Funny classic quotations

In real life or work and study, everyone is familiar with those classic quotations. Quotations are speeches or excerpts that highly summarize and summarize certain things. What kind of quotations can I refer to? The following are funny classic quotations I compiled for you, for reference only. Let's have a look.

Funny classic quotations 1 1. Your future depends on your dreams now. So let's go to bed.

2. Love is like a photo, which needs a lot of darkroom time to cultivate.

Love is like ice cream. Avoid it anyway, it will eventually melt.

Love makes people forget time, and time also makes people forget love.

5. When you fall in love with someone, you will always be a little afraid of getting him; Afraid of losing him.

6. Smart people are unmarried, and married people are hard to be smart.

7. Everything has a price, and the price of happiness is pain.

8. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

9. Do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes!

10, you have never been loved, and you will cherish those who love you in the future.

1 1, efforts will not lead to death! But I won't prove it with myself.

12, deep affection is a burden I can't bear, and love words are just occasional lies.

13, God has decided who your relatives are. Fortunately, he gave you the choice of friends.

14. Angels can fly because they look down on themselves.

15, loneliness is not innate, but starts from the moment you fall in love with someone.

The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I rolled my eyes with them.

17, the child in the back seat will have an accident, and the child will be born in the back seat.

18, I lost my appetite when I saw you. What about sexual desire?

On the first night when I moved to my new home, a man broke in in the dark, and I couldn't resist. He stole all my things, damn grave robbers, and left the coffin unfinished.

Half a catty of wine, rinse your mouth, one catty of wine, two jins of wine in the same way, I'll follow the wall.

Penguins look around not because they wait for the fish to miss, but because the network is too bad to get on QQ.

Even without vows, we still have a great attachment to each other silently.

After all the habits, the hardest thing to forget is these unaccustomed ones.

Perhaps, only those initial teenage feelings can stay in my heart.

The major events in life, to put it mildly, are nothing more than making money and falling in love.

I like sunny weather and you like sunny me.

Small ideal: there is a house facing the sea, which is full of flowers in spring and M broadband. You can order takeout and send it directly to express delivery without paying the mortgage.

The kitten said to the mouse, I love you. Can you give me a lifetime?

If you can't fit me in your heart, either my personality is too great or your mind is too narrow.

Know you well? Just play a video if it's okay. Think of it as your TV. When you press it, people come out.

What's so great about you? I still forgot about you.

One person is happy, two people live, and three people live and die.

I found the best endorsement of men's underwear-bird's nest!

Humanity Humanity means that people have sex, that is, they don't know their surnames, but they also have sexual requirements.

Director, give me life here.

I decided to hang myself in that tree.

It is not that I was careless, but that I did it on purpose.

It is not difficult for a person to make mistakes, but it is difficult to make mistakes all his life and never correct them.

When everyone left me, you advised me to wait patiently for the monkey.

Teacher younger brother described the sanitary situation of his dormitory-"I don't want to open my eyes when I go back to the dormitory! ! ! "

When I graduate, I will set up a monument in my dormitory to commemorate my youth …

The scale of the universe is unimaginable. The earth is just a dust in the universe. Why should I suffer for losing a dime?

I have done many stupid things, but I don't care at all. My friends call it self-confidence.

I was interested in marriage at first, but later I was wrong about divorce.

Funny Classic Quotations 3 Sitting up in critical condition, laughing and asking where the guest came from. (pretending to be sick? Resurrected? )

Cars stumble, Ma Xiaoxiao, and the spring breeze in February is like scissors. (Jia Fu organizes a spring outing? )

There were 3,000 drunken guests in the hall, and none of them were bosom friends. Geniuses are lonely. )

I sat up in shock when I was dying and didn't come back until late at night. (Never change. )

I can't find a place to walk through the iron shoes, but the man is in the dim light. Should you be happy or depressed? )

Ask how much sadness you can have, especially if you have a taste in your heart. (Is this the original match? )

Flying down to thousands of feet is not as good as Wang Lun. (Wang Lun jumps off a cliff? )

Wake up and have sex, but now these boys and girls are together. (Causality. )

It's a long way to go, Xiu Yuan, Xiu Yuan, and the strong man is gone forever! (neat! )

This Jiujiang official. My blue sleeves are wet. Do you know the prefect of Xuancheng? (and JQ. )

There are other ladies-in-waiting in his court, 3,000 peerless beauties, who have been ground into embroidery needles by iron pestles. (Realism. )

In the wild sky, a pear tree overwhelmed Haitang. (Spring is coming ...)

