I want to see a joke that makes me laugh out loud haha

One day they met God while shopping! They told God that they all died miserably and hoped that they would go to heaven! God said helplessly that there are too many residents in heaven and it is already full. But now there is still a spot! You tell me, whoever dies the worst will go to heaven!

So, the first ghost started to say... I was a cleaner when I was alive. Very hard work! Busy from morning to night! One day, I was cleaning the windows outside a building! It's the kind of dangerous work at high altitudes where you're hanging outside! On the 30th floor! Suddenly, my foot slipped and I fell! I thought, it's over! Dying! But my survival instinct made me grab unconsciously! Fortunately, I caught a balcony railing on the 13th floor. I thought, there is hope! So I wanted to wait until I calmed down and then climb up!

Unexpectedly, someone suddenly grabbed my hand and I fell down again! I thought, now I'm really finished! However, my fate should not have been decided. There was a tent underneath to catch me. I am glad that I must have accumulated good deeds in my previous life! I want to wait until I feel better before going down. Unexpectedly, a refrigerator fell from above and killed me!

The second ghost said... I was a clerk during my lifetime. Everything is fine, I have a beautiful wife. Great figure! But it's just a bit watery. I have a mild heart condition. One day I forgot to bring my medicine to work, so I went home to get it. As soon as I entered the door, I saw my wife with disheveled hair and disheveled clothes. There must be an adulterer. So I searched all over the house, the kitchen, and the toilet, but couldn't find it. When I got to the balcony, I found two hands on the railing. I thought: Adulterer! So he took his hand away. I thought, 13th floor! See if I can kill you!

When I saw the result, he was not dead! Caught by the tent! I was anxious, so I searched all over the house. When I entered the kitchen, I found that the refrigerator was big enough, so I threw it down. Finally smashed him to death! I was so happy! Laughing endlessly. Unexpectedly, I laughed so much that my heart stopped and I died laughing!

The third ghost said... I was a little gangster when I was alive, but I didn't do anything bad! One day I went to a female friend’s house! Just after finishing her work, her husband suddenly came back! I have to find a place to hide. So I searched in the kitchen and the toilet, and finally found that their refrigerator was quite big, so I hid in the refrigerator! I don’t understand how her husband knew I was in the refrigerator, and he actually threw the refrigerator from the 13th floor!

I just threw myself and the refrigerator to death!

Pig 1 and Pig 2 are at the door, and Pig 3 is on the roof. Pig 1’s name is “Who”, Pig 2’s name is “Where”, and Pig 3’s name is “What”.

So there was a wonderful conversation.

(Wolf): Who are you?

(Pig 1): Yes

(Wolf): What?

(Pig) 1: "What" is on the roof.

(Wolf): I asked you what your name is?

(Pig 1): My name is "who", "what" is on the roof!

(The wolf asked the pig again 2): Who are you?

(Pig 2): I am not "who", he is "who". Pointing at Pig 1

(Wolf): Do you know him?

(Pig 2): Yeah!

(Wolf): Who is he?

(Pig 2): Yes.

(Wolf): What?

(Pig 2): "What" is on the roof!

(Wolf): Where?

(Pig 2): "Where" is me.

(Wolf): Who?

(Pig 2): "Who" is he. Pointing at Pig 1 again

(Wolf): How do I know?

(Pig 2): “Who” are you looking for?

(Wolf): What?

(Pig 2): Is he on the roof?

(Wolf): Where?

(Pig 2): It’s me.

(Wolf): Who?

(Pig 2): I am not "who", he is "who".

(Wolf): Oh my God!

(Pig 1·2): "Oh my God" is our father.

(Wolf): What is your father?

(Pig 2): No!

The wolf couldn't stand it anymore and looked up to the sky and sighed: Why?

(Zhuzhu 1·2·3): Do you know our grandfather?

(Wolf): What?

(Pig 1): No, our grandfather is "why".

(Wolf): Why?

(Pig 1): Yes!

(Wolf): What is it?

(Pig 1): No "why".

(Wolf): Who?

(Pig 1): "Who" am I?

(Wolf): Who are you?

(Pig 1): Yes, I am "who".

(Wolf): What?

(Pig 1·2): "What" is on the roof. ~~~~

The wolf shouted loudly, Oh my god! I'm crazy!

So he jumped into the pot and cried: "Three pig brothers." Eat me, I have no attachment to life!

I teach teachers

My son who went to school on the first day came back from school. The mother asked: "My child, what did the teacher teach you today?"

