The eldest son 10 years old is in a rebellious period. There should be another one in his stomach, right?

Nowadays, it is an important topic for parents to denounce their children's "rebellion" at parties. The age of children's rebellion is much earlier than before, and the extreme events that have occurred have repeatedly made news.

A boy aged 10 in Xuanwei, Yunnan, ran away from home for 24 days after being beaten by his father, and staged a realistic version of "survival in the wilderness"!

The boy left penniless and walked hundreds of kilometers through many counties and cities in Yunnan and Guizhou provinces. Picking up garbage and selling change to buy food along the way. When I was sick and had a fever, I found dandelion to boil water according to the experience taught by my elders.

I was very hungry, so I went up the mountain to pick wild fruits and catch snakes and fish to fill my stomach. During my absence, I also took notes. ......

After being discovered by the police, the boy was still very angry and didn't want to go home. Finally, the boy's father arrived overnight to do ideological work with the police, and sincerely apologized to his son, and the child finally followed his father home.

The survival ability of such a hard-core boy is really shocking, and I am glad that I have not encountered danger along the way, but not every time a child quarrels with his parents, the outcome is so lucky.

It was the Mid-Autumn Festival some time ago, but a piece of news made many parents sad. A 0/4-year-old boy from a residential area in Hangzhou jumped from the 0/4 floor of/kloc because his mother discouraged him from playing with his mobile phone, and died on the spot.

It's a pity that such a separation of Yin and Yang should happen on the day of reunion.

Experts point out that 14-year-old children are in the third and most important period of growth. If there is something wrong with parents' education, children's behavior will be seriously deviated, which will affect their whole growth period and even their next generation after marriage. ...

In the recent hit TV series "Meet Happiness", Xiaoqing got married at the age of 20, gave birth to a child, decided not to go to college and took the vocational high school exam, and married a "poor boy" whose father despises, all in order to get rid of her parents' arrangements for her life trajectory.

With a deep hatred for my parents, I just wanted to stay away from my hometown and live alone when I was a child. The rebellion buried in her heart, like a seed, took root and sprouted during her growth. ...

However, after she got married and had children, she treated her daughter in exactly the same way as her parents.

Sell your daughter's guitar and stop her artistic dream; Sign up for an accounting class for my daughter and force her to follow the route she designed.

However, all this also caused her daughter's resistance. ...

Rebellion is a necessary stage for children to grow up, and it is also a hurdle that parents can't get around. However, it is really difficult to take care of children during the rebellious period. As a single mother, the "rebellious period" she encountered was even more difficult.

So, how to find a suitable way to help children cope rationally and get through this critical stage smoothly?

# Fighting, tattoos, poor grades, how can a single mother save her rebellious son #

Help Ma Bao: Gangzi's mother.

Hello, teacher, I am a single mother, living alone with my son 1 1 year. In the process of our son's growth, we encountered various problems. Now that my son has just entered adolescence, he is becoming more and more rebellious, which makes me exhausted between life and work.

I've been putting my heart and soul into Gangzi. Try to meet his needs in study and life, just for fear that he won't feel enough love. But unexpectedly, all my efforts turned into jokes. Gangzi not only has poor academic performance, but also loves fighting and tattooing. All the teachers shook their heads and sighed when they mentioned him.

I don't trust my child, and he doesn't understand me. There have been obstacles in communication between us. He always yells back at me. I have beaten and scolded, and I want to change the way I communicate with my child, hoping to wake him up with warmth and love. He will be nicer to me at that time, and then go back to his old style. Recently, I refused to let him play with his mobile phone, and he threatened me to run away from home. He is still young. What should I do?

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Jianping Wang

Doctor of psychology? |? Well-known children's family education tutor

"Seize the key 5 points, and get through the rebellious period smoothly.

There are many bitter stories in the family where a single mother lives with her son. I can feel the pain in this mother's heart. On the one hand, she feels that her son doesn't have a complete family and he can't get complete love. Because of guilt, I often want to follow my son and make up for it materially.

On the other hand, she hopes her children can succeed in all aspects. In such a ambivalent mood, my mother actually had a hard time. So, how to discipline a child from a single-parent family and let him grow up better?

I have five small suggestions:

1, learn to show weakness

First of all, a mother can be a little weak in front of her son, and trust him to make him feel like a little man at home and that her mother needs his protection.

For example, if your son is out, you shouldn't just say that you won't let him go out or anything. You just have to tell his mother that she is lonely at home alone, hoping that the baby will come back soon, or that her mother is scared at home alone. In this way, my son will have a sense of responsibility from an early age and feel that I want to protect my mother.

Therefore, smart mothers, especially those from single-parent families, should know how to trust their sons and show weakness in front of them.

2. Have business and quantity

Second, don't directly refute the child's views or decisions, especially don't directly say "you are not doing right" or "you are not doing right". A mother can discuss and analyze her views on a matter or things that need to be decided with her children first, and finally both mother and son make up their minds together.

Mothers should be careful not to speak ill of their favorite classmates or friends in front of their children, which is particularly easy to cause conflicts between mother and child.

3. learn to identify.

Third, children in the rebellious period of youth have strong independence and self-esteem, and he especially hopes to get everyone's attention and recognition. Then, the mother must know what the child is interested in in in time, and if possible, let herself and her son make progress together.

When you have time, read more extracurricular books that your son likes to read, and talk to your child about topics that he is interested in, so it is easier to narrow the psychological distance between you.

Step 4 find support

Another point, adolescent boys, the company of their fathers is very important. A mother can find a man admired or liked by her son among her relatives and friends. If it is convenient for the child's father, he is also advised to take time out and spend as much time with the child as possible.

Step 5 transfer the environment

Finally, when the mother-child relationship is tense, we can also communicate in another environment. ? For example, traveling together, swimming, climbing mountains and so on. In nature, people's mood is easier to relax, which will help to open each other's hearts.

Therefore, if the mother can let go of this anxiety, learn to get along with her children wisely and stick to it, I believe the situation will get better and better.

Meier's editorial

In a sense, the reason why children's "rebellious period of youth" causes parents' anxiety is because we are out of control of our children.

The performance of children in the "rebellious period" is precisely because children feel that the outside world ignores their independent existence and adopts various means and methods to establish equality between "self" and the outside world.

This series of behaviors are interpreted by parents as "disobedience", which leads to anxiety, disappointment and helplessness. Finally, the child's behavior is defined as "rebellious period".

Therefore, the definition of "rebellious period" is centered on parents, not children. When parents label their children as "rebellious period", they are actually making a judgment for their children: "Your performance is unreasonable". In addition, because of this "definition", parents will take it for granted that this is a child's problem, not their own.

Only by facing up to the child's motivation after "rebellious behavior" and understanding that the child is struggling to grow up, needs to be recognized by the role and needs more understanding and support, can we talk to the child equally.