Quotations from Ceng Xiaoxian

1, Zhang Wei, my chicken wings should be abnormal and spicy!

The bachelor's degree and master's degree are all destroyed, and the male doctor can only protect himself. If you want to win a female doctor, well, you have to rely on a saint.

3. "wait a minute! Your boyfriend ... English is really good. "

If you want to ask for leave, I have a stronger way to kill you.

5, this TM is also ok, you are playing Altman!

6, wow, born hard, Yifei is charging the highest realm of infertility.

7. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Little Rare Appointment. I am your new little sage and good friend. Ah ... can you do it again?

8, hahaha! Tigers don't send cats. You think I'm dying.

9. I can't see that you still know. What exactly do you do?

10, gossip is the fourth instinct of human beings.

1 1. Listen to other people's stories and keep your tears.

12, there are four and a half men here. What are you afraid of?

13, there are three kinds of people in this world, men, women and female doctors. () Female doctors are fighters among human beings, wearing multiple auras.

14, it's ridiculous that someone still has a surname of Taiwan Province. After a while, he reacted.

15, pilots nowadays are very boring. Who can answer such a difficult question?

16, Lisa Rong lisa, I curse you for eating instant noodles without seasoning all your life!

17. Now I know why there are so many fake milk powders. First, I buy some milk powder, pour water into it, and then dry it. This is handmade milk powder. This is called Luffy milk powder.

18, calm down. Grandson is faking it.

19, really? What did he do to you? You tried to poison him.

20. "Men are rich, and sows are monsters in trees!"

2 1, be careful, I can rest assured. You are greedy, and I am worried. I'm glad you have a heart. You are a playboy, and I am disgusting. I'm sorry for your ingratitude. Bless all my heart, your moon, my heart, and the Spring Festival blessing is sincere.

22. "One donkey can carry one hundred catties of grain, two donkeys can carry two hundred catties of grain, and I only brought three donkeys, so I brought back four hundred catties of grain. Why ... "

Ceng Xiaoxian's funny quotations

1, this is fucking ok. 2. My soul has been violated!

Life is too short to be sexy.

4. (giggle) Are you telling the truth?

5. What are the four and a half men here afraid of?

6. A good man is me. I'm Ceng Xiaoxian.

7. After eating, the waist is not sour and the back does not hurt.

8. My life has been broadcast live!

9. Hello, everyone, I'm Hu Hansan back!

10, welcome to your moon, my heart.

1 1. There are so many people who despise me. Who are you?

12, Zhang Wei, my chicken wings should be abnormal and spicy!

13, a tough life needs no explanation!

14, Guan Guan is a hard-spoken but soft-hearted person.

15 Actually, my leg has the same experience as yours.

16, yes, I signed up for another training class.

17, as long as you are happy, I am willing to be crazy again.

18, face is given by others, and face is lost by yourself.

19, are you sure? You said the day before yesterday it was the day after tomorrow.

20. Not afraid of hooligans with culture, but afraid of perverts with patience.

2 1, Mermaid I love you, only you will not cheat.

22, my heart is broken, holding it out like dumpling stuffing.

23, people are not afraid of death, the most afraid of is not knowing life!

24. As the saying goes, wine has nothing to do with eating.

25. When faced with two choices, coin toss always works.

26, this TM is also ok, you are playing Altman!

27. You suddenly know what you want.

28. I have a basket of wishes, but I can't wait for the meteor.

29, college teachers tune (harmony-harmony) drama disabled people, you will be red!

30. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

3 1, believe me, drunk Ceng Xiaoxian is super handsome, and 24K is pure handsome.

There are only two things I can't do in my life: neither this nor that.

33. Playing the lute to the cow is nothing, but talking to the cow is the real skill.

34. If brain-dead people can fly, this is simply an airport.

35. Worse. You might as well use cucumbers instead of my microphone.

36. I have learned a new game now, which is called playing coins with cows.

You mean, it's a mouse, but its name is Xiao Qiang?

38. Taking the tomb after death finally made up for the regret of not being able to buy a house before death.

39, buddy, I'm sorry, you're blocking my cell phone signal.

40. The biggest sorrow in life is to turn other people's debts into your own.

4 1, one, two (referring to Zi Qiao and Xiao Xian), one Philippines is two, and you are half.

