xiaofeng just lies in a hospital bed, and says nothing except occasionally screaming in pain.

The doctor asked Zheng Qingming, "What about the money for raising a child after the child is born?"

He said: "When I was a child, my family was poor, so I was raised."

Doctors can only say that times are different now.

Mother Li Shuangshuang was diagnosed with hypertension at the 28th week.

The eugenics department of women and children's hospital said that the child may have lack of oxygen in his stomach and may have any disability.

"I am afraid that money will be spent and people will not be saved; What if he still has problems when he grows up? "

-This is Li Shuangshuang's husband's concern, so no matter what the doctor said, he insisted on induced labor.

The Li family must get rid of this child.

Doctors have repeatedly explained that every time you get pregnant, pregnancy-induced hypertension will get worse. 28 weeks this time, maybe 24 weeks next time-

In other words, the risk of each pregnancy in Li Shuangshuang will be higher than the previous one.

But Li Shuangshuang's husband and in-laws still refused to give birth.

Finally, the doctor said that children over 28 weeks old have no obvious teratogenic reasons, and the national law stipulates that induced labor is not allowed. They agreed to have the baby.

When the child was born, his lungs were not very good and he needed to be sent to the neonatal department for rescue.

Under the doctor's pleading, the family finally agreed to save this new life.

But the child's father asked not to use unconventional methods to rescue.

Finally, the child died young.

Many people regard this film as an educational film about unmarried infertility.

Most barrage is the same view-

"No money to have children?"

"It's selfish to have no money to have children?"

"If you have a son, do you have the throne to inherit?"

"Marry a husband and have children? Walking uterus? "

In the barrage, everyone is commenting on the parties from their own perspectives.

I understand this evaluation, and from my own point of view, I will feel the same way-

I don't have to have a baby. My life as a woman is complete.

Married only for my uterus, such a man doesn't have to choose.

My body is mine, and I have the final say.

If you can't give your children a rich and free life, you might as well not have children.

My son and daughter are both fine.

Most people who hold this view are women like me-

Most of them are only children, living in a family with equality between men and women and having a carefree childhood. Receive education smoothly, be able to get in touch with the society according to your own wishes, establish your own social circle, and have the ability to express opinions. Meet the opposite sex with the same values at the right age, fall in love stably, get married, get pregnant at the right time, and have children safely.

Most of us have studied and received at least nine years of compulsory education, and more people should have received higher education. Most of them have a stable income to support themselves, have their own circle of friends, and have no heavy burden on their families.

For urban women, especially those in first-and second-tier cities, this kind of life is nothing more than ordinary.

For us, getting married and having children is just icing on the cake. We love ourselves and respect our gender.

We know that it doesn't matter if we are different from others. Anyway, life is our own, and it's not for anyone to tell us what to do.

We have the right to speak for ourselves. If our spouses don't love themselves enough, we can live happily enough even if we leave them.

This is why we can take it for granted that others are not good enough for us.

However, if we broaden our horizons like Birth Gate, we should aim at the vertical section of this society.

Suddenly found that these comments were too pale.

Fertility is a natural event of species reproduction, which naturally has sociological significance in human society.

Fei Xiaotong said in the book "Birth System"-

"Men and women are married, have children and raise children together. This set of activities is called the fertility system. "

And why fertility is called "social system" is because "this is an organized system of human activities.

Any social system is to meet basic needs. It has its own set of rules and techniques in a cooperative thing and a group of people get together permanently. Any social system is based on material, including a part of the environment and various cultural facilities. "

Fertility itself is just a drop of water.

She reflects the long history and culture, power structure, gap between the rich and the poor, and even regional differences of this society.

This event that changed a family's life has become a central point, showing a family's values and lifestyle naked.

Similarly, it also shows the attitude of society towards the family as the basic unit. Similarly, in the special environment of "hospital", there are some problems in the social medical system and social class division.

Therefore, when we calmly discuss these fertility situations from women themselves and put them into a larger social context.

You will find that it is easy to stand up and say that these women don't love themselves enough and don't know the meaning of love and life.

There is a abducted woman here. She doesn't even know her real name.

Maybe her current husband saved her and followed him around to get an ordinary home. She lay in bed without saying a word, letting others discuss the life and death of her children and her own life and death.

The uterus is her original sin, but poverty makes her sin worse.

The same is true for women who want to have sons.

Living in a patriarchal environment, the male labor force determines the status of the family in the village, not only the pressure of being pointed at, but also the real suffering and bullying.

They may never realize that there is a world outside the world.

Understand that life has its own limitations in vision.

For the endless bottomless pit for raising children in cities, many rural children want to go out to find a job when they grow up and then support their families.

In developed areas, children are independent individuals, while in poor areas, children are part of the family.

These feudal ideas, which seem to us to be out of tune with the present era, are actually taking place in fields completely different from our lives.

These are not only the original sin of female fertility, but also the lack of education and economic development.

Many people say that so many people have walked out of the mountains and the original life circle and finally achieved their own lives, instead of being trapped in such a life.

Indeed, personality determines fate, but only looking at the deviation of survivors and ignoring most ordinary people will not make our society better, and the progress of the times will not benefit more people.

The joys and sorrows of human beings are not interlinked.

But we should feel lucky for ourselves, cherish our luck and thank it.

We should not blame those who are still in the mire with a sense of superiority just because we have become survivors.

Similarly, we should make good use of this wealth and bring it to more women.

Until one day, women in China will be able to decide their own bodies, have children without risking their lives, and leave love rat bravely without menstrual shame.

This reminds me of one thing.

Some time ago, I went to get a haircut, and the little brother who washed his hair said to me, sister, you are thirty.

I said yes. He said, I think you are as old as my mother.

I listened to his southwest accent, which was similar to my local accent, so I held my breath and asked him, how old are you?

He said, my ID card is nineteen, but actually it is sixteen.

I said, your mother gave birth to you when she was fourteen?

He said: sixteen years old. My own children are almost one year old. This is a normal thing in Zhaotong.

Then he showed me a photo of his young mother holding her grandson.

I told this story to my friends, and no one would believe it happened in modern China.

But for this little brother who washes my hair, this is just the most common thing.