Write some funny jokes! Great gods, help

1. When the old couple went to take pictures, the photographer asked, "Grandpa, do you want side light, back light or full light? "My uncle said shyly," I don't care. Can you leave a pair of underpants for your aunt? "2. When you were walking on the road, a bitch jumped on you and bit a piece of meat from your foot and swallowed it quickly. When you stretched out your foot and was about to kick it, the dog said with tears: You fight, anyway, I already have your flesh and blood in my stomach! 3. Two jiaozi got married. After seeing off the guests, the groom went back to the bedroom and found a meatball lying on the bed! The groom was frightened and asked where the bride was. Meatballs said shyly: hate, you don't know people when they take off their clothes! 4. Two old couples had a whim when they were having dinner one day: naked meal! Find the old feeling! After undressing, the old woman said, I still have a reaction! The nursing room is as hot as it was when it was young! The old man glanced sideways and said, it's drooping in the soup! 5. Four mice brag: A: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: I feel itchy if I don't step on mice for a day; C: I don't go to the street for a few times a day. D: It's getting late. Let's go home and hug the cat. 6. The sky is blue, the sea is deep, and nothing a man says is true; Love is eternal, blood is bright red, and it is impossible for a man not to fight; If a man is rich, he is predestined friends with everyone. If a man can rely on it, pigs can climb trees. 7. A group of ants climbed up the elephant's back, but they were shaken down. Only one ant clung to the elephant's neck. The ants below shouted: strangle him, strangle him, demo, it's fucking backwards! 8. The child stole the parrot from the brothel home. As soon as he entered the door, the parrot called: Move! Seeing his mother, he shouted: The boss has changed, too! Seeing his sister, he shouted, Miss has changed! Seeing his father, he shouted, I'm still an old customer! 9. The long road of life, who is good! Families have to take care of, and lovers have to get along! There is a cook at home, a kind-hearted person outside, a nice table, and a missing person in the distance! Keep two, keep one, develop three, four, five, six, seven! 1. A puppy climbed onto your dining table and crawled towards a roast chicken. You were furious, saying, If you dare to do anything to that roast chicken, I will dare to do anything to you. As a result, the puppy licked the chicken's ass and you fainted. The puppy said, Let's see who is cruel. 11. Legend has it that tonight, the ghost lingers, the dead light reappears, and ghosts turn around! May the ghost hear my call and come to your head in the middle of the night, with pale face, green eyes and dry hands touching your face and saying good night to you for me! 12. The day before, I dreamed that God said that I could have a wish. I took out a globe and said that I wanted world peace. He said it was too difficult to change it. I took out your photo and said that I wanted this person to be beautiful. He pondered and said that I would take a look at the globe again. 13. A woman is ugly and can't get married, hoping to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnapper sent him back, and she insisted on not getting off the bus. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his foot: Go, don't want the car. 14. The mouse was particularly depressed because he didn't have a girlfriend. Finally, a bat agreed to marry him, and the mouse was very happy. Others laughed at his lack of vision. Mouse: What do you know? She is a stewardess at least. 16. I sent you this short message for ten cents to tell you that I am not a penniless person. For example, this dime message is my birthday present to you. 17. The ant is lying lazily in the soil, stretching out a leg, and a friend asks you why? Ant: Later the elephant comes and stumbles him. 18. Magpie comes, and my mother says it's a happy bird or a guest; Swallows come, and mother says this is a good bird or a guest; When the crow comes, the child asks, are you a guest, too? The crow cries: Yes, I am a hacker! 2. Cucumber is lovelorn and crying, and eggplant soothes her: love is not only sweet, but also intoxicated, heartbreak and tears. Alas! Who made you fall in love with onions? 21.2 years ago, my father held you waiting for the bus. Everyone laughed at the ugly child and my father cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Stop crying, big brother, and give a banana to the monkey!"! Poor thing, I'm so hungry that I have no hair. " 22. On the plane, a parrot said to the stewardess, "Give me a glass of water." The pig followed the parrot's example and said to the stewardess, "Give me a glass of water." The stewardess was furious and threw the parrot and the pig off the plane. At this time, the parrot said to the pig, "You are stupid, I can fly." 23. An old farmer was hoeing in the field. A crow flew by and took a shit and fell on the old farmer's face. The old farmer looked up and cursed: "Your mother! I don't know how to wear shorts when I go out! " The crow said, "! You shit and wear underpants! " V 24. Xiaoming told his mother that when a guest came to play at home today, my brother put a thumbtack on the guest's chair and I saw it. Mom said, "Then how did you do it?" Xiao Ming said, "I stood by, and when the guest was about to sit down, I took the chair away from behind him." 25. A conversation on a crowded bus one day was as follows: A pregnant woman standing said to a man sitting next to him, "Don't you know I'm pregnant? (I want him to give up his seat ...) I saw the man nervously saying, "The child is not mine! 26. It's just a gust of wind, but it's so eternal, just a dream, but it's so real. You bow your head and say nothing, but I can't be quiet. I finally can't help but say to you, let me know the next time you fart! 27. A pair of lovers were caught by a savage in the mountain and said, You will let you go if you eat each other's shit. The lover did it. On the way home, the woman cried. The man asked her why, and the woman said sadly, You don't love me, otherwise you won't pull so much!

remember to adopt it.