42. Of course, green turtles all land on all fours. Please show me.

How can you say that he is crazy? Only if you have a brain.

44. Really? What did he do to you? You tried to poison him.

45. I can't please everyone because not everyone is human.

46. Oh, I see, you are sending Bibi to the coffin, and you are saving face.

47. Even if I scold you at ordinary times, I won't know that I am both civil and military until I hit you.

You have the right to remain silent, but everything you say will be your last words.

49. Don't engage in porcelain without Jin Gangzuan, and don't wear short skirts without golden hoops.

50. Confucius said: Sleepless at noon, collapse at noon. Mencius said: Confucius is right.

5 1. Marry Tang Priest as a husband in the future. Fight if you can, or eat him if you can't.

52. As for me, there is no evidence to prove that I am still alive except the butt print on the sofa.

53. Still 10086. It is good for me. I send it a short message, and it will reply to me three times.

54. When you fall down with only one drop of blood, call Brother Zeng three times to come back to life.

55. People can't hang themselves from a tree, but try to die several times in several nearby trees. .

56. It's ridiculous that anyone still has a surname of Taiwan Province. After a while, he reacted.

57. (Looking at the new princess) Do you think this guy looks like Zhang Wei or Zhang!

The worst thing is not the content, but that they don't realize the content at all. How bad it is.

59. Do you know what is most irritating? This is not casting pearls before swine, this is a group of cows playing with coins for you!

60. I have 52 minutes, 30 kilometers from the TV station. Help me figure out how to run. After a series of numbers

6 1, wait, I'll give you a hint. The good man is me, I am Zeng.

62. When you do it right, no one will remember; When doing something wrong, even breathing is wrong.

63, wow, born hard, Yifei is charging the highest realm of infertility!

64. There are three kinds of people in this world, male, female and female doctor. Female doctors are fighters among human beings, wearing multiple auras.

65. Oh, it is possible that the drunken ant met the lovelorn elephant, and as a result, the ant became pregnant with the elephant's child.

66. It is often said that you can't have your cake and eat it, and wealth will make people lose themselves. Only when you are aware of this level can you control your own destiny.

67. Dancing is too tiring and singing is expensive. It's better to get together with classmates, miss the smell of campus, avoid being single and heartbroken, give feedback to each other and pair up.

68. Wear a hat without a brim and pretend to be a chef; Standing on the room to pee, pretending to keep watch; Riding a car and farting, pretending to vent your anger slowly!

69. Now I know why there are so many fake milk powders. Buy some milk powder first, pour it in water, and then dry it. This is handmade milk powder. This is called Luffy milk powder.

70. I have lived for almost 30 years, and I have never met anyone who wants to change me. If there was a turning point in my life, what would I be like now?

7 1. When faced with two choices, coin toss is always effective, not because it always gives you the right answer, but because you suddenly know what you want it to be the second you throw it in the air.

Maybe one day, your brain will collapse, and then the next day you will leave a pile of broken things and a bandage on your head. However, life always goes on, because big things will be calm.

73. Be careful, I can rest assured. You are greedy, and I am worried. I'm glad you have a heart. You are a playboy, and I am disgusting. I'm sorry for your ingratitude. Bless all my heart, your moon, my heart, and the Spring Festival blessing is sincere.

I remember someone saying that when you are faced with two choices, it is always effective to flip a coin. It's not that it always gives the right answer, but the second you throw it in the air, you suddenly know what you want.

Maybe one day, your brain will collapse, and then the next day, you will leave a pile of broken things and a bandage. However, life always goes on, because big things will be calm. I'm the good guy. I'm Ceng Xiaoxian. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm back.

I admit that I like you very much. I have been crazy, lost and sad for you, but I can't convince myself to love you again. Our world is too far away. I can't delay myself and you because I am greedy for temporary satisfaction.

77. Imagine that you are sitting next to her, and then she is joking with you without knowing anything. Then you open your mouth, she collapses, then she cries, and then they hug each other and cry their eyes out. Finally, you have to tell her that we can't, so you'd better buy a cucumber!