The apes on both sides of the strait can't stop crying. A sad ape. )

I don't know what to do. (Gamba Dad Vs, crush it. )

Such bright light at the foot of my bed brings me my shadow and makes the three of us. (I can only understand, but I can't express. )

The son of heaven won't get on the boat, and is covered by warm lotus curtains on spring nights. How dare you? )

Peach Blossom Pond is as deep as thousands of feet, which warms and smoothes her creamy skin. Girl, be careful of drowning! )

Oh, let a man with spirit take risks where he likes. From then on, the emperor gave up his early hearing. You are a bad king! )

My husband and I unbuttoned our shirts, and on a spring night, warm hibiscus curtains sheltered us from the wind and rain. (rot! )

When I leave home, I can tell whether I am a man or a woman. People in bad karma, what have you experienced these years? )

Red crisp hands, Huang Teng wine, two orioles singing green willows. Outside the pavilion, beside the ancient road, a line of egrets soared into the sky. Only China people can achieve this artistic conception. )

Sometimes in the middle of the night, she will dream of her victory, and only lazy people will dream of not dreaming of you. Bear a grudge against this man? )

Excuse me, where is the restaurant? Hanshan Temple outside Gusu. Don't talk nonsense! )

Luoyang's relatives and friends asked each other that the canoe had passed through Chung Shan Man. Run fast enough! )

When my parents heard about my daughter, they cheered up and went to Qingchi. As soon as Sister A heard that Sister Mei was coming, she hung up the Southeast Branch. I heard my sister coming, and her voice was interrupted ... and then she reluctantly answered. This girl, your character is really bad. )

We hope to fly in heaven, two birds become one, and when disaster strikes, we go our separate ways. (You two are perfect for each other ...)

How beautiful she is, opening the pearly window, a thousand roads without footprints. Apes on both sides of the Taiwan Strait kept crying and began to croak. (is this still a beauty? )

I advise you to drink one more glass of wine. Since then, Xiao Lang has been a passer-by. (So rude? )

Once bitten, birds sing everywhere around me. (This is very meaningful. )

Imagine that when Xiao Qiao got married for the first time, no one would show an honest face! The lover is married, and the groom is not you. )

Funny classic quotations 4. You are so ugly, and you come out for a walk. You just ran into a tree when you stayed at home.

Thank you for your silence.

Although I am not a celebrity friend, I have never been to countries like Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam, Singapore and Russia.

Although I look abnormal, I am actually old and talented.

This feeling makes people breathless. I'm going to be short of breath soon

Hello, aunt and husband.

(imitating Adu) Did you hear that? Uh ~ I haven't sung yet

Sister, don't be afraid. I am a human being, not a ghost.

You make me sick

I'll tell you, I'll pass on my leisure.

The question of whether I am a man's coat or a woman's coat is also contradictory to me.

Grandma, it's very kind of you not to go to your coat.

Grandma, I am not a toy.

Good evening, everyone!

I've put in a lot of money.

Four or five men chased me and I ran into a grave. They saw me lying motionless on a grave and asked me what was going on. I said, I went home, and they turned and ran away.

They carved my name wrong, so I came out to change it.

Take other people's road, so that others have no way out.

I'm home and you're still chasing me.

Hey, sis, why do you think this is? Why?

I've had enough of you in my life. I must find a prince riding a white horse in my next life.

It is not necessarily a prince who rides a white horse. Tang Priest sometimes rides a white horse.

Tang Priest is better than you.

Yes, you can't eat meat if you can.

Only Iraq. You said this country is turning yellow.

Funny classic quotations 5 1. If the heart has no place to live, it wanders everywhere.

2. The effect of contraception: if you don't succeed, you will become a "person".

Failure is not terrible, the key is to see if this failure is a successful mother.

4. The man that women hate most is Chen Shimei; Man's favorite woman is Pan Jinlian.

5. Your wife will change sooner or later if you hang out!

6. The girl I like should be as talented as Daiyu, as sensible as Baochai, as beautiful as Ke Qing, as generous as Xiangyun, as loyal as Li Wan, as capable as Tanchun, as smart as Xifeng and as blessed as Yuan Chun, hehe. ...