The son said: "He didn't teach me anything. Instead, he asked me, 'What is one plus two? ? 'I taught him: 'It's three'"

Three turtles

Three turtles came to a restaurant and asked for three portions. cake. As soon as the food was brought to the table, they realized that they didn't even have any money.

The big turtle said: I am the oldest, so of course I don’t have to go back to withdraw money.

The middle turtle said: It is most appropriate to send the little turtle.

The little turtle said: I can go back and withdraw the money, but after I leave, none of you are allowed to touch my cake! The big turtle and the middle turtle agreed, and the little turtle left.

Because his belly was empty, the big and medium turtle quickly finished his share of the cake. However, the little turtle disappeared. On the third day, the big and medium turtles were really hungry, so they all said in unison: "Let's just eat the little turtle's share."

Just when they were about to eat, the voice of the little turtle came from next door: "If you dare to touch my cake, I will not go back to withdraw the money!"

Love words

Love words

p>

Please believe my words, this will never be a lie. I am sincere to you, but you don’t understand it yet. A person who loves you deeply understands how difficult it is to love you, but his infatuation will remain unchanged throughout his life. ! (Please look at the second word of each line)

Save the princess

One day the devil captured the princess, and the princess desperately called for help.

Devil King: Just scream as loud as you want, no one will come to save you.

Princess: Broken throat. Broken throat.

No one: Princess, I'm here to save you.

Devil King: Say Cao Cao Cao Cao has arrived.

Cao Cao: Demon King, did you call me?

Devil: Wow! Saw a ghost!

Ghost: Hey! Still discovered.

Still: Nonsense, who discovered me?

Who: I’m here to watch the fun.

Lively: What do I have to see?

Me: What? Do you dare to say that I am not good-looking?

You: It’s none of my business, why did you mention me?

What: Who said that?

Who: I didn’t speak.

Me: Are you deaf?

You: Can you hear the princess calling for help if you are deaf?

Princess: It’s none of my business. Who told the devil to arrest me?

Who: I don’t have one? He caught it himself.

The Devil:...

It is said that the Devil suffered from schizophrenia

One day, the teacher walked into the classroom, and the students stood up and shouted: "Teacher, morning "Okay!"

The teacher said angrily: "What about my afternoon?"

Then the students shouted again: "Teacher." Good afternoon!"

The teacher said angrily: "What about me tonight?"

The students shouted again: "Good afternoon, teacher!"

The teacher nodded and said: "That's enough, now shout it again!"

The students shouted in unison: "Teacher, good morning, good afternoon, and good evening!"

Teacher Said: "Sit down! Today we are going to review antonyms. Let's practice like this. I will say one thing and you will say the antonyms out loud. Let's start now."

Teacher: "The weather is very good today."

Student: "The weather is very bad today."

Teacher: "The sun is shining everywhere."

Student: "It is cloudy everywhere."

Teacher : "The road is crowded."

Student: "There is no one on the road."

Teacher: "Young."

Student: "Old."

Teacher: "Stand."

Student: "Lie down"

Teacher: "There is a young man standing on the road."

< p>Student: "There was a young man lying down on the road."

Teacher: "I picked up a dollar."

Student: "I lost a dollar." < /p>

Teacher: "I picked up one yuan and gave it to the teacher."

Student: "I lost one yuan and stole it from the teacher."

Teacher: "Wrong, you can't say that!"

Student: "Correct, you should say it like this!"

Teacher: "Wrong."

Student: "Correct. ”

Teacher: “This is not okay, this is illegal!”

Student: “This is okay, this is legal!”

Teacher: “I Say it’s wrong.”

Student: “We say it’s right.”

Teacher: “Listen to the teacher, what the teacher says is correct!”

Student: "Listen to us, everything the teacher said is wrong!"

Teacher: "You are stupid."

Students: "We are smart."

Teacher: "Stop!"

Students: "Continue!"

Teacher: "Stop now! Stop talking!"

Students: "Let's continue now!" Say more!"

Teacher: "You stupid pigs, I said stop!"

Student: "We are all geniuses, we say continue! ”

Teacher: “You listen to the teacher!” ”

Student: “Teacher, listen to us! ”

Teacher: “Students must listen to the teacher!” ”

Student: “Teachers must listen to their students!” ”

Teacher: “Stop practicing now! ”

Student: “Now let’s continue practicing!

Teacher: "Are you done?" ”

Student: “We have a beginning and an end!” ”

Teacher: “Then stop!” idiot! ”

Student: “Then we should continue!” genius! ”

....Then the teacher walked out of the classroom angrily holding the book in his arms~~~~