78, Narnia sanatorium, a needle package has a good therapeutic effect, you don't bother to go to bed early, 20% off to reward guests and spend less money. During the national promotion period, you can be admitted to the hospital as long as the price is 9, and you can also get a kitchen knife with eight stars and eight arrows. Narnia sanatorium works well! (Finally, Xiaoxian takes out a golden finger)

79. When faced with two choices, a coin toss always works. Not because it always gives the right answer, but because you suddenly know what you want the second you throw it in the air. Flip a coin not because he can make the right choice, but when he throws the coin into the sky, you will know the result you expect.

80. Zi Qiao is right. I shouldn't run away anymore. I don't know when I began to have a crush on you. Maybe this is the last time I kiss you, maybe earlier. During the time I left you, I have been thinking that my life has lost its color without ipartment. Without you, my body lost its soul. You made me keep the record of not throwing up 1000 cups and disappeared. You made me ignore it.

8 1. At this moment, like a dream, I finally won. I made history and became the successful person I hoped for. The variety show tailored for me arrived as scheduled. I went to another city and started a new career. As time goes by, I don't remember the day when I left ipartment. I only remember the expressions on everyone's faces when they saw me off at the airport. Slowly, I gradually lost contact with them, including Guangu, Ziqiao, Theway, Mo Yu, Youyou, Meijia, Zhanbo, Wan Yu and Yifei.

Quoted from ipartment and Ceng Xiaoxian.

Quoted from ipartment and Ceng Xiaoxian 1

1. Hello, listeners. A good man is me, and I am Ceng Xiaoxian.

2, people can't hang themselves on a tree, but try to die several times on several nearby trees. If you step on the banana skin and fall down, you must get up and keep stepping on it. If you step on it, it won't slip.

Let's face it, life is often much heavier than those idol dramas.

Repairing the tomb after death finally made up for the regret that I couldn't buy a house before my death.

6. Every time I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

7. If brain-dead people can fly, this is simply an airport.

When faced with difficulties, we always choose to flip a coin. Not because it can determine our answer, but when it is thrown, we know what answer we want.

9. Don't wear shorts without a golden hoop, and don't engage in porcelain without Jin Gangzuan.

10 Do you know what is most irritating? This is not casting pearls before swine, but a group of cows playing with coins for you.

1 1, I curse you for eating instant noodles without seasoning packets all your life.

12, the bachelor's degree and master's degree are all destroyed, and the male doctor can only protect himself. To win a female doctor, well, you can only rely on a saint.

13. Meeting and parting are like turning around. Round and round, it becomes the dance of life. Some people will come back, and some people know that goodbye is too difficult. Fortunately, love meets every day.

14. Life is a one-way trip. Even if there are some regrets, we have no chance to start again. Instead of dwelling on the past that cannot be changed, it is better to cherish the future with a smile, because there is no if in life.

Quoted from ipartment and Ceng Xiaoxian II.

1. Life is a one-way trip. Even if there are some regrets, we have no chance to start again. Instead of dwelling on the unchangeable past, it is better to cherish the future with a smile. Because of life, there is no if. -Ceng Xiaoxian's Love Apartment 3

2. If you step on a banana peel and slip, you will run and keep stepping on it, but you won't slip.

Young people should read more books, read more newspapers, eat less snacks and sleep more. -ipartment, Ceng Xiaoxian

When faced with two choices, coin toss is always effective. Not because it always gives the right answer, but the second you throw it into the air. You suddenly know what you want. -ipartment, Ceng Xiaoxian

Remember everyone who is kind to you, because they can't do it.

6. Yes, some things that have been fantasized for a long time will not be as beautiful or terrible as imagined in the end, just like the world behind this door is just a forgotten broom cupboard, but it still can't stop the young heart from yearning for it, nor can it stop it from leaping over the red dream in front of it. Maybe there is only the blue impulse left, but you will really find that what you want to throw away has been left behind, but what you want is firmly in your hand-Ceng Xiaoxian's ipartment 4.

I admit that I like you very much. I have been crazy, lost and sad for you, but I can't convince myself to love you again. Our world is too far away. I can't delay myself and you because I am greedy for temporary satisfaction. -ipartment, Ceng Xiaoxian

8. One hundred people have one hundred opinions. You can't satisfy everyone, because not everyone is human.

9. Meeting and parting are like a turn, going round and round, becoming the dance of life. Some people will come back, and some people know that goodbye is too difficult. -ipartment, Ceng Xiaoxian

10, when faced with two choices, tossing a coin always works, not because it can give the correct answer, but because you know the answer you want at the moment you throw it into the air-Love Apartment 3 in Ceng Xiaoxian.

