I am in a bad mood. I want to hear a joke. Please help me. It's okay to have sound!

I couldn't find my mobile phone at my friend's house that day, so I borrowed my friend's girlfriend's mobile phone and dialed it to hear where it was. Enter my number, press the dial key, and my name saved by her will be displayed on the screen: SB3 (then I feel relieved, fortunately I am the third runner-up ...) ````.

I dropped a key when I took out my pocket. I didn't find it at that time, so I went back to find it!

There was a couple on the roadside, and the man suddenly said excitedly, Whose is it? Whose is it?

I thought it was the key. Say it quickly, mine, mine! this is mine

Only later did I know that the woman was pregnant. . . . Pity my face. . . It hurt for a few days.

3. I had a group meeting at school today and suddenly sneezed unexpectedly. I looked up and found my nose on the back of the girl in front. The woman didn't notice, so she secretly wanted to help her wipe it off. Just as she reached out, the girl next to her found it and shouted, "How can you wipe someone's nose?" ! ? "

When I was in college, my classmates had dinner and drank one cup after another, and then there was a reaction in my stomach. . .

I threw up when I rushed to the toilet and didn't stand firm. . . . Rustling mouth to go back and sit down, nothing happened. After a while, my friend got up and said he wanted to go to the toilet. I kindly advised, "Don't go, someone just threw up. It's disgusting."

6. Get on the bus in the afternoon, take out the bus card and bump into the slot.

When I was in middle school, I didn't do my homework well once. I have to redo two words recognized by the teacher in the exercise book.

Go to buy breakfast the next morning, and then give the exercise book to my deskmate and ask him to hand it in for me.

The most classic place appeared, and his old man wrote after redoing it, stop doing it. Hand it in,

Then, it was tragic,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, What's more tragic is that I was about to graduate before he told me,,,,

Walking behind a crowded street, there was a sudden whistle. Before I could react, a Buick commercial vehicle hit my shoulder. I didn't get angry, just gently took out the key and drew a beautiful arc from beginning to end during its progress.

9. Buy socks at the stall, one pair at a time, which is cheap. I wanted to buy 30 pairs, but only the same black style was left. The sock seller lied to me that one color was good, one was lost, one was on it, and no one could see it ... I thought it was right, so I bought 30 pairs. ....

So I change it every two days. ...

As a result, after almost two months, my deskmate couldn't stand it anymore and said, you are so lazy. Why don't you even say change a pair of socks every two months?

Me: ....

10, the temperature has dropped recently. I saw a Hercules on the highway, driving a convertible and wearing a motorcycle helmet.