7. The three most painful things for men: being caught by a lover to accompany his wife to buy food; Caught by his wife shopping with sympathizers; Trapped in an alley by his wife and lover at the same time.

8. Study hard for China! A pack of China cigarettes is a lot of money.

9. Some guys said that a beautiful woman in front had a round ass, only to see this beautiful woman turn around and raise her eyebrows: Do you want to touch it?

10. Give you some sunshine and it will be brilliant. Give you some charcoal to make xx.

1 1. Peacock tries to open the screen, but it shows xx!

12. The son can't control it, but the daughter can't control it.

13. Those who sow with tears will surely reap with a smile.

14. Let a woman spoil me!

15. Those men who say "it's not important to be beautiful" actually broke the sentence: it's not important to be beautiful.

Funny classic quotations 6 1. I believe as long as I work hard, I will succeed. When I first started working, I was penniless, but with my own efforts and hard work, I not only no longer had zero deposits in the bank, but also successfully owed them a lot of money.

I have keenly seen some truth about life, but my life has not improved because of it.

If you are good-looking or rich, you will naturally find social fun.

I'm not afraid to become someone I hate. I'm afraid I'm not as good as them.

People who are better than you are still working hard. What's the use of your efforts?

6. Besides the rich, there are two kinds of people in the world: one is to scrimp and save on luxury goods, and the other is to scrimp and save on luxury goods.

7. My dream is to travel around with a camera in one hand and you in the other. Every day at sunset, the rest place is our home. Then, in his thirties, he was still in a junior position with a meager salary and was bossed around by young people who just graduated.

Like my dear Saint Ji Fang, I married poverty, but my marriage was not successful.

Of course, money can't buy happiness, but with money, others will find ways to make you happy.

10. Many people find themselves inferior to others in terms of money, power and women, so they begin to try to make a fuss about morality and the realm of life.

1 1. When it comes to money, people are not so affectionate.

12. All those who complain about social injustice and system have only one sentence: please give me money, women and social status.

Funny classic quotations 7 1. Bad women love men's money and power; A good woman loves a man's confidence, generosity, energy and optimism because of his wealth and power. Fortunately, all roads lead to the same goal.

The rich man said in an interview that it is hard for you to imagine how much I suffered when I was young. I was a scalper, a porter, xx…… ................................................................................................................................................................... The rich man said, no, I finally married a rich wife.

3. Those girls who marry rich second generation officials suffer from domestic violence every day, and their husbands always go out to have sex! Speaking of which, I feel much more comfortable.

Every time I see young people on the internet talking about state affairs on the forum, I am worried about what they will do. Later, I found out that they also said "I must get up early tomorrow", "I should read more books this holiday" and "I can't eat more", so I was relieved.

If life deceives you today, don't be sad or cry, because life will continue to deceive you tomorrow.

6. Beautiful girls are sometimes worse than ordinary girls. Men can frankly reject the feelings and bodies of ordinary girls, but men will cheat the feelings of beautiful girls to get her body. This is why the ancients said that beautiful women are thin all their lives. Feel it.

7. "Even if the whole world opposes it, I will stick to my dream." "Who are you and who can win the world's opposition?"

8. If you try your best, you may not be as good as others.

9. Handsome appearance and a lot of money are passes for social activities in the upper class.

10. You are a good girl, and you travel alone by reading books and watching movies until that rainbow-like person appears in your life. Read books you haven't seen, watch movies you haven't seen, and go to destinations you haven't been to. Then you will be surprised to find that he did this with you just to have sex with you.

1 1. I like going to the theater. Drama is more real than life.

12. Every time I read the poor travel log, I feel that you are so poor, don't go out to surf.

Funny classic quotation 8 1, worrying about the future is useless, as long as you work hard, you will feel safe.

2, no one is born to dance, only practice!

Survival is my business, and definition is your business.

4. Life is like acting. I'm the director. What kind of role I don't like can be ignored if it doesn't exist.

5. Be a man and know how to praise. Know how to encourage others and appreciate others.

6, people have no beauty and ugliness, only characteristics, narcissism is better than inferiority!