1 1. A perfect man should show his manners and accomplishments everywhere. Everything from the other side's point of view, inadvertently show your understanding and concern.

12, only to find that the gentleness of life is: the best friend is around, and the favorite person is opposite. -ipartment, Ceng Xiaoxian

13. Facing the choice, it is always useful to flip a coin, not because it always gives the correct answer, but because you know the answer you want the second you throw it. ?

14, the lover's tears, a drop on the drunken affectionate heart, a touch on the broken. -ipartment, Ceng Xiaoxian

15, don't abandon others, because you may also be rejected by others; On the other hand, don't be discouraged by being disliked by others, because you may dislike others at any time. Because I always believe this! That's why I'm alive today-from Ceng Xiaoxian.

16, Ceng Xiaoxian's classic quotation: No matter how much you like each other, the initiative in love must be a man. If this man doesn't take the initiative, he would rather miss it?

17, maybe one day, your brain will collapse and leave a pile of shit and bandages on your head the next day. However, life always goes on, because big things will be calm. -ipartment, Ceng Xiaoxian

18, I allow you to walk around in my world, but you are not allowed to run around in my world.

19, all quarrels that don't aim at breaking up are to show love! -Quoted from Ceng Xiaoxian

20. Do you have four expressions? One is crazy in front of friends, one is perfect in front of lovers, one is fragile when alone, and the other is quiet in a strange crowd.

Every time I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

22. There are two most difficult things in the world: one is to put your own thoughts into other people's heads; The second is to put other people's money into your pocket. The former is called the teacher's success, the latter is called the boss's success, and both are called the wife's success. I don't want to learn if I fight with my teacher, I don't want to mix with my boss, and I don't want to live if I fight with my wife.

23. Three keys to success: First, persistence; The second is shameless; The third is to persist in shameless.

24. I stopped and walked, knowing that I was self-sufficient from beginning to end. I don't know what I am waiting for, just as I don't know what I am waiting for.

25. Why did this 90-year-old lady come back to life? Why do hundreds of sows scream at midnight? Why are girls' dormitories often stolen? Why do urban instant noodles suffer? Behind all this is the distortion of human nature, or the decline of morality. A good man is me, and I am Ceng Xiaoxian. ?

26. Life is the decision we make, and we are actually the sum of all our choices.

27. China has so many weapons that you don't practice; You just practice sword; If you don't practice the sword, practice the sword; Do not practice iron sword, practice silver sword; Congratulations!

28. If: marriage is the grave of love, then: blind date-seeing feng shui for the grave; Confession-dig your own grave; Marriage is a double suicide; Empathy-moving to the grave; A third party-it's a grave robbery! ! !

29. Man is a greedy animal. After getting this, he can't forget that. How many people have been delayed by three words?

It is often said that you can't have your cake and eat it, and wealth will make people lose themselves. Only when you are aware of this level can you control your own destiny.

3 1, don't take porcelain work without Jin Gangzuan, and don't wear short skirts without golden hoops.

32. You said that advertisements were inserted in TV dramas in the past. When the advertisement came out, all the audience went to the bathroom. It's all right now. There was a TV play in the advertisement. As soon as the opening song came out, the audience went to the bathroom.

33. Fairy: I listened to other people's stories, shed my own tears, blocked my blood in my heart, and finally spit it out.

34. The world between us is too far away. You can't covet temporary satisfaction, which delays yourself and you. We are no longer children, and happiness is not the only purpose of everything we do.

Ceng Xiaoxian's Classic Quotations

1, Ceng Xiaoxian: There are three kinds of people in this world, men, women and women doctors. Female doctors are fighters among human beings, wearing multiple auras.

2, Ceng Xiaoxian: Wow, born hard, Yifei is charging to the highest level of infertility!

3. Ceng Xiaoxian: This TM is OK. You are playing Altman!

4. Wan Yu: He said he was a director.

Ceng Xiaoxian: This is ridiculous. There is still someone surnamed Taiwan. After a while, I reacted. ...

5. Host: Do you play games?

Ceng Xiaoxian: Occasionally.

Compere: Starcraft or Warcraft?

Xiaoxian: Lianliankan!

Moderator: Spray ...

Ceng Xiaoxian: If you want to ask for leave, I have a stronger solution. Find some leisure, find some time to take the children home and have a look. (Find time to take the children home often)

Ceng Xiaoxian: Zhang Wei, my chicken wings should be spicy and abnormal!

Ceng Xiaoxian: There are four and a half people here. What are you afraid of?

Zhan Bo: Obviously three and a half years old?

Ceng Xiaoxian: One, two (referring to Zi Qiao and Xiao Xian), one Filipino counts as two, and you count as half.

9. Ceng Xiaoxian: Calm down, don't pretend. Grandson is faking it.

10, Ceng Xiaoxian: Now I know why there are so many fake milk powders. Buy some milk powder first, pour it in water, and then dry it. This is handmade milk powder. This is called Luffy milk powder.

1 1, Ceng Xiaoxian: I don't think you know it. What exactly does it do?

Zhang Wei: engraving.

12, Ceng Xiaoxian: The bachelor's degree and master's degree were all destroyed, and the male doctor could only protect himself. To win a female doctor, well, it's up to a saint.

13, Ceng Xiaoxian: Lisa Rong lisa, I curse you for eating instant noodles without seasoning all your life! !

14, Ceng Xiaoxian: Be careful, I can rest assured. You are greedy, and I am worried. I'm glad you have a heart. You are a playboy, and I am disgusting. I'm sorry for your ingratitude. Bless all my heart, your moon, my heart, and the Spring Festival blessing is sincere.

15, Ceng Xiaoxian: Hello, everyone, and welcome to "Little Dating". I am your new little sage and your good friend. Ah ... can you do it again?

16, Ceng Xiaoxian: Listen to other people's stories and shed your own tears.

17, Ceng Xiaoxian: Dear listeners, it's me, I'm Ceng Xiaoxian.

Hu Yifei: Zhan Bo and I used to be conjoined babies. Before the age of two, our brains grew together.

Ceng Xiaoxian: Yes, and then the doctor gave him all Zhanbo's brains with a sharp knife.

Hu Yifei: I am not a casual person.

Ceng Xiaoxian: You are not human.

Hu Yifei: I won't fall twice in the same place!

Ceng Xiaoxian: Of course, green turtles all land on all fours. Please show me.

2 1, Ceng Xiaoxian: Narnia sanatorium, with a good therapeutic effect, not boring, going to bed early, 20% discount for guests, and less money. During the national promotion period, as long as the broken vegetables are 998, you will be sent to hospital immediately. I will also receive a kitchen knife with eight stars and eight arrows, and the effect of Narnia sanatorium is good! (Finally, Xiaoxian takes out a golden finger)

22. Ceng Xiaoxian's imagination: Honey, drink milk, drink milk, drink, why don't you drink! Sharapova, why are you crying again? I told you I don't know where your mother is. Albania or Algeria? God knows being with your real father. C Ronaldo, get down here and don't treat Qi Dan like a horse! Ali, you take Ayumi Hamasaki outside to play. Is the refrigerator a place to hide and seek? ! I'm going to hit you, Beckham. Why are you peeing on the balcony downstairs? ! And you, did you eat my sleeping pills as candy again, Jordan!

23. Hu Yifei: As the saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so what is it in the eyes of the beauty?

Ceng Xiaoxian: Eye drops!

Ceng Xiaoxian: One hundred people have one hundred opinions. You can't please everyone, because not everyone is human.

Ceng Xiaoxian: I allow you to walk around in my world, but you are not allowed to run around in my world.

Ceng Xiaoxian: My life has been broadcast live!

Ceng Xiaoxian: There is only a wall between them, so they have never met. Because one of them always goes to the left and the other always takes the elevator.

28. Ceng Xiaoxian: Oh, it is possible that a drunken ant met a lovelorn elephant, and the ant got pregnant with the elephant's child.

29. Ceng Xiaoxian: Think about the scene where you are sitting next to her, and then she still plays jokes on you without knowing anything. Then you speak, and she collapses, and then she cries, and then they hug each other and cry their eyes out. Finally, you have to tell her that we can't, so you'd better buy a cucumber!

Ceng Xiaoxian: You mean, it is a mouse, but its name is Xiao Qiang?