7. Opportunity depends on the left hand, fate depends on the right hand, and efforts depend on both hands.

8. Face up to any pain and don't escape, because escaping will only expand the pain indefinitely.

9. If you like yourself first, others will like you.

10, I'll tell you all the answers tomorrow.

1 1, it seems that people can't walk in a straight line, so they have to walk zigzag.

12, turning your head is just a small gesture, and if it is not done well, it is zero.

13, don't learn to regret, just know how to cherish.

14, the biggest failure of people is "excuses". Whatever you want to do, you should actually do it. It is absolutely useless to wait until you miss it and regret saying "I knew it".

15, I'd rather be a stone than a vase. The vase is tired of looking at it at once, but the stone can get brighter and brighter, and even become a diamond.

Funny classic quotation 9 1, Shenzhouxing, I think it's ok. I don't have to pay to see if you can do it.

2. One person is happy, two people are alive, and three people live and die.

3, one person's loneliness, two people's fault, why do you choose me when you love TA? !

4. Being beautiful is your advantage, and living beautifully is your skill!

5. Baidu couldn't find you, so it had to go to sogou!

6, a friend's wife can't bully sleep is ok.

7. I have become an immortal, please smoke something. The Buddha said that smoke without fire cannot be a positive result, and smoke without fire cannot be immortal!

8. Seeing you, I feel more entangled than going to the grave.

9. If my sister goes crazy one day, please tell others that my sister is a lady.

10,-Seeing you is like seeing small vegetables coming off the market, a handful of fifty cents.

1 1. If I don't hit you, you won't know that I am both civil and military.

12, man is iron, fan is steel, and he will hold his breath for a day without pretending.

13, seeing beautiful women in the street, a little higher is appreciation; Any lower is a hooligan.

14, boss, do you have any coke? Give me a bottle of sprite.

15, not all men and women are equal, why can't I go to the ladies' room?

16, I'm not afraid to kick you, I'm afraid the Nike on my feet is dirty.

17, who did you make that expression with? I owe you an overdue loan or something.

18. If you hang up, please burn me a sister.

19, ask what the world is like, only ask people to mop their clothes,

20. My mother said that I would give a bottle of Fuyanjie to anyone who bothered me while I was playing games.

2 1, there are many ways to end friendship, and the most thorough one is to borrow money and not pay it back.

22. Looking at it, it's all goods. Who do you want to live with, sister?

In 23 and 20xx, the elevator was built to climb Mount Everest, the Great Wall was pasted, gloves were put on flies, and masks were put on mosquitoes.

24. You look "Please come and scold me".

25. How can you get married without experiencing scum? No one can be a mother casually.

26. Emperor: Sister Rong, why do you make things difficult for Swallow and Wei Zi everywhere? What's your motive, you humble slave? Sister Rong knelt on the ground and said with tears in her eyes, Your Majesty, do you remember the summer by Daming Lake and Sister Rong who was rowing?

27. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but the exam is coming soon. Others are reviewing, but they are previewing. More tragically, people passed the preview, but you failed the review.

28. Everyone who doesn't want to fall in love has an impossible person in his heart!

29. The first part: I didn't bring my student ID card. The second part: I didn't do the listening, reading and composition questions. Horizontal approval: Focus on participation!

30. There are two most difficult things in the world: one is to put your own thoughts into other people's heads, and the other is to put other people's money into your own pockets. The former successfully called the teacher, while the latter successfully called the boss. Both of them successfully called their wives or universities or churches!

3 1, the first part: house prices go up, land prices go up, oil prices go up, electricity prices go up, water prices go up, food prices go up, meat prices go up, eggs go up, vegetable prices go up, drug prices go up, this goes up, that goes up, how can it go up? Bottom line: it is difficult to go to school, join the army, find a job, buy a house, rent a house, choose a spouse, get married, have children, seek medical care, provide for the elderly, men and women, and watch * * even harder. Hengpi: Living in China!

32. God is fair to everyone. If you give one thing, you will get another. We always see what he took, but we can't see what he gave us.

33. 10 to 12 women who don't sleep are shameless; Not sleeping at 4 am is not death; Do you often live a shameless and desperate life? !

34. You don't want beauty or money. What do you want? !

35. If you live, you will die sooner or later; If you die, you will live forever.

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